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Ok – I'm…. burnt out.
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Yup, it is September – we started school a week ago – and I’m burnt out. Well, honestly, I didn’t recover enough during the summer from my burn-out from last year.
We have been doing AO for the last couple of years fairly much as written, except for Canadianizing it… and it has been mostly great. My kids have enjoyed the books (mostly) and they have learned a lot. Some of the issues we had when I combined the kids before have disappeared. (Oldest felt dumb because younger sister was doing same work. She felt dumb as she couldn’t do things as well as he could. On top of it, if I was sick – nothing was done.) The problem??? Well, The oldest, Delta, has dyslexia, and so requires more of my time than I’d like. Echo, the next student, has mixed brain dominance – so needs extra help on handwriting etc. And this year my next student starts as well, and although she reads well – she can’t follow along with an audiobook – and I don’t think she can read well enough to do the readings on her own…. And then my next child wants attention too. ARGH!
I have been going back and forth on what to do all during summer (driving my dh crazy – although I go through this on one level or another each year. Do I try to combine kids a lot more (which I’ve done for a couple of things) and risk the same types of problems we had before? Do I try to find a totally different style of curriculum that maybe they can be more independant (say Easy-Peasy, or something else?) Do I just throw up my arms for a bit and try unschooling? How about that tempting yellow-bus (no – that isn’t THAT tempting….)
Oh – and no money to buy anything else either….
I’ve been jotting down notes today on a me-designed CM-family based plan…. I don’t know.
I think your “me-designed CM plan” might be your best idea yet. Things seemed a lot easier for me back when the kids were all 3rd grade-1st grade-1st grade. We were using a KONOS book to do unit studies, doing most things together (or at least working together at the same table), and life was busy but fun.
Then we moved onward to the middle/upper elementary years, and things got tougher, mostly because my middle child (DS now 15) was requiring a lot more time & having more behavioral issues in conjunction with autism. We had two or three increasingly tougher years. Things eased up a bit last year when he went to a special needs charter school, and my oldest (high school) was doing several subjects independently. She still struggles & needs help with math (plus we do history/geography and sometimes a literature read-aloud together), but most other things require a lot less from me. This year, my son moved over to live with his dad (he has needed a man to help keep him in order & teach him to become a man), so things are different still.
I think you are most likely moving through seasons, and as that has happened to me, I have pared down some things to suit our needs. For example, I have had to ask myself things like, “Will we suffer greatly if we do one less poet this year? maybe one less composer?” Or, “I would soooo love to still do nature walks, but–oh, well–if we only get a few in per season (maybe one in the winter), we’ll live.”
Perhaps scheduling a day per week (so you have a long weekend) for awhile would help, just for you to catch up on things or flat-out take a break for you-time. I’ve done that by taking everyone to the park, where I sit and read for awhile while they are enjoying their own time there.
It’s easy for me to convince myself that I can’t take a day off when I feel burned out or I/we will fall behind or end up having more work to do, but sometimes that’s just what is needed. That’s when I try to think of a time when I simply couldn’t avoid taking a “day off” and how that has affected me in the long run. For example, three times I have had to take a couple of “days off” (from the usual routine) for labor and delivery. I was not home to do the typical things. Did my two older stepsons still learn algebra? Yes. Was everybody fed on those days? Yes, they were. Did we manage to pay the bills, take baths, shovel the snow, watch a movie, take in the mail, or (gasp!) find time to go to the bathroom on those days? Yes, we did….even those who were not yet potty-trained…..and even mom.
Months or years from now, you are not going to look back and say, “Boy, I wish I hadn’t taken a day (or even a week) for myself back then. I’ve never recovered from that!” But you just might be able to say that you have recovered just a little from the craziness of a busy life, a busy homeschool.
Will pray for you.
Hey,
How about a “learn something” year (for lack of a better name)? I did this when my now 5 year old was diagnosed with cancer when he was 2 months old. My oldest two were in 6th and 5th. I had them pick a topic for science and another for history. Then they had to read (or listen to an audio book) and/or do something to learn about it. I monitored them to make sure they were making progress but did not otherwise participate.
