Ladies I was looking for some help with obedience training. I have watched the Rails workshop and have been reading the book, but am not sure I am doing this correctly.
I have an almost four-year-old girl. I have started using a quiet, pleasant tone and expectant encouragement (i.e. “I know you can obey mommy.”) and usually she will, just very much on her own timetable — so much so, I don’t know that I would call it obedience at all.
As an example, I put her down for her nap (she knows she has to do quiet time if she doesn’t sleep). She came out of the room, to which I told her, “You need to go back to your room.” At this point she just stood there and looked at me. So as not to repeat myself, I pointed to the room and said, “What did mommy ask you to do?” More standing and looking. At this point I walked over towards her, took her by the shoulder and walked her to the room. Should I have done that? If not, what else should I have done?
She repeated this two more times and I repeated the same steps two more times. On the third time I repeated expectant encouragement and then when she refused to move I told her that if mommy had to help her to her room that I would spank her (not a big fan of spanking, but will do it if not in anger). So I waited. So she stood and stared at me. (yes, she is extremely stubborn) As I walked towards her she ran to her room, but I did give her a swat on the bottom when she had reached her bed. Much crying ensued, but believe it or not, we repeated the same thing again. She came out, request from mom, expectant encouragement, spanking, the whole thing. After that time she finally stayed in there long enough for me to declare quiet time over and allow her to come out.
This is just ONE example of many today. “Olivia please put the toy back on the shelf before we leave.” Stands and stares. “What did mommy ask you to do?” Stands and stares. “I know you can obey and do what is right.” Stares and the slowly moves to do what is asked. She is very much in control of these situations while I am barely holding on to my patience.
I would welcome any advice on how to do this more effectively.
Thanks,
Pam