Ohhhhh – it's back!!! and socks

Welcome to Simply Charlotte Mason Discussion Forum Moms’ Porch Let’s Chat Ohhhhh – it's back!!! and socks

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  • Karen
    Participant

    I’m so glad to see the forum is back! I’ve felt lonely all week!

    I have a question for those of you with little children. My youngest daughter (and youngest child) is 5yo. She has no sensory issues that I know of. She IS a weak-willed (CM’s definition) child. She is the most-loving child…..and my most-hate-filled child, by times. She can be a pure delight and a pure terror, within minutes – it can change in a twinkle.

    Within the last month, she has decided that seams bother her. Seams in tights, seams in leggings, seams in sweatpant, seams in pants, seams in socks. None of her shoes suit her. She runs around our house with nothing on her feet and legs. (It’s winter here – and our house is warm, but not hot.)

    She actually chooses to stay home – all so that she won’t have to wear socks. Getting her dressed to go somewhere is TERRIBLE! I knew we’d have to leave early this morning, so last night I had her pick her clothes and her socks and her shoes. Then I bribed her (if she didn’t complain even once about her socks or her shoes, I’d give her a candy cane when we got home).

    It worked. However, I can’t go around bribing her for as long as this phase lasts, can I???
    I’ve tried the disciplinary things – swats on the backside, taking away privileges, extra chores, all that. Earlier this week she threw such a fit about her socks and shoes that I left her home (her dad was working outside) and told her she couldn’t watch any movies – she could only look at books. Her dad came in to find her on the couch calmly reading. She didn’t mind being left at home in the least! (And the rest of us were going to Good News Club, which she LOVES.)

    So, I need some suggestions, please!
    Thank you!
    And again, I’m so glad to see the forum up and running again!

    Kayla
    Participant

    My 5 year old daughter hates seams too, and has no sensory issues. We let her wear her socks inside out. She wears shirts a size big “so the seam doesn’t poke her!” In the arm pit. I sew most of her dresses so I make the armpit sit lower than standard. We live in Florida so 95% of the time she has flip flops on. But man getting her to put tennis shoes on the other 5% is terrible! She also wears her pants/ leggings really low so that the crotch doesn’t poke her. Seriously it is a battle that I have just decided to quit fighting.
    Buuuut I am not in cold weather and she really will be fine with out closed toed shoes. She does have boots (the fake Ugg looking ones) and I just don’t make her wear socks with them. They wash up great in the washer and dryer.

    Karen
    Participant

    We’re doing the inside-out sock thing. (Even with athletic socks, which is weird looking.) And that’s slightly bearable for her.

    I hadn’t thought of buying leggings a size too big…..I’ll try to get her to try on the older girls’ leggings and see if something will work.

    Thanks for the idea!

    April
    Participant

    My littlest would not wear any socks that had seams for years and we live in a state that is cold 9 months of the year.  I bought him seamless socks. http://www.smartknitkids.com/ That at least made putting socks on easier.  For shoes I would let him wear his sandals all year long.  In winter he wore them with socks he didn’t care that it looked odd.

    It took a while but he did grow out of it.

    retrofam
    Participant

    Our local Stride Rite store has seamless socks. For shoes, sandals were ok, and dd likes boots.   It did get better with age.

     

    I didn’t punish for it, but sometimes I did correct her whining and tell her sorry, she had to wear whatever we had. I was understanding and accommodating when possible.   Trying to stay calm is the hardest on your way out the door!

    Claire
    Participant

    My son had/has this same issue but not with sock seams.  I don’t know what it means to have “sensory issues” so I don’t know if he has anything official but it’s sure interesting what bothers him: lotions, soap suds, and any topical meds, hand sanitizer, seams and tags in clothing … but oddly not things like deodorant or toothpaste or shampoo?!  Go figure.

    Soap box time … I firmly believe once the children are old enough to dress themselves they are on their own to choose their style and their comfort levels – I let their freak flags fly high!  🙂  -I mean that in an innocent, silly way-  I’ve never heard of a child not finding some solution if they are in discomfort from weather.  Some kids just aren’t as sensitive to cold.  I always say we all have our unique features and there is nothing wrong with that in my book.  And I remind my kids that years and years ago we didn’t label everyone with an alphabet soup but we tended to describe the person in terms of being a person with uniqueness.  I understand there have been wonderful advancements that have made a world of difference in lots of cases.  I just take issue with all the “little” stuff our culture seems so intolerant of now a days.  I mean, face it, people are weird beings but we were all created in His image so we gotta deal with it and do so with grace and tolerance and a sense of humor.

    Maybe diffuse your frustration by documentation?  Take photos, ask questions, make up stories about why they’re doing what they’re doing – not wearing seams.  One day it will all seem so far away and we will want these crazy difficult times back!  Maybe LOL.

    Karen
    Participant

    Yes, Claire, my expectations of what this daughter will look like when we exit the house have sunk to new lows!!! I’m allowing any combo of colors/patterns/seasons, all in the name of getting out of the house on time and with clothes on.  *L*  And I’m bribing her!

    I guess my main concerns were that 1) I’m hoping this is a phase, not a should-see-a-doctor-get-her-checked-out thing; 2) that I’m not being a BAD mom by bribing her in order to get her out of the house; 3) she is actually choosing to stay home because of hating socks – which is weird, since she’s more out-going than the other girls.  So I’m hoping it’s not a thing where I should have her checked by a doctor.  She’s rather “normal” in other respects.

    retrofam, thanks for the idea of StrideRite , I’ll check them out.

    🙂 Off to prepare for tomorrow morning’s battle! *L*

    sarah2106
    Participant

    I have many friends who children can’t stand seams in socks, snug shirts, one friend her DD could not stand the feeling of underwear so she wore boys boxer briefs, my DD could not wear tights for a long time… I have my clothing choices that make me uncomfortable, like snug shirts on my shoulders make me bonkers. I think we all have our things 🙂 My brother only wear elastic waist pants until he was in high school. He could not stand jeans or pants with a waist band, he said they were so uncomfortable.

    My kids pick their clothes. My DD is very eclectic in her clothing choices, my sister can’t believe the combinations she wears but I think it is fun. My boys have been known to wear shorts over pants because they wanted to wear shorts but it was really cold outside. We live in the mountains/west and winters are cold.

    I would try seamless socks and let her wear sandals, even in the cold, if it gets you out of the house on time with out a fight. Throw a pair of soft, seamless socks in your bag and let her know they are there if she needs them. A friend of mine, she is an adult, she hates to wear anything but sandals. Even in the dead of winter, unless there is snow more than 1″ deep, she is wearing sandals. She just doesn’t like the feeling of closed shoes and socks.

    I would not rush to the conclusion that something is “wrong” with her. It could be a phase, or something that always makes her uncomfortable. If more things start to come up you could talk to a doctor about it, but over just one thing… I would just go with it right now and hopefully find a compromise.

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