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Paying Attention
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What does that mean to you in your home?
At first, I really expected dd, age 7.5, to just sit still and listen. But as we’ve been doing this for a couple months, I’m beginning to see that she is listening even though she may not be sitting perfectly still….because when she is climbing all over the couch while I’m reading, I’ll ask her what I just read. Most of the time, she’s right on. But I still wonder what I should really be expecting of her, what kind of habits I’m allowing to develop, and whether she will continue to be right on as those habits are developed.
I know some people say they allow their kids to color during read aloud, or that they read aloud during lunch, but I just don’t feel comfortable with that…I can’t articulate why. (Of course, if I had to choose between climbing on the couch or coloring, I’d rather she colored!) But, really, I just want her to sit still beside me. It’s that too high of an expectation?
What do read aloud times look like in your house? I doubt there are very many only child families here….I feel like that makes a difference, but maybe not? Right now, she’s an only child. But I’ll be delivering our astounding-surprise baby in 5 weeks. I’m sure dynamics will change dramatically in the coming months….
Any guidance on reasonable expectations would be appreciated.
I always let my kids draw, do handiwork or play with legos while I read aloud. My son graduated year before last so it’s just my daughter and myself now. She’s in 7th grade and still prefers to have something to do with her hands while I read. I’ve always allowed it because I personally, listen better when I am doing something instead of just sitting still. When I listen to an audio book or a sermon, I clean or walk or do needlework. I never just sit still with my hands in my lap and listen so I don’t expect my children to.
I let my kids do things with their hands too– draw, knit, play with quiet toys. They have to sit up; they can sprawl but they can’t move too much because with 4 kids they’d bump each other and we’d have problems.
My dd MUST have something to do with her hands/body while she’s listening or she just can’t give a narration. Usually this is play dough or putty or even a stuffed animal. She can give spot-on narrations if I allow her to listen this way. It took longer than I care to admit of me insisting that she sit perfectly still while I read. Then we would both be frustrated when she didn’t give a good narration. I still get somewhat distracted by her quiet play while I read, but I have to remind myself that she is her own person and I need to respect how she learns.
My ds, on the other hand, can sit perfectly still and listen and then give great narrations. My children are COMPLETE opposites, however. He doesn’t need the movement; she does. As long as she’s not making a bunch of noise or distracting him in any way, I let her move around/fidget as necessary and trust that she’s really paying attention.
Her biggest obstacle when it comes to attention is when she’s given a task. She gets distracted very easily. For example, this morning she went into her bathroom to brush her teeth, but her brother’s ninja sword was lying on a chair on the way. She started playing with it, and I had to get her back on track. When I asked her why she was playing with the sword instead of brushing her teeth, her honest reply was, “I got distracted.” She’s my stop-to-smell-the-roses child. 😉
My daughter lays on the floor with her legs in the air and moves them like she is riding a bicycle! This is her go to position when I am reading out loud. She needs the movement. She will hang upside down off the couch too. She dresses her doll in different outfits and she builds with legos. She never looks like she even has a clue that school is going on, but when she narrates it is outstanding and the connections she makes or her view or take on a reading is uaully very insightful, so I have no problem with her doing these things. Now, when we do work that require writing, then I require her to sit still, proper, and give me her best efforts.
My son usually takes his lego people and acts out the reading with them on the coffee table. Otherwise he sits beside me and follows along in the book. I have noticed though that when he sits and follows alaong is when he usually starts day dreaming!
I have often worried that I was enabling bad habits, but I do not want to raise kids under the sit down, shut up and listen style of PS. I want my kids to ask those questions and think outside of the box and not be sheeple so we are not prim and proper we are whatever gets the job done people. LOL HTH
I have several motion children. My oldest, who is 20, can sit quietly now. He learned better while in motion as a youngster. Many adults cannot sit perfectly still, yet are very successful in life. I am so thankful that we can tailor learning to our children’s needs.
Great thoughts here! Thanks! I would be so very lost without forums like this!!! So thankful for SCM!!
My DD is the same way. I’ve found that kinetic sand or putty or coloring helps sooo much. It’s even helped with her memorizations! She’s doing so much better now that I’ve relaxed a bit and let her keep busy with her hands. She seems to retain much more information now.
Edited to add: I remember in elementary school a teacher gave us paper and colored pencils and we were instructed to “doodle” while she read to us. I found that I myself, was able to listen better and focus.
Handwriting/copywork, coloring, playing with blocks, etc. Even my 12YO, except for when he is taking notes for science.
We really like the Thinking Putty at our house. It has a nice hand feel as it is a larger amount than regular Silly Putty, but otherwise very similar. There is just something about squeezing it that is relaxing for my girls and even me.
My daughter is the same way. If she is in the mood to color & I have a coloring page that’s relevant to what I’m reading then I let her color. (Very easy to find relevant coloring pages for Bible lessons online). She can move around as long as she does so quietly and not right next to me on the couch. I simply can’t focus on what I’m reading if she is making noise or bumping into me. I also have a 2 yr old son so, I often feel like I’m homeschooling an only child. She seems to listen the best and absorb the most when she colors while I read. Play dough is a no-go because she does not like getting it under her nails. I like the Lego and dressing dolls ideas! I might give those a try to change things up.
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