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OT: Ideas for Mom's Christmas
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Ladies,
I’m in a pickle. I have NO clue what to do for my mom for Christmas! The past three years I have had professional photos taken of our family and then turned those into very nice photobooks for her. She has always gone nuts over them, but I found out from my brother last night that she’s already told him she hopes she doesn’t get another photo book from me.
Let me tell you a little about my mom: She and my dad have been divorced for 7 years, and she’s still single. Our Christmases with her haven’t been the same since. My kids are her only grandchildren, and I have one younger brother, who is 22, makes lots of money, has a live-in girlfriend, and does whatever he wants. When we get together at her house, it’s quiet and boring, and usually she has the TV on. My mom has no hobbies or interests outside of her job as an insurance agent. She doesn’t do crafts, collect anything, or have a hobby that I could invest in this Christmas. She doesn’t cook for herself or others, so anything food- or kitchen-related would not be a good gift for her. She has tons of clothes, shoes, and purses. Her purses are Coach, which I can’t compete with anyway. She lives alone in a 3-bedroom house, and all 3 closets (2 of them walk-in) are full of her clothes, shoes, and accessories, so she really doesn’t need me to add to that. She doesn’t do things with friends after work or on weekends, so movie tickets or restaurant gift cards are out. Her boss gave her a $300 gift certificate to a spa, so she can get whatever she wants–massage, pedicure, facial, etc. She has tons of jewelry. My brother keeps her supplied with perfume. When she gets home from work, she microwaves her dinner, turns on the TV, takes a bath, and goes to bed around 10:00.
I love my mom dearly. She is so precious to me and my kids. But honestly, I don’t think my mom’s life is very full. I understand that because she’s single, she really only has to worry about herself. She takes care of herself, in an almost religious routine kind of way. Any variance in her routine makes her anxious. She won’t even come to our house for dinner on a weeknight because she wouldn’t be able to have what she calls her “me time”, which means watching TV, taking a bath, smoking a cigarette, and going to bed when she wants.
I’m not trying to change her, but I also am at a loss over what to give her for Christmas. She likes expensive things. Anything homemade is not “exciting” to her (unless my kids make it, of course). Because she doesn’t have a husband to buy nice things for her (which my dad always did) I feel like she expects my brother and I to make up for that loss. I don’t allow her to put that pressure on me, but I still really want to get her something nice and special for Christmas.
Sorry this was longer than I expected it to be. I think I sorted some emotional stuff out in writing it. LOL
Any ideas are appreciated!
Lindsey
Hi Lindsey!
Do you think that she would love quality time with you alone? I know she doesn’t want to come to your home, but could you go over there and cook her a nice meal, really nice w/ steaks maybe, and talk about what you appreciated growing up? Do it on a Saturday when she doesn’t have to come home and do her “own” thing. I know that is not an expensvie gift that she may want..but maybe she will realize that quality time w/ her daughter would be the best gift she could ever have. Now how do you present the gift? Maybe you could create a big deal by making a photo collection of you and her together throughout the years along w/ some nice memories in writing attached. And include at the end, I would like to spend time w/ you for one day. I want to come cook for you and enjoy our time alone together. Since she has everything,why would she want another piece of jewelry or bottle of perfume? And since she doesn’t go anywhere, why get her a gift card or spa certificate? Maybe you can speak to her heart instead?
Although I don’t know how close you are with her, most people would enjoy quality time w/ the person they love. But make it extra special on her terms! Go to her and make her a big deal! I hope this helps…and I hope it can set the mind frame to your mom that “gifts” can be shown in a different way!
Good luck! It can be hard to do for someone who may not want anything but what they see as great!
2flowerboys,
That is a beautiful idea, and I would LOVE to do something like that for her! Really, I would. But, her “routine” extends into the weekends. She likes to have my kids spend the night with her every 2nd and 4th Friday nights. On the 1st and 3rd weekends, she cleans her house. That may seem like something anyone could give up for a week to do something fun, but she WILL NOT. We have asked her to go out to dinner with us, come to church with us, to stop by her house, and more on a “cleaning” Saturday, and she won’t have it. It’s almost like she’s becoming OCD with her routine because she will not vary from it at all. She even left our house early on Thanksgiving so she could get home and take a bath! And she’s only 55! So while I would LOVE to take your suggestion, I’m afraid she wouldn’t see it as “good enough”. I know I can’t change how others accept things. My mom always goes over and above when getting gifts for my family and me. Last year she got me a $300 Le Creuset Dutch oven! I can’t do a $300 gift for her, but I do want her to know that I really put a lot of thought, time, and effort into what she gets for Christmas. Those photobooks took me hours to create!
