Survived test. Rough but got thru by the grace of God. Dear husband read scripture to me for 1.5 hours while I had to be still while in pain. What a gift! Waiting to hear results and find out if and when surgery. Meanwhile, pretty sick, worn down, and trying to be deeply thankful despite circumstances. Today was supposed to be the first day of our school year, but I guess that was my calendar, not God’s. And I have always struggled with that submitting…yet He is faithful to keep teaching me …His way, not mine.
Though you slay me, yet will I trust you. -Job. It is hard to be so continuously ill. I have to force myself to not think it will always be this way. To reach out in faith and keep getting ready for school and other future things instead of curling up in a ball and resigning myself to this bleak reality.
I am thankful for my loving husband who risked much to take me to the test today and poured the holy words of God on me while I suffered. He is such a blessing to me. And my dear friends’ daughter came and stayed with the children. And two of my sons have new glasses…and are so handsome. And my dear daughter was smiling as she read a book. And my littlest still likes mama hugs and snuggles. I am blessed. I am blessed. My cup overflows. Thank you, Lord.
Am very sick. Weird rashes in weird places, sores on tongue, fever blister even though on valtrex for reoccurring shingles. Serious Asthma flair up. Sick as a dog. Semi conscious and shaking all the time. Gallbladder function at 14% not allowing me to eat without serious side effects and major purging…no matter what it is. I am weak…and unable to even make veggie broth for self. They think all of it is from Gallbladder dysfunction and also the fact that this is the 5th week of not eating. Lots of weird symptoms when you starve. I never thought I would know that.
Surgeon consult at 1 on Monday. Surgery to follow within week.
Wish it was today.
Please pray for perseverance. I am so sick and tired. I can barely focus on anything. Taking care of self is actually too hard.
I finally had to lay aside my pride and realize that I couldn’t take care of myself, let alone my children…
So I reached out very clearly for help. And my church family stepped up. Someone came today and fed the children and made the veggie broth for me. My husband will be home this weekend and take me to the mon appt…someone will take care of the children mon morn. And each day until two days after the surgery.
Right now I just have to be still and persevere.
I found out about the weird rashes and stuff too…apparently your gall bladder and liver work closely together and when the gall bladder is sick it affects the liver which is what takes care of flushing toxins out of your system. Since my liver is overtaxed my body is using my skin. Cool and weird…right.
anyways, i am resting. and trying to stay hydrated. other than that I am trying to persevere. cause really at this point, I can barely sit here and type this.
I am going to try to wait and go to the appt with the surgeon on mon. I WILL express the urgency I feel as a woman unable to eat for 5 wks. However, if things escalate before then, I will go back to the ER. I take really good care of myself. I’ve been drinking a drink that has helped keep me kind of stable for all these weeks…it is designed for a 10 day fast–I started drinking it when I realized I couldn’t eat. It keeps my bloodsugar stable and gives energy…and for the first while I felt great. Symptoms all disappeared cause I wasn’t eating. I never intended to be on it this long…I was just trying to figure out why I couldn’t eat. But it made my blood work look so good the first time I went to the ER that the doc insinuated that I had lied about not eating in 3 wks. I know how to take really good care of myself and was–drinking electrolytes, etc. which caused him to look at me as if I was speaking a foreign language! And I don’t have a single stone in the gallbladder so that is why the ER wouldn’t jerk it out. My gallbladder is diseased and not functioning (which could only be found by that HIDA scan yucky test which the ER couldn’t perform). It is hereditary in my maternal line. I tried and failed to skip that one.
I appreciate your care, concern, and prayers.
I am scared at times, because I’m weak and have been wasting away…but the ball is rolling. And my doc said if I need to go to the ER go…but if I can wait to go to the surgeon I have an appt with…that would be better b/c you never know if they have a competent surgeon on call over the weekend (and unfortunately I am also a bit of a complicated patient)…if I could even get them to believe me. My doc said I could stop drinking my drink…and then go in…they’d believe me then…but it would make me so very much more sick…you can’t know how sick I get without something going in…I can’t make myself hurt me like that just to get surgery sooner. crazy system crazy
Thank you all. Lord willing, I’ll be alright by this time next week!