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Not sure how to handle this…scared!
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Alright, I was hesitant to even put this up here, but after talking with dh first and thinking and praying for quite a while now, I just can’t seem to shake it. The thought that I am just NOT smart enough to homeschool through high school! I don’t know where else to go to get advice about something like this and I know that there are a lot of extremely intelligent and well educated people here. However, that also makes this even more difficult to put out here because of the embarrassment I feel about this. I have never been what what one might call an “academic”. I have A LOT of trouble understanding anything related to technology or the maths and sciences. I often have horrible bouts of extreme “fuzzy thinking” that, I am embarrassed to say, make me look like a COMPLETE ditz! I went to a very small private school that, in hindsight, did not do a particularly good job at teaching higher grades sujects. I did not go on to complete any post secondary education.
I want my kids to graduate with capable thinking skills and some understanding of all these things that I struggle with. I am not planning on forcing my kids to take the college route if they have another path that is also solid, but I want them to be able to have the option and to feel capable of the requirments and challenges. I am struggling with the thought that I am unable to help them to that end. I am SCARED! I start fighting tears every time I think about it. I am not contemplating putting them into ps. I don’t think I could help them any better in that situation either. But, what do I do? How do I give them this wonderful, rich, CM education right through highschool if I cannot actually HELP with anything, or UNDERSTAND the basics of these important subjects. Or sometimes even know the things to make sure they are not missing because I was either never exposed to it or did not have the understanding to retain it when I was?
-Miranda
I have thoughts like this occasionally too. And what my seasons homeschooling moms have told me is that if God is calling you to homeschool he will equip you! And you don’t have to know it all right now, you have time to learn even if that means taking classes one semester before you teach it at a local community college. Take it one year at a time, especially of the big pictures stresses you out.
Thanks Kayla,
My dh has said things along a similar line. And I am also trying to pray this through as well. I am just REALLY struggling with it! I do try to educate myself through a variety of means (not really classes as we simply do not have the funds for anything like that) and I struggle with understanding a lot of what I am trying to learn. It feels like a lot of these things are just beyond my grasp and I cannot quite reach it! If it were simply a matter of educating myself first, it wouldn’t feel so bad, but I have struggles with the actual understanding of material. Not to mention, the thought that if I have never been exposed to it, how will I know to even teach it in the first place, never mind even trying to understand it! If don’t even know something exists (things that it seems others DO know about which I then hear about through conversation and then need to go ask my dh about afterwards) how can I educate myself on it first anyway!
I think I will just really need to keep praying this through and really start forcing myself to trust that God will provide as the need arises. And you are right, I do need to take it one year at a time. Actually this came up when I started trying to plan out a bigger picture plan through the highschool years. So in a sense, I need to take it one year at a time while still being able to have a solid plan for highschool in advance! = o.
-Miranda
I’m not there yet, but I know there are a lot of college options for homeschoolers. My county college offers classes that give both college credit and a high school diploma to HS-age kids. You may be able to teach the subjects with which you’re comfortable, and supplement with technical/science/math courses when you get to that level. Or you may find a great coop by that time. Or God may just equip you to be able to handle it!
God will provide whatever it is that you need when the time comes! Don’t worry about tomorrow, sufficient for today is its own trouble.
I am absolutely not one of the “extremely intelligent and well educated people here” that you speak of, but I have managed to graduate my 3 oldest by the grace of God. During my childhood we moved a lot and it created a lot of holes in my education. Most of my later years were spent in a small country school. When I graduated I could not tell you what an adverb was, yet I was a Beta.
I hesitate to even mention what I did with my olders for high, because this is a CM board and we didn’t have a CM homeschool high. But for us, it worked. My kids did read a lot of literature, enjoyed nature, dabbled in arts and classical music BUT we used text books for science. Apologia talks to the child as if there is a teacher in the room, so I didn’t have to know chemistry for my child to have a good education in that area. We used Notgrass and Diana Waring’s history programs so they would get related historical lit and commentary like history lessons. I used 1 year of ABeka grammar that taught them very effectively, and 2-3 years of LLATL for high that gave a good foundation in lit study and writing instruction . I know that isn’t very CM but for a mom who never had to write more than sentence lenght answers in school I NEEDED something as a guide for my kids AND me. I got BJU math vids for highschool math. All of these are directed to the student and do not need a teacher.
