60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Overwhelmed & ready to give up :(
- This topic has 26 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 7 months ago by
.
- Posts
It seems like we just cannot get a handle on homeschooling with 5 gonna be 6 children soon. I cannot get and keep my house in order along with the children and maintain a schedule to get school done and all the other things life entails. I am very sad and frustrated and am ready to give up. I know this is what the Lord asked us to do, but we are failing our children academically. They are behind and they know it. My oldest is really starting to feel it and it bothers him alot. UGH. I know you guys can’t wave a magic wand and fix it for me. I just needed to let it out somewhere 🙁 Thx for listening.
I’m sorry, Nina. Just prayed for you. I only have 2 children, so I can’t imagine trying to keep up with 5/6….so don’t have much advice. My friend with 7 kids is really helped by Managers of Their Home/Chores. As long as I felt led to homeschool, I think I would do whatever I could to do that, even if I had to let go of ideals of a CM education….maybe more independent work on the computer or bookwork that enabled them to work without me, if needed. And most kids out there aren’t getting composer study, artist study, nature study, Shakespeare, etc. I wouldn’t feel bad about putting the extras on hold and focusing on getting the kids caught up in the basics. The local school district here that is #1 or #2 in the state just dropped Science and P.E. for young elementary…and never even had language. I don’t know if any of that helps….but I’ll pray for you. Blessings, Gina
Oh Nina, ((hugs)).
What ages are your kids? Maybe if we knew their ages and some of the specific difficulties we could help you brainstorm some ideas to help!
Praying for you right now, that God would comfort and encourage you, and give you very specific leading, enabling you to move forward in hope and joy…
Nina, I wanted to add that I have seven kids ranging in age from 1yo to 14yo, and I have felt over the years that there is a steep learning curve to homeschooling a large family if you didn’t grow up in one. Please feel free to PM me if you want! I would love to chat with you. I definitely don’t have it all figured out at this point, but there are some ideas that we have implemented that have been tremendously helpful in reigning in the chaos and working toward peace. Hugs again. 🙂
Hang in there! I know it’s tough and really seems over whelming right now, but if you trully feel the Lord calling you to homeschool than He will give you a way to do that. I can’t imagine having 6 children (I only have 2 boys), but it must be very exhausting at times. But the Lord has blessed you in a very special way. You need to stop listening to the enemy and start listening to God. Open your Bible and read through a couple of the Psalms. Remember God’s promise to always be with you and to give you strength to face each challenge that faces you. Remember to put on the armour of God each and every day to protect you from the lies that satan is constantly aiming at you. Pray often and hard — preferably in a quiet place where you won’t be distracted or interrupted (ya, I know it’s hard to find that time or place with children, but it is do able). Ask God what His plans are for your children and what your role is in bringing His will into being. Then, take stock of your resources.
How old are your children? Have you got a long term goal for each of them? Write each child’s name at the top of a sheet of paper — concentrate on one child at a time. What is you long term goal for this child? What is your short term goal? What are the top three things that this child needs to achieve? Maybe you need to spend some time focusing on just the basics — get them caught up in Math, Reading or spelling — whichever three areas they most need to work on. What can they do independantly? What one task can you give them that is “thiers” — laundry? dishes? sweeping or vacuuming? take out the garbage? Getting them to help can seem frustrating at first, but once you get them into the habit it will take a load off your own shoulders. Be realistic, though and recognize that your house will never be spotless. Figure out your top priorities and worry about them first. Give yourself permission to not do history or geography or poetry or artist study until you feel caught up. Unless you have a child in high school, these things are not as necessary right now, and if you do have a child in high school, try to let them do a little more of this through independant reading, etc. Children can learn a great deal by watching a science video or documentary. Put a basket of laundry in front of them and get them to fold as they watch. Listen to Do your older children help out with the younger? How can you better take advantage of your children’s natural abilities? My 10 year old son can be a wonderful helper. He won’t necessarily volunteer for things, but give him a task and a word to recognize a job well done and he will bend over backwards to do his best.
One of my favourite sayings:”A day hemmed in prayer seldom unravels.”
Nina (((hugs))). I’m a homeschooling mama of 6 from a 7yr. to a 13yr. and many times I feel overwhelmed. What makes it hard for me is my boys (five of them)have all been late readers (I’m still teaching phonics)so they need me constantly to help with school work.
I’m not the greatest homemaker. Some days it’s Oatmeal for supper. My house is not spotless.
A few years ago I was really discouraged when my SIL gave me the advice “take one day at a time” so I took it further and took one hour, one lesson at a time and that has really helped me. I use to wake up in the morning and think of all I had to accomplish in a day. That made it hard for me to just get out of bed. I no longer think like that. I get out take a shower and start tackling things (slowly).
I also see homeschooling as a way of life. Public school is not an option for us.
My oldest son is ‘behind’ in math and at times it’s very discouraging. My 7yr. old still is not reading and at times I just want to cry.
I had to let go of many things that I thought were important. Like art, picture studies, composer studies etc. With my four younger ones,I don’t even do a formal history or science program. I use lots of audio book for that and have many picture books laying around. Now that my middle two boys will be in 4th and 5th gade I am adding those two subjects in.
I’m sorry, I don’t really have any advice. Here I am just rambling. It’s just that in my heart I know how you feel. You are not alone in this. It’s not easy but remember, Jesus is there holding your hand.
Blessings,
Linda<><
I want to chime in with encouragement. You CAN do this with God’s help. I’m expecting baby #7 and my other children are 10, 6, 5, 3, 2, and 8 mos. I’ll give a few things that help me, but look forward to hearing your children’s ages and where you feel things need changed the most!
