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One on one time
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I am curious about something. First of all, we are not new to homeschooling. This is our 12th year. We loosely follow the CM method, but not any one specific curriculum completely. We do history(Truthquest), Bible, Literature read alouds, poetry, composer, artist and some nature lore all together. The kids do science, Language Arts, math and independent reading on their own. My struggle is that they each still want one on one time with me. I am thrilled that they still want this and don’t mind at all. My struggle is how to get time in with each of them each day and still get housework, etc done. We enjoy doing much of our school together and really thrive on family studies, but sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to have them each doing their own thing. My youngest is 11 and I feel guilty that he hasn’t had as much one on one with me as his older siblings did. For those of you that have been at this for a while and have more than one kid, how would you schedule your days to accomplish what I describe?
Since you’re doing housework anyway, could you take turns having one of them do a task with you? You could chat, they could learn the skills if they haven’t. It might not be possible to be with each one of them each day, but some balance could be achieved. Maybe one could cook with you each night?
I, too, have three kids, but mine are now 26 (married), 22, and 11. So, a big age spread there! Neighborhood walks with one child at a time have been a good way for me to give them each time when the older two were younger and now with my youngest. Also with the older two, I kept a journal that we would pass back and forth as it occurred to us, where they could say anything they wanted to say and I was committed to responding positively, answering their questions, etc. (I have tried this with the younger one, but it hasn’t been as big a practice, possibly because she is not a lover of writing and also she would rather have actual verbal discussions.). While it’s not literal one-on-one time, it’s at least a form of relating privately.
I’m sure others will have great ideas to share. That said, I think it’s also important for kids to learn that we have our limits and need our down time, too. Especially if you’re an introvert (I am), having some time alone or at least without any demands is part of what helps you survive homeschooling, as I’m sure you’ve discovered after your years!
ETA: After reading the next poster’s reply, I realized that I may have misinterpreted your question. I wasn’t picturing the one-on-one time as schoolwork assistance but just personal attention, so my reply reflected that. If I was off base, feel free to ignore! : )
I have 3 children, 11, 14, 17 and they all still need me for some part of their day. The 17 year old the least of course. I give them each one hour, that is more than enough and they do not usually need that much time. And it is not usually all in one sitting. Ideally we schedule it, but most days I just wander the house stopping as each student needs me. I have a rule that my teaching hours are 9-3 so no one is allowed to ask for help before or after that, otherwise I would be helping at 9pm or even later with my oldest. I try very hard to protect those hours from outside distractions. Even appts. It is very tempting to schedule the dentist early to get in and out quickly, but I have to accept that when I do that my day is shot. I give 2 hours for family studies, an hour for lunch/literature and that leaves 3 hours for helping with independent work. I usually do chores in between, but if I do not get to a particular chore it is easily done between 3 and 5 when my husband gets home and I need to start dinner. We are absolutely not a family that sticks to a rigid schedule, but I do make 9-3 time for studies and nothing else. I dream of having set times for helping each child uninterrupted, but it never works out, someone always gets stuck and needs me. So I try to be fluid and just sort of float around. I do attempt to have one reading I do alone with each child so they get some quality one on one time. I wish I could be more help. I have been doing this 11 years and still dont have a good plan.
Alphabetika that is so funny, I totally took it to mean school one-on-one time, but after reading your post and re-reading the original post, now I think I was mistaken and you are on the right track. So funny. Sorry momto3blessings, didnt mean to complicate things. I do try to spend quality time with each child apart from school, depending on their interests. With my 17 year old son I try to make sure to drive him alone to his various activities at least once a week. We have great talks alone in the car. We dont have tons in common right now, but keeping communication open is a big priority. I make it a point to ask how is friends are and how his social events went, since that is what he is most passionate about right now. My 14 year old daughter likes to make up languages, so she is teaching me her new language, she also likes to shop so I do that alone with her every 6-8 weeks, budget allowing. She is NOT a talker, only talks when she has something to say – no small talk here. Since puberty she talks even less, figuring out how to reach her has taken some time, I have to find her interests and exploit them. My youngest is still into playing board games and being read to. None of these things happen daily of course, but I do try to be deliberate about getting to their heart.
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