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Parental obedience/self control
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I’m reading Laying down the Rails. Specifically the obedience section. #11 says “It is an old story that the failures in life are not the people who lack good intentions; they are those whose physical nature has not acquired the habit of prompt and involuntary obedience.”
I’ve never had this 🙁 As a child or even now as an adult. I have good intentions but never follow thru w anything it feels. Regularly reading my Bible, praying, school w the kids, etc.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can begin to obtain this habit now as an adult? I know of course to pray but anything else?
First, thank you for your transparency! I know it probably wasn’t easy for you to admit that to a group of moms!
Second, I think all of us struggle with inconsistency in our lives. Some of us are great about consistently homeschooling, but lack the motivation to meal plan or keep the house clean. Some of us are champion meal planners but fall behind in personal devotions or homeschooling. None of us can have it all together all of the time, so having some grace for yourself.
Third, take BABY STEPS. If you decide today that you’re done being unmotivated and try to summon some motivation from no where to be consistent with Bible reading, prayer time, school, meal planning, and housecleaning all at the same time, you’re going to be burned out and discouraged by this afternoon. If, however, you’ll choose the most important thing and establish that habit first, without stressing about the other areas you’re lacking in, you’ll gradually build up to being consistent and motivated in all areas.
So, choose reading your Bible regularly. Pick the time that’s best for you to give it 15 minutes. Start there. Then do it again tomorrow and the next day and everyday next week. Soon, you’ll look forward to your Bible reading time, you’ll be motivated to keep it, and that will give you the consistency you desire. Once you’ve got that down, pick the next thing and do it the same way.
Another thing (and I hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes here) is to remember that it is very easy for us to give our time away to things that don’t matter, only to find that we have no time left for the things that we really wanted to get done. TV, computer, the forum, reading cookbooks, iPhones….all of them beckon to us and ask us to give them our time. What begins as 15 minutes of “work” on the computer can easily turn into 3 hours of “play” on the forum, Pinterest, blogs, etc. (Believe me, I know.) So, guard your time!
If you say you don’t have time to read your Bible, do school with the kids, or pray, I’m going to be asking you what you are spending your time on. (And I’m not saying that in a mean way! I promise!)
Self-control is difficult! Remember though, if you are a believer in Christ, the Holy Spirit lives in you, and you have access to the fruits of the spirit–of which self-control is one!
I really hope I didn’t come across as judgmental. The person writing you now is a recovering TV-aholic–going on almost 10 years sobriety!
I’d suggest lists. List out the things you want to be more obdient about doing or accomplishing and then follow that list daily until a habit develops. I have done this in the past and the habits turn in to routines that I don’t even realize I do now. I am pretty much a free bird … but even I think that routine is important. It helps keep things in order (house, school, life) and it gives everyone a sense of connection and stability. At least that has been my experience thus far.
When I’ve met families and moms struggling with Laying Down the Rails, I am usually astonished at how few routines they have set up in their daily lives for both children and adults. When I show them what I do they always seem shocked. Mabye because the things I do don’t seem obtrusive? Maybe there is misconception about discipline being a real drag? I don’t know.
Now, all that said, I am super flexible and I don’t beat myself up if I read my Bible at night before bed instead of in the morning before my day starts. I’m kind of focused on the whole day, big picture. If things come up and I can’t do something I don’t stress over it … I just try my best to incorprate it back in somewhere before the sun goes down. Honestly, some days we just don’t feel like following our normal school schedule and so we don’t. We still accomplish a lot (and I keep an eye for what we needed to do for the week – again a big picture focus – and wiggle it in where I can) but not in the same way.
Are you saying that you have a goal of things to do during the day and then can not follow through? What are you doing instead? Maybe thinking of what you are doing would help you to modify it a little and create some type of system or routine that would help you all feel like your more disciplined and organized.
Hope some of this ramble helps. Don’t worry!! Everyone has been where you are … this too shall pass.
@Lindsey: You’ve been peeking in my windows!! I have the same problem as the OP I love your suggestion of baby steps and will start tonight with the Bible reading. Thank you, and you don’t sound in the least bit like you are judging…just telling it like it is! So…I guess I’ll turn the computer off now….
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