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OT: Dh's lunches
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Ok I’m going to explode. My dh is a hard working, loving man. But everyday he’s stopping at the gas station for one thing or another. I can’t afford to send him with a lunch box and him stopping to spend between $3-8 on average a day. My dh is a carpet installer. Has to have cold lunches. There is no heating food up, it goes in a lunch box. Here is this weeks lunch: Bagel with cream cheese, 2 cookies (home made), chips, an apple, carrot sticks, PB&J sandwhich, 2 sausage links.
Basically his lunch is this – sandwhich or hot dogs(2), chips, cookies, veggies, fruit, 2 quiche (or 2 hard boiled eggs & 2 sausages or bagel w/ cream cheese) and some other type of snack.
I also know if I say something to him I get the same response. I’m just so hungry when I’m done with work. OR I was so thirsty I needed something cold. Mind you he goes with a gallon of water and his 1 pop a day.
What can I do? I can’t afford to buy 2 lunches everyday. I have tried talking to him, but he eats constantly at home so it’s not like it’s only a work thing. Honestly if you saw him you’d never know he eats so much. He’s 5’10” and has weighed 165 since senior year in high school (must be rough hun??)
Thoughts-suggestions-comments? Or am I just doomed LOL
Could you switch roles, financially speaking? Could you ask him to take care of the budget and finances, at least for a while? It may help him to see and REALLY get where the money is going, etc. you would not even need to approach it from the viewpoint of trying to help him see the budget issues. You could just ask him to do it, even if it’s just for a while, because it would help you out a lot.
Just a suggestion to come at this in a way that is not condescending or would put your hubby on the defensive. It is very important that both people in a couple be in total understanding of and in agreement with the family budget and all other money matters. It causes to much strife otherwise, not to mention a lot of potential financial problems.
Just a thought, hope you can work this out!
-Miranda
My dh does the same thing and it’s amazing how it adds up. I’ve taken a few approaches and the last one has finally stuck!
1- point it out (which obviously doesn’t work)
2- added up the total over a time frame (opened his eyes a little more)
3- purchase a quality thermos and give him some hot meals with rolls and other things you mention.
4- We agreed that he needed some extra money so we are giving him a monthly allowance. It’s for his use during work hours to buy that snack, coffee, etc. The first month he went through it by mid-month. The next month he guarded it and now enjoys carrying a positive balance!
It also sounds like he needs more filling meals…think of adding quinoa to a soup or salad, potatoes for energy…hot dogs would do hubby no good for energy esp if doing physical labor. Can you make granola bars? Or add it to some good yogurt with fruit? Just some ideas.
Could you add calzones and burritos to the list? Would he eat them cold? Homemade would be healthiest and probably the best price, and you could make 8 of each, freeze them and pull them out as needed.
There is also a lunch box sized food heater that some truckers use that plugs into a cigarette lighter that can reheat food. Assuming he has his car handy. When my dh drove truck I’d send a few homemade frozen dinners he kept in a similarly powered cooler, so he had a few meals not in a truck-stop….
We have tried to have him do the bills, it doesn’t work. I have tried to show him many times how to do it but with a buisness (his) and home it’s gets tricky. He knows what we have, where it goes, etc he just doesn’t actually do the bills. Example he called just now (Tuesday) asking if we had any money in the house account? Nope I answer, we camped this past weekend and spent more than usual thanks to wood that was wet. He was totally fine with that answer as he knew what we had and how much wood we bought.
I have given him a weekly budget of $10 and he almost always goes over. Even if it’s cash, he’ll just by Thursday go I just needed…and house account it.
MRSMCC- Thermos thing is a good idea! What type of things would you put in it? Cause to be honest he’s not a big soup fan espeically in the winter? Thinking chili, but what else could I put spagetti? Hot dogs are all beef so should be good? Yogurt yes I did forget that one he loves it with PB in it! Do you have a good granola bar recipe you’d like to share??
Calzones? What are they and how are they made, I’m willing to try anything!
Thanks this is helpful. I will put a thermos on the list for this week and try and purchase as it might give me a wider range of protein rich meals to provide.
Since it isn’t a health issue, what about just accepting it as an expense and working it into your budget? Eating out is, of course, always more expensive, but it can be just what you have to do sometimes. I’m sure a cold drink and a break from the job is a relief after a long, hard day installing carpet. Maybe he just needs that little indulgence?
