We do allow our kids to play with the neighborhood kids, but definitely not everyday. I agree that neighborhood play would probably be best if limited to the day time, unless you can plan to get together with the families in your neighborhood occasionally. If Daddy is home, then that is his time, and we aren’t going to let much interfere with that precious few hours at the end of the day.
The rule in our home is that “everyone eats, so everyone helps clean up”. Leaving the table and immediately playing or going outside just isn’t allowed. You’ll have to work with kids on this, since it is obviously a habit that they have to run and play rather than helping with the clean up. I consider family clean up time to be good family time. We often joke around, sing songs, or just talk about our day, so it’s time well spent, in my opinion. I’m usually very good about cleaning the kitchen as I cook, so there normally isn’t much to do after the meal. Clearing and cleaning the table, taking napkins to the washer, loading dinner dishes, and giving the counters a final wipe down is about it. We are done in 20 minutes or less.
As for what to do during family time, I don’t think you have to plan something for every evening. At the SCM conference this last weekend, I asked Doug what a typical family evening looked like for them when their children were little. Surprisingly it was very similar to what our evenings are now: family read aloud, sometimes a card or board game, sometimes a family show, or often everyone does their own individual things. If my husband is working on something in the yard or garage, our son is with him. If I’m doing any snack making or baking, dd is with me. Or the kids will play together while my hubby and I talk or do something individually. We don’t really have set-in-stone plans. If we want to go out for ice cream or something, we do. Our older neighbors love to come into our yard just to chat, and we enjoy that too.
I think for a long time, I really over-complicated “Family Time” because I thought it needed to look and feel a certain way. That ended up taking away some really quality moments because I was analyzing what we were doing rather than simply enjoying it! I’m a bit more laid back now, thankfully.
Beginning about 30 minutes before bedtime, kids have a MANDATORY bedtime cleanup. This is not optional! They must go around the house, picking up any leftover messes, toys they may have left out, books that need to be shelved, etc. and get everything put away that belongs to them or was used by them. Then we read a chapter of a story and tuck them in. Actually, dh tucks them in because they prefer him to do it, and that’s ok with me.
Your family time doesn’t have to look like ours, just enjoy whatever you choose to do. Purposefully plan family activities if you want to, but also leave room for spontaneity.
Blessings,
Lindsey
