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OT: pregnant, toddler not sleeping through the night, weaning?
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So, I have a question for you moms who have had trouble/success with getting their toddlers to sleep through the night. I am pregnant with our third and my second daughter is 22 months old and still wakes up about 2 times a night. I still nurse her first thing in the morning, sometimes before her nap, and before bed (occasionally my husband rocks her though instead). I try to lay her down before she’s completely asleep. She is getting better about not having to nurse as much and it’s not for very long. I am just concerned about her still getting up at night…partly because I don’t want to be getting up at night for 2 kids after baby comes. She wakes up and cries or comes to my room (she started to climb out of her crib so we had to convert it to toddler bed) to get me. I make sure she’s had enough to eat, no sugar or energizing food before bed. I’m not a fan of letting her cry it out, but I have let her cry a little bit if I lay her back down after nursing and she doesn’t want me to put her back in bed. Then I usually tell her, “it’s ok, it’s night-night time” and I’ll wait a little bit before I leave. She may cry for a little bit, but she knows she has to lay down in her bed so she does. I’ve tried to make sure there’s not any other factors like too hot/too cold. She takes a good nap during the day and her behavior does not show that she’s lacking sleep. I’m just trying to figure this out! I know people tandem nurse but I’m not too crazy about doing that… I know historically it was not uncommon to nurse past 2 or 3 yo. Any suggestions to help with sleeping through the night?
That’s so tough. I have a 22 month old too, but luckily she hasn’t attempted to jump ship out of her crib yet. I think one thing that helps her is that she has a lambie and pacifier that she is only allowed to have in her bed (I don’t let her carry them all over the house). She looks forward to being with her “friends” as she calls them and I think it makes the bed a more fun a desirable place to be. Maybe you could get her a new special bear or toy that stays in her bed to make it a more special place to be (at least until the habit is established)?
Here is what I did to wean both my boys from night nursing. I used a night light (one that has an off/on switch) and attached it to a timer.
For about a week I role played with a stuffed bear. I would plug the night light in where they could see it from their bed and turned on the light and said “wake up time, bear gets yummers (our code word for nursing)!”. Then I would turn the light off and say “night night time, no yummers” and put the bear to sleep.
Then when you are ready set the timer for a little past the typical first wake up. i.e. mine woke up about 3 so I set it for 3:30. I don’t believe in letting my kids cry it out either, but they could cry it out in my arms or sling. I would show them the light was off and it was night night time. Then each night I would move the timer later and later (I did increments of 30 minutes). Eventually the night light just came on at what their normal wake up time so they knew it was time to get up. Make sure and reset the timer when they go back down so it is on for wake up (nursing time).
It took my first one night (I was lucky with that one) and my second 2-3 nights. I hope this makes sense.
Blessings as you find what works for you little one.
Thanks Carolyn! I will have to try that! Unfortunately, MountainMamma, she has no interest in the pacifier, and I’ve tried the toy thing but I guess she is too smart for that! Haha. Though I guess I could hold/rock her while she cries like Carolyn suggested and have her a special stuffed animal then…
Both of my girls outgrew getting up to nurse in the night on their own, so I’ve never really dealt with this. Though, I have heard of some people giving their child a bottle or sippy cup with water in it when they wake up instead of nursing them. They said that after a couple of nights the child didn’t find it worth it to get up when they were only getting water.
I feel for you! 2 of my kids were very tough at night and woke often for a long time. I thought for sure my oldest would be nursing when his sibling was born, but he weaned at 2 when I was about 20 weeks pregnant on his own. I have to say that with at least 2 of my kids I night weaned them hoping desperately that would solve the problem, but it did not solve them sleeping through the night. I got to the point that my husband would take over night duty w/ the other ones when I had a new baby. Our 2 1/2 year old still wakes up crying sometimes, and my husband has to go back in and lay her down, or give her her paci, but she goes back to sleep quickly now. How far along are you? It’s possible she could wean on her own when you are further along. I know some do and that there is a change in the milk supply around 20 weeks or so.
I know this isn’t always comforting, but I do try to tell myself often that it is a phase and that it will be over and we will be looking back on it someday. Just the other day I was remembering the days that I had to lay down w/ my oldest (who’s now 8) every night until he fell asleep. Weird now…it seems so long ago, but at the time it seemed all consuming.
I hope you can find something that works for you all. 🙂
Mandi, thanks for your encouragement. I try to remind myself that too and embrace this time when they are so young and dependent. I’m still pretty early in my pregnancy so I have some time to see if she’ll wean on her own. If not, I am keeping all these suggestions in mind! Thank you all for responding, I really appreciate it! 🙂
Oh, I’ve been there too! The things that helped us were having Dad take over all night wakings before 5 a.m. until he got used to not nursing during that time (he was allowed to come and nurse in bed during the early morning hours). Also, the music he listened to as he was falling asleep at bedtime (Steve Green Bible songs) would often help him get back to sleep during the night (we could tuck him in, turn on the music, and go back to bed ourselves).
Many kids wean on their own during pregnancy (especially if she’s just nursing a few times a day), so if you aren’t gung-ho about tandem nursing I wouldn’t worry about it yet. The book “Adventures in Tandem Nursing” has great info about nursing during pregnancy, weaning, and tandem nursing if you find yourself needing more detailed info.
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