Well the OP originally asked about being a helper so I will talk about that. Our husbands have someone in the Godhead to imitate. That is Chirst. This is a command for them. As wives we are not commanded to imitate the Holy Spirit, but he is called “The Helper”. So I think He can give us a good picture of what it is to be a “helper”.
Now you may be wondering what that looks like. I think our #1 job as a helper is to pray for our husband.
Romans 8:26 says-
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”
We are to always be in prayer for our husbands. Sometimes we can pray for them in ways that they don’t even know they need prayer. So petitioning God on their behalf is very important.
Jesus in John 14 says that the Spirit (our Helper) will be with us forever, He is the Spirit of truth, & He will “bring to your remembrance all that I said to you”.
As wives our husbands need to know we are on their side; that we will never leave them (we’re commited). We are their advocate, their cheerleader. We need to speak truth to our husbands. Sometimes we are the only ones that will tell them the truth. However, we need to make sure that everything we say to them is the truth, not just emotion, or what we have heard, etc… We also need to sometimes remind our husband who they are in Christ, or the truth of God’s Word in the situations they face.
And finally the Holy Spirit is our Comforter. We need to be a comfort to our husbands, not someone that brings them greif. I want to be a soft place for my husband to fall; someone he wants to run to, not away from.
Hopefully this helps a little in the practicallity of being a helper.
On a side note. I am not a fan of the Created To Be His Help Meet book. Submission is an attitude of the heart. She does not talk about the Holy Spirit transforming our hearts to submit not only to out husbands, but first and foremost to God. A lot of that book is “grin and bear it” theology. I have met too many women that “submit” with a very bitter heart. That is not what God wants and that is not what our husbands want. I know a lady that will complain and gripe and then say, “but I’m submitting”. I have told my husband of these conversations. His responce is, “That poor man. I would hate living with a woman like that because there is no joy.” Plus, a lot of that book I found to be unbiblical. I also felt the way she spoke of men made them seem very childish. It was disrespectful in my view. It has been a long time since I read it, and I have a horrible memory, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Again jmo.