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Patience – Where can I find it??
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Well, we survived day 1 of homeschooling. It wasn’t the worst first day ever, but by no means was it the best either. It’s not that we don’t have a good plan, or that the kids aren’t interested in what we are learning, or that there isn’t enough variety… I think it’s me. I *struggle* to stay patient with them throughout the day. Often I am frustrated because of a lack of focus, but I don’t really know how to get around that.
Part of me just feels like I need to give us a bit to get into the routine again, but the problem is that we are going to have very little consistent routine this year. We’ll be leaving for three weeks in Sept. and then will be back at “home” until January when we will be leaving the country to move to Africa.
All that to say… routine is not going to be saving us this year. So I guess I am wondering if anyone, specifically anyone who has struggled with patience, has any advice on how to parent/school with more grace in that area. I would much rather exhibit Christ consistently to my kids throughout the day than get through everything we have on the schedule. But how much MORE amazing if we could do both! 😉
Anyway, any input would be appreciated. The stress level isn’t going away anytime soon with everything we need to get done before leaving the country, but I need to figure out how to handle it better.
Oh, my kids are a Dd9, Ds7, Dd5, and Dd2. I should also say, that I have been very convicted of being more patient and Christlike with my kids lately, as well as challenged to seek wisdom and guidance from other ladies in this area. Thanks in advance! Stacy
I struggle with this as well. I am convicted that I need to spend more quality time with each of my children and be more careful with my words and be more intentional and give more grace. I have recently started reading a book by Sally Clarkson called the Ministry of Motherhood. I am in the first section about grace, and it is also about self-control and building lasting relationships with our children, putting them and their needs first before our own, etc. I got a lot out of another of her books a few years ago, Seasons of a Mother’s Heart. I think it may benefit you to read one of these books a little at a time. I usually do not get far and have to set it aside and ponder how to apply changes to our lives.
We all know exactly how you feel! 🙂 The biggest thing that helped me in this area was learning to view my children as persons and just as worthy of my respect, kindness, politeness, etc. as the people I see at church and in the store and on the street. I prayed a LOT!
My favorite book dealing with this topic is Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell. I have been reading this book at least once a year for 11 years now. It’s wonderful! 🙂
God bless you as you seek to raise up children for His glory! He will give you patience and equip you with all you need to teach your children and be the mom He wants you to be.
I think we all struggle with patience! I think for me it steams from the constant interruptions that having kids around all day results in. I feel like I never FINISH anything, not a activity, not a conversation, not even a thought before something new demands my attention. Two thoughts come to mind.
1. Did you start everything all at once? A lot of moms (myself included) find the first few weeks go smoother if you start with the basics and slowly add in until you have your full load.
2. I love Sarah McKinzey’s book and blog about teaching from rest. I think a lot of our struggles with patience are really about a lack of peace and the ability of relax and trust.
Know your never alone in that struggle!
LindseyThanks for the encouragement and advice ladies!
The first few days were a bit rough, but the last couple have been a bit better. I will be checking into some of these book and blog recommendations.
I absolutely agree with you, LindseyS, on it being related to the constant interruptions. Everything seems to fall apart in a sequence, and by the time the last child comes wailing about something, I fall apart with it.
I have been making a real effort, through prayer, and focused effort, to be more calm and encouraging, even when the kids start getting irritable, and it does make a huge difference. It is amazing how much I want to act like the child I’m trying to train up though, and throw my own little tantrum.
Thankful that God shows grace to me, and that my kids do too. Thanks again for the encouragements! They meant the world through some frustrating days!
This is great encouragement. I have a little trick I use when a tense moment occurs and it feels like my “gentle, quiet spirit” is starting to break…
I start singing! Not very loudly, but softly to myself. My favorite is Fernando Ortega’s “Let the Words of My Mouth” (you can probably find it on YouTube). That song always calms my spirit. 🙂
There are some wonderful mama bible studies available through Doorposts. They have helped me a lot with patience.
My opinion for what it’s worth, is that a few months of keeping it loose is not going to be and end-all to your homeschooling journey. You know you have a lot of changes coming up, so don’t push the school work too much. Focus on embracing the coming changes with your family. If you want to look back on this experience and see a great transition that brought your family closer together, then work toward that.
Good luck!
Man, I hear you. Patience is not my strong suit either. I have been working hard at it, especially these last few days where my younger son has been talking almost non-stop about the same topics over and over. It’s a struggle to stay focused and really listen at times.
If I were in your place, with a major move about to happen, I would likely give myself a break and let all but the essentials go. Have you lived in Africa before? Have you or your children ever been there before? There is likely so much they could learn simply by being involved in the process of preparing for this move. What an experience it will be for them. What do they already know about where you are going? What should they know or want to know? It seems to me this year will be cram packed with real life learning experiences that will be so far more real and lasting. Choose the top three or four things that you feel need to happen (like math, reading & writing), and then let the rest go for the year. I’m not sure how old your kids are and what might be on your agenda, but the more stressed you are the more stressed they will be.
MountainMamma, I love Fernando Ortega, and especially that song. I will have to keep that in mind. SO appropriate!
I so appreciate the reminders to not put too much pressure on myself or the kids right now. I was wanting to try to get more done at least before we left, but I’m finding, that with our schedule the way it is right now, I am having to hold school a little more loosely in order to keep sanity at the moment. I am still trying to get some of our main classwork done, but I may lighten up on a few of the “extras”. Or just try to reschedule a bit since the extras are some of my (and the kids’) favorite things to do. Still trying to figure it all out.
4myboys none of us have lived in Africa before, so I know we will get a ton of life experiences, culture/language acquisition out of this. I was planning on having a pretty light school load once we got there precisely for that reason, but I’m finding that I might need to lighten up even now.
We were actually able to learn a ton about many African countries and cultures last year since geography was Visits to Africa. We ate food from many countries, listened to music, watched documentaries, and discussed many of the issues that they may end up seeing and being a part of once we are there. It was great!
But anyway, thanks again for the encouragement and help! I appreciate hearing from other moms who are like-minded.
Blessings,
Stacy
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