I speak a little from experience (although my situation was a bit different). My DH was going out to eat for lunch a lot, but mostly to spend time with other people at work and make connections. We both felt, after looking at the budget and talking about it, that it was worth the expense. It not only gives him an opportunity to build relationships, it gives him a little time to step away from his desk and walk down the street. He is refreshed afterward and ready to work hard the rest of the afternoon.
I just thought I’d shine a different perspective on it. HTH!
Thanks MntMamma – I love the idea!! We have tried to make his little outings an expense but our current and previous accountants have all felt it wasn’t a good idea. We’ve never been audited and don’t want to be if we can help it. He (we) go on dates and use that for meal expenses on a Friday night, (I am paid by him for office work so it works and is ok) but for a quick bite by himself it wont fly. If he went with someone else and paid for theirs we could unfortunately he installs by himself. I love the idea and appreciate the suggestion but “solo” we can’t do 🙁 We’ve tried.
This must be a common issue-my hubby does the same thing!! In my husband’s case, I think sometimes the stopping at the gas station is a small stress reliever, so I try not to get too worked up about it, but, those trips do add up. I do our finances, and my husband is very supportive of my concerns etc, but I added up all the gas station trips for a month and showed him. After that, we decided to share 1 debit card between us, and he gets $10 in cash for the week. He doesn’t usually go over, because he leaves the debit card at home unless he needs it for something specific, like gas. 🙂
Hi Misty,
Calzones are pizza pockets. You could make pizza dough, roll out individual sized circles, Put sauce, cheese, meat and veggies (whatever he likes on a pizza) on one side, leaving an outer edge. Fold the other half of the circle over and pinch the dough edges closed. Bake, and they are easily frozen and thawed as needed.
Misty – I think MountainMama meant work it into your family budget, not your business budget. You’re not going to be audited for how you spend your personal, non-business money.
Missceegee is right. I was talking about your personal family budget. We don’t get to write off my DH’s lunches either, but that would be nice! 🙂
The thermos can be a little challenging if soup isn’t high on his list! I’m still on summer fare so here’s what my thoughts are with thinking hot meals…
Pasta w/meat sauce (baked ziti)
Chicken, rice/grain, stir fry
Sausage, kale, sweet potatoes with little chicken broth
Beef stew
Peppers and steak with roll
Creamy chicken with rice/noodles and mixed veggies
I’ll post the granola recipe on the other food thread.
I tend to make extra at supper and send leftovers with my DH the next day. Fortunately for me, he doesn’t mind eating it cold. But, if your DH would prefer it warmed, you can use the thermos or I’m sure there is something else out there that would help keep things warm. Including an insulated lunch box. Tin foil helps to keep things warm.
You can make burritos and wrap them in tin foil. Also, breakfast burritos.
There is lots you can do with rice if you make extra. Last night we had an asian style rice, so I made extra rice and put some aside to add a can of beans to. That gave me 2 lunches. 1) Left over asian style rice. 2) Rice and beans.
My dh works construction, but I don’t think his metabolism is quite as fast as yours and I think my dh is a bit taller/heavier, but not by much. He packs his own lunch (and makes his own breakfast) but I will pack leftovers for him if there are any and if tha’t what he wants. I think he made a contraption for a microwave to heat up food, but it may have been stolen, not sure. He does eat a lot of his food cold, no matter what it is, and does make burritoes in the morning, wraps them in foil and sets them in the sun, LOL. Hasn’t gotten sick yet! But that’s just him, I would never do that!
We had the $$ issue for years, too. One checking account, two debit cards, two spenders, but only one person managing it all, ME.
He has a checking account/debit card linked to our family account that I deposit/transfer his “allowance” into weekly. Yes, he can go over it sometimes and has me transfer a little to his account, but at least I don’t have him messing with our family account. That drove me nuts! I was always having to rearrange it to account for his spending. I do think my dh should be allowed to spend, as I do when I know we have a bit extra, and I hate to take away simple pleasures like fountain drinks or whatever feels like a “splurge” to him (mine would be a used book, go figure). Anyway, this has worked out well for us and since I have the “main” debit card, I can always transfer $$ if I need him to stop at the store on his way home or whatever.
I would definitely look into a thermos. My dh uses one in the winter as he’s usually too hot to eat big, hot meals in the summer.
Hope that helps.
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