OT: Help – need ideas for at-home date nights!

I’m right there with you!  Dh and I have a very hard time planning a date night, partly becasue of his work schedule, partly because of finances, and partly due to lack of a sitter. We aren’t very good at planning ahead, and winging it doesn’t usually work.  But here are some thoughts:

1) In the summer time we would sometimes feed the boys early, the dh would bbq something yummy while I put the boys to bed.  Then we could sit down to a liesurely supper. Sometimes we would follow that with a movie or a game of darts, scrabble or back gammon.  Not very original or necessarily romantic, but it was just “us” time, and that’s pretty rare.  I find, though if you can leave the tv off you are more likely to have a good evening together — conversation doesn’t happen while you are watching a movie. 

2) If dinner doesn’t work, plan a special dessert treat.  If weather permits, share it out on the deck under the stars, or in the winter, share in front of the fireplace if you have one.  Even without a fireplace a picnic on the livingroom floor with some soft candles and soft music can still be quite romantic.  Maybe a little slow dancing to your favourite ballads? 

3) Does your hubby like to read?  Find a book you’d both like, cuddle up under a cozy blanket and take turns reading to one another while sipping wine (if you drink it) or snacking on m&ms or another favourite junk food.

4) Do you own a Wii or other game systems with games that get you moving?  Occassionally we’ll play Wii bowling, tennis, Dance Dance Revolution or a Kareoke game.  Ya, I know not every husband is into that sort of thing, but my dh is better at the Dance Dance Revolution than I am!

5) What other hobbies do you share?  Does he like photography and you like scrap booking?  Spend time choosing photos for you next project together.  Just spending time flipping through out photograph books can be interesting and start all kinds of conversations. 

6) If you are going to watch a movie, decide ahead of time which it will be rather than sit down to surf through netflix for half an hour before deciding on something that you can both live with.  Maybe take turns picking.  Maybe plan a meal that corresponds, think “Dinner and a Movie.” (This takes some prep).  Don’t watch in the bedroom as odds are you will get sleepy and if you’ve had a long day one or both of you will start to drift off.  Try to start it as early as possbile, and be open to the fact that dh probably won’t want to watch the latest chick-flick or a long drama.  I would suggest limiting movie nights to no more than once a month.

There are all kinds of things to do, and I think that’s the point.  Just do something together.  Even if it’s just browsing through magazines as you prepare for your next home reno project, throw on a little soft music, pour a tastey drink or break out a bag of special munchies. 

I’m looking forward to hearing more ideas, and am going to go start blocking out date nights on my calendar!

A reccomendation I have is to find out what he likes to do and join him. My hubby loves to deer hunt so I will join him in the hunting blind. It’s just the two of us with no distractions and we can quietly talk. I often take a question book to stir up conversation. One I like is Love Talks for Couples by Gary Chapman. Even if he doesn’t get that big buck he was dreaming of we have spent several ours connecting.I don’t shoot deer but we do enjoy on our date nights when the kiddos are at grandma’s is to shoot bows together and spend the evening at home.

My hubby also works midnights so the nights he has at home we really take advantage of. When the weather permits ,and the kiddos are in bed, we sit around a fire in our backyard and cuddle up with a blanket and some of our favorite snacks. There is something about being around a fire together that is so romantic.

Have your church start a date night with other couples. My friend and I started this back in February. We hired a cater and had a telecast marriage seminar. Every couple paid a small amount to help pay for the cater and the church covered the rest. We are now working on having a game night where we are going to play the Newlywed game and have a carry-in. This is a great way to connect with other couples and have fun with your hubby. If your church offers small groups I highly reccomend that you join that also. It’s nice to have other married couples to lift you up and hold you accountable.

The last ,and I feel the most valuable suggestion, would be to allow for daily connection as a couple by doing a  marriage devotional. Even if it for 10 minutes it is a time for you to come togehter and focus on just the two of you. We starting doing this a year ago and followed it by praying together. This has made a huge difference in our marriage from communication to just feeling connected to him. The one we are working on right now is Night Light by James Dobson. I would highly reccomend it.

Hope these help. Remember that someday the kids are going to be gone. So invest time together now so you don’t grow apart.

Games-We love to play Scrabble -and sometimes we don’t finish but we carry it out until next time!

 Also, Scrabble Slam card game…puzzle…Rummy

My dh and I read one of the Left Behind books together many yrs ago. We both had started them and then caught up w/one another..so we decided to read the next book in the series together. That was fun and a nice time to spend together. And then we discussed it. Or guessed what was going to happen next! Sometimes though one would read and put the other to sleep!

Another thing we have done is listen to a book on tape/cd. Takes many nights but that is fun too! We also like to watch a tv series together through Netflix. We are almost finished w/ Dick Van Dyke..our fav! And are working on Father Knows Best!

We take walks around our property..we don’t have that much..but do several laps…we make the kids play somewhere else…then towards the end of our walk they want to join us they can. That way we can enjoy each other get to exercise plus be near the kids! 🙂 Just a thought!

We like to have a special dessert. That was until I went on a diet. :0(

We are really bad about doing this.

How do you do it? How do you make it work? Also, if we do things at night it seems like my dh always wants to end our special time as “special” if you know what I mean. How do you have a nice date time with you dh and is mine the only one who wants this at the end?

And when do they desire you less??? LOL

I so needed this topic. Taking notes!

Great thread! I need to make not of some of these ideas. 🙂

Another 2 person board game is Risk.