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Please pray for my children
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I’m writing again to ask for prayer for my children (and me) because they are just so angry these days. Today had a really bad moment. My autistic son (known for his aggressive behavior) got into an argument with his older sister (who is very vocal and dramatic about things), and he ended up pulling her hair. I ended up having to intervene, and when dd got free from him, I told her to go in the kitchen so I could talk with her (she kept arguing and “baiting him” even after I asked her to stop), but instead she went up to her room, screaming like a banshee, then deliberately broke a window on the way up.
This is now two windows I have to pay to repair since my son threw something and it ended up breaking another window a couple of weeks ago. They are just so angry….about their parents’ being separated, about their dad living with a girlfriend, about them buying a new house while we live in an old and in need of repair house in a lesser neighborhood. I have begun praying and claiming those healing verses that were mentioned in another thread (plus some others), but today everything seems worse. So please pray for us….again!
Thanks,
Sue
Heavenly Father, You know the needs of this family, especially these amazing yet troubled children. You know the desires of their hearts. Please assure each one that they are dearly and deeply loved, both by You and by their parents. Give them some healing and peace to be calm and loving toward each other and particularly toward themselves. Let them remember that Your ways are not our ways and that Your knowledge will never be ours to understand. Please Lord, give Sue the words her children need to hear, the attitude they need to see, and the assurance of Your presence that they all need to feel. In You and Your Son we trust, Lord. Amen.
Oh Sue, I am so sorry, it is so hard when children have both medical issues and have a difficult living arrangement. Just know that you are doing the best you can, and that you must try and stay calm through all this – I don’t really have words of wisdom -I just feel awfully bad for you. All I know for sure is, that the only time you will get through to your kids is when everyone is calm and willing to listen. You should try and talk to them calmly about your expectations for behavior, your expectations for them in regards being responsible – you can tell them that everytime they break something – that is something you have to pay to repair and that is money gone and not coming back to do other things with. Does your son have medication for his aggression? I would talk to his doctor if you can for some advice, as he is probably not able to control his impulses – I will pray for you – I can tell you are likely so tired after your dad’s illness, the bats and now all this – hang in there, I will keep you in my thoughts. Blessings and prayers. Linda
As the daughter of divorced parents, I can relate to your children. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. We started out living with our dad, and my mom would say anything and everything she could to get us to look at Dad as the enemy. I ended up leaving to live with Mom at 15. My brothers stayed with my dad. It was absolutely a horrible time in my life. There’s not a ton you can do about their dad bad-talking you and offering the kids “better” stuff when he has them, except for talking to him about it, which I know may not be easy, feasible, practical, possible, whatever. But prayers do help immensely. I wish that my family had been closer to Christ as we went through that difficult time.
Praying for all of you. (((hugs)))
Thank you all for your prayers. I am looking to carve out some time alone to let God talk to me about this, especially to hear what His plan of action would be. Hopefully, that will come soon, even if it means setting aside my desire to complete the planning and organizing of our upcoming school year in order to have time for this. After all, what’s the worst that could happen, we just have to grab the books we need and start reading–without consulting a daily planner for a few days? The work will still get done. We start the day after Labor Day.
God’s healing balm was applied a little while ago when I called to check on the jury duty thing and the message said we do not have to report for duty tomorrow! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF! I will double my prayers for our local government tomorrow to add to my civic duty.
Blessings,
Sue
Another bit of healing balm….I just KNOW my son has the spirit of God dwelling in him, despite all of the fighting and vying for control over situations and angry outbursts. This afternoon, he went out to ride his bike with his younger sister (the artist) who decided to draw the story of Rapunzel on the driveway with chalk. He asked to use the chalk, and he drew parking spaces and turning lanes for traffic along the driveway.
He also drew something else. When I went outside to look at what they had drawn, he gave me a tour, saying, “These are all parking spaces, and this is a stop sign, and this is an arrow for turning, and this is Jesus on the cross.”
This kid has his moments when I know he loves Jesus! (And I needed to see that today.)
Hi Sue,
I know it can be hard when kids are angry. I’m not a fantastic expert of this… I am a child of divorced parents, and it was hard – but I don’t think it made me angry. I am also a step-mom to 3 kids of divorce (now adults) who were VERY angry… although I believe the oldest two were angry for quite a while before the divorce too. So in a way I guess I’ve seen both sides a bit.
Your kids might need some sort of councelling to get rid of some of the anger – but that can be tricky too…. finding a councellor that will help instead of hurt… possibly family councelling would work good (then you can get a feel if the councellor is a quack or not)
Something that might be helpful is having a family meeting once or twice a week (at a regular time). This isn’t something we have done yet, but I want to do. There was a book I read that had a good format for that… “Positive Discipline” I think it was called. I am hoping to try to implement some of the ideas. People can put items on the agenda when they have a problem, and during the family meeting everyone works to find a good solution. Also there were other suggestions, like having a good, friendly place that a person can go to cool down when they are upset.
Hang in there…. and as hard as it is, try to keep cool yourself. (something I need to work on….)
I will be praying, too. I also second the family counselling (perhaps your pastor? that way there’s a personal investment in your lives and it gives them a positve male influence and one they can trust to go to when they need it) and also second what Linda said about having your dd pay for the window. When my children break things, they have to use thier allowance and/or do extra work to pay for it or buy another. That way they have a tangible, natural, real world consequence.
Keep immersed in G-d’s Word and whatever draws you closer to Him so He may keep you strong. He’s your loving, faithful husband.
Rachel
Praying for you! Deep breaths, lots of prayer, one foot in front of the other, and let Him carry you when you’re weary…He promises to. He is the Lifter of your head, Sue.
Love in Him,
Amy
Well, I’m going to have to have her work it off in chores, really big chores, because I can’t afford to give them an allowance! But this disrespectful response to everything that annoys her is a long-term issue to be worked on over time.
Thanks for lifting us up in prayer.
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