Some of the topics I remember: these were for my hands on child
insects – he caught various bugs/spiders, read about them, kept them and fed them while observing them
WW2 – read the Hiding Place and did a project on codes used to communicate
Houdini – read a COFA book and then learned tricks and put on a magic show
Daniel Boone – read a biography and then learned various wilderness survival skillsFor my non-hands on child: he mostly just read (his best mode of learning).
For my younger two (ages 7 and 8 at that time): we just read whenever I was available.
Then in the time I was available and had energy, I focused on working with the younger two on their reading, math and writing and the older two on whatever they needed help with. It really minimized what I needed to do wtih them.I totally get the burnout as I’m in the midst of it myself right now. So we are doing something similar again.
My oldest just started college. My 2nd is doing HOD on his own (he’s 16). My next two (ages 13 and 12) have picked their own history and science for the year. My next three (ages 9, 7, 5) are doing Elizabeth Foss’ Could It Be a Storybook Year? idea. Basically I’m just teaching everything for them from picture books. Here’s a link: http://www.elizabethfoss.com/reallearning/2012/02/could-it-be-a-storybook-year.html
I really like the picture book plan since we can finish a few picture books a day and I feel like I’ve accomplished something which helps a little with the burnout feelings.Praying for you!
Rebecca
Not fun, ever!
Can I be honest? If it were me I would be leaning toward unschooling. I would do math officially, and work on teaching reading to any who need it. Then I would do monthly library trips to pick up books on topics of interest (we order ours through the computer and just pick up when they’re all in). Require the children to read/make/do something productive toward learning or chores for a set time every day. Then just see what happens.
Tristan what a wonderful idea. I may even use that for say December just to break away from it all. On my thought list for next year! This year is already to planned ?!
Some of the above comments remind me of a post I read on a blog somewhere in the past….
One mother did this during a trying season: she took her child to the library and instructed him to choose one biography, one novel, one “science” type book, and one how-to type book. That was the child’s curriculum until the next library day. She noted that it challenged her child to read books outside of his/her usual choices, and the child learned a lot of new things.
Oh, I forgot to add that I think a me-designed CM-family based plan sounds ideal. Especially if your dc can look at it as a team environment versus competitive. Find areas that the older can assist the younger to boost confidence. What are your reasons you love AO and see if you can duplicate them as a family. Just some random thoughts…
@suzukimom — ((hug)) I can relate to the burnout. And sometimes it just seems to linger and last far more than should be possible.
I really like all of the ideas shared. You could even combine a couple — do your “me designed CM” for certain aspects, but keep the library ideas for science and something else…like science and history — or even give them a general time period in history but let them choose the books or specifics.
We did the science thing for part of last year and it was waaaay better than me stressing out about something or feeling guilty about not __(fill in the blank with something to feel guilty about)__. And my kids learned some interesting things along the way and enjoyed taking ownership of those areas.
Just the other day my 8yo was asking me about a flower she saw and I commented that it was a perennial and proceeded to begin to explain how a perennial comes back each year…and she totally interrupted me and told how she knows that and how that’s different from an annual, and so on. I asked her how she knew all that (because I ddin’t remember it ever coming up before) — it was from some of those library science books last year. Who knew? lol
And I heartily endorse the idea of taking a *purposeful* day off (ETA: meaning, taking the day off on purpose). That is way better than staying at home feeling burnt out and apathetic and now guilty on top of it because at the end of the day you didn’t “get anything done” (because of course you were feeling burnt out, then apathetic, then…see how the cycle works? yep, been there). Actually *embracing* the day off is so much better — instead of guilt, you might just get a boost of energy from it! I’m projecting my own feelings here, so IDK if you can relate. I am slow to accept a day off…for some reason I often think it’s better to just trudge along, sinking deeper and deeper into the mire of burnout (and the guilt increases, etc, as that cycle continues).