1. Managers of Their Chores has been wonderful to help me train my children in chores, and to keep them on task and helpful. Also drastically getting rid of stuff so there is less to make a mess with. We keep all toys locked away and they choose 1-2 toys to have out for the week. So much easier. Clothing is minimal, we’re doing laundry every day anyway.
2. I keep everyone learning together for all I can, and when things are really stretched we just focus on the 4 R’s (Religion, Reading wRiting, and aRithemetic). They need to master those basics anyway and then they are able to be more independent by reading and writing about other subjects.
3. There are subjects I just don’t teach, or ones I only teach for a month or two a year. It’s okay!
((HUGS)) Praying for you right now to find the places you can let go and the places you need to focus on for now!
I also beliebe that if this is a calling on your life than He will equipt you to do it. Even if tho some days it seems like you are so overwhelmed. I do have to be honest here tho. Something I have heard time and time before…IF your kids are starting to feel the pressure of this decision and failing academically, the home is in dissarray and your marriage and home is suffering and has been for somr time. THIS is not God’s plan. I will pray for you and the LORD’S LEADING on this. Because we can only advise you on what we believe or think or see. But you are you, no one walks in your shoes and knows the struggles you go through each and every day. And just because one woman can do it, doesn’t mean you must as well do what she does. We are not called to compare ourselves with other women. His will is that our family flourishes and grows and stands in unity. Our number one ministry is family, not homeschooling. And remember, there is also seasons…this may be a season for something new, a lesson, growth, whatever…BUT pray and wait on GOD!!! Get in the word daily, and hear Him speak. HE knows where He wants you and your family. We can only give advice. We are only human. HE is God!
Lord i pray for this mother who so loves her darling children. Give her the peace in knowing your good will for her and her children’s lives. Stress, sadness, overwhelming days are not your plans for this sweet family. I pray right now for this family, lift them high to you, speak to their hearts and calm the storms of this season of their lives. For you know the plans you have set before time, let it be Lord. Amen! 🙂
Have a wonderful day, you will be in my prayers!
Sorry not to respond to my own thread 🙁 It has been a rough couple days.
My children are 12, 10, 8, 4, 2 and then the baby is due beginning Sept. My children are all behind in Math especially my oldest. We just started a new program and the 8yo and 10yo are working a grade below and my 12yo is working 2 grades below 🙁
My oldest and 8yo have ADD. However, we haven’t done medicine. Well, we finally started the 12yo on some just last week. He said he needed help concentrating and that he knew he was behind but that he just could’t do it on his own. He tries so hard but is so quickly distracted with the slightest thing.
Sending them to school really isn’t an option that my husband and I feel we have. I know others who have and it worked for them. But honestly we just do not believe that is what God wants. I know He wants more of us and we are struggling with that. I don’t know what that looks like. Not sure that makes sense to anyone but I don’t know how else to word it. It is a stretching, a pruning. And that is never fun. I have/do deal with depression. I take meds but with being pg I cannot take the dosage that I used to and that has been a struggle for me as well. That and being very sick with the pg and gallbladder issues. Some of you might remember that from several months back.
All that to say it has really led to a giant 9 month struggle. That I’m wearing very thin from 🙁 One good thing – we are all very excited to meet this wonderful little man the Lord is blessing us with to be a part of our family 🙂 That makes it all worth it. It just has been/is hard.
Thanks everyone!
Nina,
I am sorry to hear of your struggle. My oldest 12 year old son has ADD symptoms, but no meds. He is slowly learning to concentrate on his subjects and be rewarded or face consequences for following through (this includes maintaining a good attitude). Anyway, if you decide to take him off the meds, I would be happy to talk with you about alternatives to help him.
Also, I am not in your situation with so many children (I have 4, but it’s a handful to me! :), but would it help if you could list out exactly what your kids struggle with the most academically, as well as any habits? Then you might could take the top two things and just concentrate on those until you feel it is improving before moving on to the next thing. Does that make sense? Just keep it simple and pray over a couple of things that you can manage accordingly. Also, I think taking care of yourself is extremely important, especially with being pregnant. If you can find some outside help, volunteers from church or paid professionals, would be a good thing to look into. In the past, I have had older homeschool teenagers come to help me do things around the house so I can rest or run errands, or just go to the coffee shop and do some school planning and/or reading time. I would advice you to look into that if you can. I was very hesitant about it, but I soon realized it was a blessing to others for them to help me just as much as I needed them.
Hugs to you!
I just wanted to speak to the “behind in math” part. It is okay that your children are not on exactly the same level they might be in public school. One of the blessings of homeschooling is being able to let your child truly learn the material, not rush them ahead without mastery. If that means they take longer in math, so be it! Yes, you need to be consistent in giving them math lessons and math practice. But don’t put pressure on them to keep up with some arbitrary standard. Slow and steady progress is okay. One way to make up a bit is to do math through the summer, so you are likely to finish a book and be into the next level a bit before a new year starts.
Speaking from personal experience here, my oldest did Saxon math for 3 years (K, 1, 2). At the end of 2nd grade not only was math a tear-filled battle, she couldn’t do basic addition, much less subtraction. The spiral approach wasn’t right for her, at all. In 3rd grade we literally started over at the beginning in Math U See Alpha. We just took it slow and didn’t move ahead before she had a concept mastered. She is now at the beginning of 5th grade and in 2 years has completed 3 level of MUS (we worked through summers on math even when other subjects were dropped or lightened. She’ll start MUS Delta next week, which covers division. According to the public schools she’s still “behind” because she has no clue how to do division at all. However, she is confindant and progressing in her math. The world will not end if a child doesn’t learn multiplication or fractions at an exact age.
((HUGS)) Just start where you are and work toward progress. By small means are great things brought to pass.
- The topic ‘Overwhelmed & ready to give up :(’ is closed to new replies.