Some ideas that came to mind:
A really soft bath robe to lounge around in, super soft socks, etc.
Does she like to wear things in her hair? What about a Flexi Clip – they have beautiful ones! Or hair sticks or other Lilla Rose products? (I do sell them, ordering needs done by the 13th for the least expensive shipping options to still arrive by Christmas.)
A special food item delivered to her door? (either ordered or made by you and the kids)
Is there a pretty dish/plate place setting she would like that you could get just for her? I know you said she doesn’t cook, but maybe something to use for her microwave meals???
Sorry, it’s not easy!
What about a “me time” basket? Bath products, and new dvds? Does she like coffee? You could add some gourmet coffee or snacks.
Tristan that sounds great, a luxurious robe! And then include it in a large gift basket w/ a hair clip, and some expensive eats! Such as Godiva chocolate, cheese and crackers (the expensive kind), meats, fruit etc…
My husband’s brother gives us a fruit of the month every yr! We love getting those almost every month! And it doesn’t have to be a lot..you can choose how many! LOVE IT! Who doesn’t like to eat?! LOL!
Check this out! http://www.gourmetgiftbaskets.com click on the Christmas baskets!
I was going to suggest a night away with you at a bed and breakfast but it sounds like that won’t work. I give my mom a desk calendar (day planner, I think they call it) filled with photos of my family every year and she loves and needs it. I get it from lifephoto.com and you put 52 photos into it. I just looked at see this year they have a lot of fancy designs but the simple one with a large photo on one side and space for the week on the other is great. It does take a lot of time, and it is fairly expensive but you get space to put a LOT of photos.
Good luck! Let us know what you decide! (Food, being consumable, is always a good option. Esp healthy food!)
I have to say it would be easy to get frustrated in that kind of situation!
Perhaps she liked the photo books but just doesn’t want to get the same thing again (prefers a surprise). We have done a digital photo frame as a gift with pictures loaded on the card in it (more can always be added). It was a mixture of scanned old photos from when my Dad and his siblings growing up (for his Mom, my grandma), as well as photos over the years of the grandkids. She really loves it because she doesn’t have the tech skills to put that all together herself. Another option might be a DVD of collected movies from over the years, if you dont’ have a lot of old ones you could do clips of the kids telling jokes, playing piano (or whatever hobbies they have), saying what they like about going to Grandma’s house, etc.
Would she appreciate some “nice” cleaning products or does she already have her favorites/routine? I would love to get some nicely scented natural-ish top-quality cleaning things as a gift but maybe that’s just me. Like Norwex or H20 at Home expensive things sold at parties? Somtimes the stuff is really nice.
My other idea is something to do with the kids when they come overnight. Is there some kind of craft or kid activity/game she would feel comfortable with, paired with a kids’ movie and some snacks? I don’t know what they normally do when they’re together but maybe it will get you brainstorming.
Good luck!
Thank you for all your suggestions! I ended up going with a cozy robe. I will put some homemade bath salts in with it and call it her gift!
Hi Lindsey,
Just wanted to say that your mom sounds very similar to mine, and it is hard to give to someone who has a hard time receiving or someone who is caught up in material things. Sometimes you just have to know that God sees the heart behind your gift, even if your mom can’t. Your heart is obviously to honor and love your mom by being so thoughtful about this, and I am sure that whether or not she can show it, one day (maybe not this side of heaven – but one day) your mom will be able to see you and appreciate your gifts. Give it as though it were coming straight from the Lord, and let his heart loving through you be your reward and encouragement.
Heather
For bath salts, I add essential oils to Epsom salts. That’s it! Several combos you can add to 2 cups of Epsom salts:
20 drops lemon oil + 20 drops peppermint oil = citrus mint
15 drops lemon oil + 15 drops orange oil + 15 drops lime oil = citrus
20 drops lavender oil = lavender
20 drops tea tree oil + 20 drops eucalyptus oil = Vicks vapor bath
20 drops eucalyptus oil + 20 drops peppermint oil = eucalyptus mint
Add the drops, stir the salts, put in container. Awesome!
Slightly embarrassed to ask this, because I know it is common knowledge, but what do you use bath salts for? How do you use them?
Epsom salts are great for sore muscles as well as just relaxing because they are full of magnesium. Magnesium is naturally relaxing and sleep-friendly. Adding the oils can be for just enjoying the smell, or like the eucalyptus and mint, for relieving congestion or other ails. All essentials oils have certain healing properties, and with the salts make for a great-smelling and feeling bath experience, especially if you have a tub with jets like I do. Sometimes I’ll stay in til the water is lukewarm!
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