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OT-Parents who brag on their children!?!
- This topic has 19 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by
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I’m good with small talk! Love it! But I guess I am just different in that I might say someting general about how things are going versus actually listing exactly what we’re doing in all its detail. And I’d be very careful to know the person and their circumstances before I commented on anything more advanced or anything more extravagent that we might be doing that they would not.
I see your points, Rebekhay. I know that these moms do love their children very much and are very proud of them. Which is wonderful, good news. I’m sure that is all it is … a mom just happy to share their child’s accomplishments.
However, when someone asks you how your daughter is doing and you list everything she’s doing academically and make sure to mention at what level, everything she has won, all she is involved in, etc. that’s bragging and being boastful in my book. They asked how she was, not for her resume! They’re being polite. They care that she is doing well. But that is all. I know everyone doesn’t see this type of sharing in the way that I do. I accept that. It makes me uncomfortable but we’re all different. It helped to hear all your voices on the issue. Thank you.
I didn’t mean to imply that I spoke ill of my children or family in public. I don’t do that and don’t particularily like that when others do either, Christie. However, I find “homeschooling mom chat time” to be a place to express a “stuck” moment and to ask for a little help or advice. I don’t think that is inappropriate in any way. I’m not sharing our lives story. I’m just asking if you’ve ever had a child who had trouble spelling. Know what I mean?
Miranda, I think that in most cases here the mothers are not intending to actually brag or boast, but it is the way it comes across because the moment that it is said in does not warrent such elaborate detail or the audience listening is not likely to share in the extravagance, the advanced work, etc.
Oh, Claire. I know you wouldn’t speak ill of your family. I meant my comment in an I wish no one would kind of way! I agree that stuck moments are good to talk through with homeschooling friends. I don’t find that inappropriate. I was thinking of complaining and woe is me types of conversations. You know the kind that sound like an old country song – my wife left me, my dog ran off, my truck is broken….That’s what I was thinking of when you mentioned rather hearing the negatives. My misunderstanding – apologies.
Christie
@ Christie – That’s the way I took what you said! I just wanted to clarify in case I’d forgotten what I wrote, or if I’d made it sound like my negatives were of that country song nature. LOL. That was an apt a description too!
Ok, just had to chime in here, because this is something I notice a lot with homeschoolers. And I think the moms here who said that the boasting comes from a desire to reassure themselves about their children’s success are right about the heart motivation. So I try not to harshly judge moms who get caught up in listing their children’s accomplishments and ‘wins’.
BUT –
There is a difference between supporting your child and encouraging them positively (even in public) and pride or haughtiness. I have seen a lot of one-up-manship in the homeschool community. And I don’t think that is a good or godly thing to model for our children.
That said, it isn’t really your job to take someone down a notch either! You can’t control others actions or their hearts…you only have responsibility over yourself and your own choices. And the reality is that all you can do is smile and say, “That’s great!” when someone is in the middle of a brag-fest. You could try saying something like, “Our kids are very happy and are progressing well. That’s all we ask!” when your turn comes around. Maybe that would bring it back to reality for the other moms. Most of the time, we are just seeking a place where we can be open and vulnerable (that’s why we love the forum!).
A few years ago I was in a very ‘exclusive’ group of homeschoolers. There was a lot of competition, criticism, etc…So I decided to remove us from that and look for close friends with these characteristics:
1. Love for the Lord
2. Common Sense
3. Vulnerability & Humility
4. Sense of Humor
Even Jesus had his ‘inner circle’ of close friends and I can tell you that if you have a few close friends with these characteristics, your life is going to be really good. Hope you find that encouraging inner circle soon, Claire!
@ ServingwithJoy – Oh, I have no intention or desire to “take someone down a notch” …. It was more of a rehtorical question about what to do in my original post. This is just such an interesting topic to me. To boast or not to boast! 🙂
I have a lovely inner circle of amazing friends scattered across the country and here we have a nice, wide circle of aquaintances whom we enjoy. I can’t complain. I have beautiful children and a wonderful husband and I’m blessed to stay home with them every day. What a blessed life!
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