Name: Thrive! NCHE Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-05-22T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-24T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Winston-Salem, NC

Tagged: fear, Lord's will, one child

This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 11 months ago by RichmondMom.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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May 26, 2011 at 12:16 pm
RichmondMom
Participant
Hello, I have just recently been introduced to homeschooling. My daughter is in a Montessor preschool, she is 5 years old. My husband recently changed jobs and we are quickly realizing Montessori is not going to be an option for us next year. I am now looking into our options and I am feeling extremely overwhelmed. I can see the benefits from homeschooling. My fear, however, is that even though I would be able to socialize my one child ….would she be able to build relationships just by seeing other children once a week via a co-op or a playdate? She seems to thrive when she’s able to see the same children. The public school she would attend in kindergarten only pulls from our neighborhood. There’s a part of me that would like to meet these families and the children. I keep wondering if we are being called to be salt and light in our neighborhood. We could have her classmates over for activities. I have been praying continuously. There are times when I find it difficult to breathe because I am concerned I will somehow make the wrong decision. I know that I will need to have very strong convictions to start and continue homeschooling – but I’m not there yet. My husband suggested trying public kindergarten for a year so I can continue to read and pray about homeschooling and to give us a chance to see how our daughter does in public school. I’m really struggling with these decisions and my fears both about public school and homeschooling. I keep praying the Lord will guide me either way. Would anyone care to share their thoughts?
May 26, 2011 at 12:58 pm
momto2blessings
Participant
Welcome! I know this is such a difficult decision. Only you, your husband, and the Lord can determine what is best! I’d just like to say that I don’t know a single homeschool mom who didn’t have fears when she started homeschooling. Myself included:) But I truly felt that’s what was best for my kids. We can learn how to follow God in our home, tailor the education to the children’s needs, not have them spending 8 hours a day away for K when it only take 1 or 1/12 hrs.!! Let’s them be a kid, and provides a superior education. I love the flexibility homeschooling provides our family. I honestly think it would stress me out more to put them in school than to teach them. We’re not early birds. We stay up later and start later. We can travel when we want, take off if hubby is home, etc. No homework and outside schedule we have to follow.
As far as salt and light to the neighbors, I won’t say that that wouldn’t happen. But I read an analogy once that really made sense to me. Sending our kids to pubic school to influence before they are fully devoted followers is like sending troops into battle without any training. They need to be trained up first, then our kids can be sent out. In the younger years they are more likely to be influenced negatively than affect others positively. Not that they can’t be positive influences, of course! But my kids play with the neighbor kids almost daily after school, in the summer….I don’t feel that I have to send them to school to be salt and light. I hope that didn’t sound judgmental. This is a personal decision for your family, I’m just sharing my own personal convictions:) Blessings as you decide. If you do decide to homeschool, this forum and curriculum guide is a great place to start. The moms are so helpful. And Charlotte Mason education is tops. If you can allow yourself to relax, you can enjoy short seatwork lessons, read great books, and enjoy nature together with lots of free time to pursue interests.
As far as having an only child, I have a friend who does and she just makes efforts to get her child out in different classes, etc. I struggle to not do too much with others…not the other way around!!! If there are neighbor friends, if you have church friends, extracurricular activities, your daughter will be just fine:) The need for full-day socialization is a myth. Kids don’t sit an talk all day at school…they’re supposed to be quiet a lot of the day!!! Blessings, Gina
May 26, 2011 at 1:01 pm
momto2blessings
Participant
Just one other thought. I have a second friend who also has an only child. She sent her daughter to a top-notch public school and ended up pulling her out to homeschool. Her daughter already knew how to read, etc. and the teacher was having her help teach the other kids! And some work was coming home that wasn’t her best work and mistakes not corrected. Her daughter is very social and likes being homeschooled. Just wanted to share a ‘success’ story:) Gina
May 26, 2011 at 1:04 pm
momto2blessings
Participant
Oh, I’m probably sharing more than you asked for! But a possible concern of sending her to K and then bringing her home is that she may resist knowing that her friends are at school and want to go just for that. If it were me, I’d commit to homeschooling for just one year and see how it goes rather than vice versa. You really can’t mess up Kindergarten:) Just my homeschool biased .02:) Gina
May 26, 2011 at 10:43 pm
TX-Melissa
Participant
Hi RichmondMom!