Sometimes when I am feeling this way, what I need most is to just focus on enjoying my children again. Connecting with them individually and collectively, being silly together. Seeing the joy in their eyes and their love of life. For me, that’s what is often missing when I’m burned out.
You are not alone, girl!
“I am slow to accept a day off…for some reason I often think it’s better to just trudge along, sinking deeper and deeper into the mire of burnout (and the guilt increases, etc, as that cycle continues).
Sometimes when I am feeling this way, what I need most is to just focus on enjoying my children again. Connecting with them individually and collectively, being silly together. Seeing the joy in their eyes and their love of life. For me, that’s what is often missing when I’m burned out.”
Mysterious, I can completely relate to what you wrote here! Just yesterday, I decided to take the day off because even though we’re only 1.5 weeks into our first year of homeschooling, I could tell we needed a little break. I am so glad we rested and reconnected and laughed and played together so we could all catch our breath and start over again today. Today went much better because of it!
May I suggest looking into Lifestyle of Learning? Our family discovered this ministry back in April and it is changing our lives.
SuzukiMom,
You’ve gotten lots of good advice! I just wanted you to know that I hear ya! I’m with you in these trenches with a bunch of not independent learners! I get it! And I am praying for you. I was reminded that we can’t do anything that will make God love us more and we can’t do anything that will make God love us less. His love for us is an everlasting love. We can’t earn it or lose it. It is a gift that is not dependent on us.
Halelulah! That is FREEING! Somehow, I drive myself hard, really hard….and lately…I see that it is not all necessary!
Rest in Him, and take you eyes off all the doings (the doings will still be there, trust me!)…Wallow in His love for you and those precious children of yours. Practice that intentional gratitude for all those little things.
And I will join you in prayer for wisdom, b/c He promises in James, I believe, if any (wo)man lack wisdom, let her ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproof, and it shall be given to her. Don’t you love that part, without reproof…some versions say correction, some say condemnation. I hear…He won’t say I told you so. Haven’t you learned this already. None of that! He’s just glad we asked!
May He bless you with the wisdom that you seek, and the rest and peace you need.
Love,
joanna
James 1:5 – If any of your lack wisdom, let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him. (KJV) – [from memory – if I messed it up – sorry!]
I am really leaning towards Easy Peasy at this point…. and just go at whatever speed happens.
Great verse, suzukimom. I don’t really have anything to add to the wonderful thoughts that have already been presented here. I have only ever dealt with one kiddo and often feel overwhelmed with just him, so I can only imagine what all of you are dealing with. But I can join with you guys in praying for the stamina, perseverance and energy we need, along with His wisdom as we walk this road of educating our kiddos. What a wonderful thing to be able to join together and support each other through the interwebs.
Hugs to you all.
Melissa
Just one thing on Easy Peasy…while it’s supposed to be largely independent, I did not find it to be for my DD8 (at time I guess she was 7). There’s quite a bit of reading, & though she reads fairly well, she’d get tired. That was for the assignments & doesn’t include being able to read & follow the instructions for each subject (I.e. Click here, scroll down, read this story then respond to these questions). Some of the things included her needing to type in responses on an activity, but she didn’t know how to spell enough words correctly to accomplish that plus it took her forever to find the letters on keyboard for each thing she typed. There was difficulty too with her following the plans laid out simply because she would miss reading some instruction or clicking a link. Ultimately, I determined it would take a lot of me sitting with her to ensure she didn’t miss instructions or links, help her with activities that she didn’t have all the required skills for completing independently, etc, & I just didn’t feel in a place to do that so we dropped it. This doesn’t mean it won’t work for you just my experience put out there so you might see some of what it can work like with some kids & see if that might be like any of yours. Perhaps take the ideas others have presented & your own ideas then have each of your children try them for a period, identity what works & doesn’t for each child. They’ll still be learning during that & you might find they each do best with somewhat different things that take pressure off you. Then you can continue with what you’ve discovered works rather than feel frustrated starting something new to find it doesn’t work & trying to start again. If you do Easy Peasy trial period for say a week, two weeks, whatever, & it works well for one, keep him/her on it & try something else for other(s).
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