playing outside with others

Welcome to Simply Charlotte Mason › Discussion Forum › Moms’ Porch › Let’s Chat › playing outside with others

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • February 25, 2011 at 12:50 am
    ruth
    Participant

    I’m having some problems with the children playing outside with other kids.  We live in military housing and have a park play structure right outside our front door.  It’s really nice to not have to go far for the kids to play.  The problem is with the other kids in the neighborhood.  The pollicy on base is that you can let your kids outside unsupervised at 6 years old.  I really dissagree with this as a 6 year old is not old enough to make good decisions.  As a result I am often the only parent outside and am having to deal with other kids picking on and mistreating my children.  I have mixed feelings about not letting my children outside to play with the other kids.  It seems unfair to me to not let my children play outside because other kids are mean and disrespectful.  But at the same time I don’t want my children being treated the way they are and picking up the bad behavior themselves.  My son is 5 1/2 and very social and enjoys being around other children.  I think it would be hard to make him stay inside when he can see the other kids playing from the window.  We are part of a homeschool group that has a Physical Education class once a week where we can play with other homeschooled children who are generally better behaved.  We also do karate 3 times a week.

    I know one of the reasons we homeschool is to avoid this very issue but I don’t like the idea of keeping my children “locked up in the house” either.  We do go outside when the kids are in school, but often times my son gets bored, because theres no one to play with.  I don’t know what to do and feel bad about not knowing how to handle this.  I would really appreciate any advice.  TIA.

    Ruth

    February 25, 2011 at 1:06 am
    LindseyD
    Participant

    Ruth,

    I understand this issue completely. We live right around the corner from a very nice park with a great play structure. As much as I would like to shelter my children from exposure to potentially inappropriate, rude, crude, or otherwise behavior, the truth is that I can’t. So, I must do my best to equip them for times when it’s impossible not to be around others. If we are at the park and another child wants to play with them, I allow it, only I watch very closely. If I see any questionable behavior or hear any type of disrespectful speaking or language, I promptly call my children over, explain the problem, and make sure they understand that they are not to behave that way. Depending on the situation, I might also suggest that they play with each other and not the other child. 

    If we have been in a particularly uncomfortable situation involving another child’s behavior in front of my children, I will make sure to explain (in the safety of our own home) that some children are not taught the proper way to act. Our children need to realize that not everyone is brought up the same way, that different families believe and teach different things, and that it is up to us to make the right choice. As parents, we can use the Bible to our advantage by pointing out verses that speak against rebellion, disobedience, anger, bad language, etc. And I also make sure to explain to my children that the only way we can act good and have good behavior is because we know Jesus. He gives us the power to make the right choices. Some children don’t know Jesus, and we can’t expect them to act like Jesus would want them to when they don’t know any better. My children are 5 1/2 and 7, and they understand this explanation very well. In our opinion, the answer is not keeping our children from the world, but preparing them for it. Unfortunately, this sometimes has to begin on the playground at 5 years old.

    As for you being the only parent on the playground to supervise, I think you should bring that issue up to someone in authority on the base. You’re right about 6 years old being too young to be alone and expected to make good decisions. I wouldn’t think a child any younger than 10 should be on a playground by themselves. Is there a supervisor or someone over the families on base that you could speak to about this rule? You aren’t responsible for others children or the children’s behavior, and you shouldn’t be expected to be.

    You shouldn’t have to keep your kids inside because of others. It is just as much your right to share the playground as it is for them, but parents have to work together to make sure it is an enjoyable, safe place, not a place where it is just assumed that Ruth is watching the kids while other parents do whatever. Perhaps you could see this as a good opportunity to make some positive changes on the base. And if the parents insist on allowing their children to play unsupervised, then I would say that you have every right to correct their children’s rudeness or disrespect to your son. If those kids go home and “tattle” on you, then you could sternly say, “Well, I wouldn’t have to tell your son not to use that language if you were out there to handle it, but I won’t allow that type of talk in front of my five-year-old.” That could cause the other parents to take a step back and see that maybe their children aren’t to be trusted alone at the playground after all.

    Sorry that’s so long. I got kind of riled up. ha!

    Blessings,

    Lindsey

    February 25, 2011 at 1:08 am
    lakrueger
    Member

    Hi Ruth!

    We’ve faced this same sort of thing with our son.  We don’t have play equipment right outside the house, but there are neighborhood kids that play together next door.  Unfortunately they aren’t well behaived nor are they polite by any stretch of the imagination.  We tried to let our son play with them a couple of times because we really wanted him to be able to, but being the very shy and sensitive fellow he is they picked on him terribly.  A couple years ago there were two new boys in the neighborhood and he tried playing with them.  My husband heard the boys one day cussing so bad it made him blush – and he used to be in the Navy!  That was it for them.  A few weeks after that the police came to our door asking if we knew who those boys were and if we could keep an eye on them because they had been caught trying to set a fire on a neighbors property. (They were probably around 8 or 9 at the time and the family has since moved away.) When I told the officer we knew of them but that we didn’t let our son play with them he said that that was a very wise thing. 

    It’s been difficult for me to keep him from playing like that, but I know that it really would be worse for him to be exposed to that language, behaviour and bullying.  Thankfully he understands (he’s 12 now) and really doesn’t want to hang around with them, which does make it a little easier for me.  Try not to let your guilt have you put your child in a situation that you honestly don’t think is good for him.  Maybe when the kids are playing outside you can engage him with something else that he really enjoys.  It might also be a good opportunity for you to explain that we need to be careful of who we hang out with, not only as children but our whole lives.

    Blessings, Linda

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • The topic ‘playing outside with others’ is closed to new replies.