I wanted to chime in briefly that I homeschool an only child. He is super active and super social, and he loves homeschooling. He thought he wanted to go to school when his friend down the street started kindergarten. But after a semester of a once/week co-op, I haven’t heard any more about going to school. In fact I’ve heard him tell others more than once that homeschooling is great. I tend to be more of a home body, but haven’t found it too difficult to find him sufficient social opportunities. As I mentioned before he did not care for co-op, so we didn’t continue that. We do have a great homeschool group that has weekly park days and a homeschool PE program that is once a week. In addition to that he is involved in sports and I get together with moms of his friends as much as we can for play dates. At the moment he is playing with that friend down the street. Of course it is not without its challenges and we have had times of tears when folks couldn’t play when he wanted them to. But as he grows and matures, I’m seeing him becoming more content playing on his own during those times. He’s 8 now, and learning to understand that other people aren’t at his beck and call and that they have things going on in their lives too. Anyway, I could go on and on. 🙂 I realize that boys & girls are somewhat different, as well as personalities. But wanted to let you know that it certainly can work. You know your dd better than anyone else and will be able to seek out appropriate opportunities for her to make friends and build relationships. One of the most important relationships she’ll be building is with you, her mom. 🙂
Melissa in TX
May 27, 2011 at 12:02 am
Questa7
Member
Hi there,
I have recently been through a lot of the exact same thought processes you are talking about. Let me share the conclusions I have come to. Please keep in mind though that I am mom to an only child, who is four years old, and we are just about to begin homeschooling; so I do not have the weight of experience that many of the responses you will receive carry. One thing though–congratulations on having done Montessori school for a year! It is a FABULOUS system of education, and I am sure your daughter has benefited greatly. As I’m sure you know, there are lots of Montessori home materials, books, and supplies that are available, and you can easily continue to integrate a Montessori approach into homeschooling; it is quite compatible with the Charlotte Mason approach, if you were to choose to go that route.
We have been debating and debating how to best go about our son’s education for well over a year now. He is an extremely bright and intelligent child, but does have some issues due to a sensory disorder that make it difficult for him to operate in overwhelming situations. I have always wanted to homeschool, but worried that perhaps by keeping him home, I would be depriving him of necessary interaction and possible helping tools he would receive in the public schools (private is not a financial option for us, either; and frankly, if it were, I think we would still homeschool for the same reasons.) After much research and thought, however, we have decided that school would be a less appropriate choice for him. DS learns better in a one on one environment, without distracting sounds or visuals; he is very book-oriented, and learns quickly by memory, so CM methods are an obvious leaning for us; and like some of the others have said, I can’t imagine sending him to school for long days (which in some areas are getting even longer, for kindergarteners even), when his essential schooling should take no more than a few hours and leave plenty of time for books and enriching sensory play.
My son does need a lot of social exposure, so we have put a great deal of thought into that. Currently (we’re not “technically” homeschooling yet), he goes to church nursery, playgroup, library story time, and babysitting twice a week,where he plays w/the babysitter’s daughter. We also set up one-on-one playdates for him when possible. I intend to keep all of these activities in the fall, while also getting involved with the homeschool group I have contacted in our new city. It is a very large, very active group, with many different styles and types of homeschoolers. I am hoping that I can either find or form a group of CM-minded moms of little ones.
I’m sure that you will make the best choice for you daughter and your family. One thing I will say though, if I may–I am fully on board with the idea of a “trial” year. We are in fact considering the next year a trial year for us; although I am 90% sure we will continue homeschooling. I agree though with Gina that a “trial year” of homeschooling would probably be a better choice than a trial year in public school. If you do a trial year of homeschool, and decide to continue, great; or even if you decide not to continue, your daughter will undoubtedly be well prepare for public school after having been homeschooled for kindergarten. However, if you do a trial year in public school and decide to bring her home, you may find that it is much harder for her to adjust to being homeschooled than vice versa. But just my 2 cents also! You obviously love your daughter very much; I hope that you are able to come to the decision that you all feel best fits your family.
May 27, 2011 at 3:24 pm
RichmondMom
Participant
Thank you moms for sharing your thoughts and advice. It brings tears to my eyes to see the courage, determination, and trust in our Lord. I feel a sense of encouragement from you all because you have shared my concerns. I’m also grateful for this wonderful web site. I don’t know if it’s possible for a web site and its resources to be anointed, but it certainly seems that way. Many thanks to Sonya.