Results: One son is a coder (and with all of his many physical problems I consider this a true victory), one is working on a phd in engineering and about to do research in France via a special program which few are ever a part of. Our daughter married our friend’s son who was hs educated with many of the same methods, and is also about to finish up doing time for his phd in engineering. I tell you these things not to brag—it wasn’t me. I hope that when you see that I am the least qualifed to ensure that my kids had a top grade education, yet it happened, you will be able to relax. God provided what was needed, and He will for you! 🙂
You are a good mama to be concerned for your children, and that (with God’s guidance) is why your children will succeed.
The beautiful thing about a CM education is that it is not about what the teacher knows. There are a lot of resources out there now for homeschoolers. If you are in an area with less available, there are always online things. It is fine to outsource things like math and science if you feel you need to. That is very different from handing everything over wholesale to the government.
Nebby
May I recommend investing in Teaching Textbooks for her math? I cannot do algebra and that is what my dd is taking this year. TT works out every single problem on all 10 disks for her in case she gets something wrong. It is a huge help to me! My dd is exactly halfway through the program and has not had a single question for me! And I would also like to agree with Nebby. A CM education is wonderful for her and perfect for you. Spread the feast, and help to learn how to find answers and you will have nothing to stress about. It is an interesting journey for her and I am enjoying it too! God will not leave you nor forsake you!
I am new to homeschooling too, and while I think it is wonderful to have long term goals, it is important to take small steps. At the end of each year, with your husband assess your successes in homeschooling and what you want to improve on. As the material becomes more complex, you can disucss other options if you don’t feel like you can offer the academic support your children need. There is private tutoring, co-op groups, community college classes, online classes. The options are endless.
And I think as you work alongside your children you will find yourself growing too. Nobdoy knows everything. Humility goes along way because you won’t be afraid of seeking out help and answers.
Here are a couple of encouraging helps….BTW, God is homeschooling your children through you. He is the Author and Finisher. He’ll lead you to the resources for your children and make it possible for you to continue to graduation.
Listen to this FREE download from Sonya. It’s not about your specific situation, but the way she addresses fear is expert help to anyone.
http://simplycharlottemason.com/store/lessons-from-the-valley/
another by Sonya:
http://simplycharlottemason.com/store/looking-past-the-fear/
Though not necessarily CM, Joanne Calderwood is very helpful in getting past the “can I homeschool my highschool children?” question. She was a great encouragement during our RC days…I older 3 finished their home educations with self teaching methods and it works out well if you utilize CM methods with a schedule and binder system, too.
http://www.urthemom.com/Home_Page.php
Praying these will help you.
Thank you for the encouragment, Ladies. I will keep praying through this. I am going into my 6th year of homeschooling and have never been scared like this before! I will just pray it through for now, I guess, and then take up the high school planning with dh again once I am feeling a little more solid maybe?? Thanks again for the encouragment.
-Miranda
This is all wonderful advice and so true. I just wanted to add one more point:
God didn’t create us to be independent – but interdependent. I am sure everyone who follows this forum can attest to the value of depending on each other’s shared wisdom and guidance.
Those real life and virtual relationships with other homeschoolers become more and more important as your children grow into their hs years and need teaching that may be outside your realm of expertise. There are tons of options for online teaching, but be sure to keep up your friendships with other homeschoolers. Often these moms (and dads) are skilled to teach in another area, and you can trade responsibilities to make sure your kids are getting a well rounded experience.
Blessings to you as you think ‘outside the box’!
Miranda,
I agree with so much said here! The fact that you are humble enough to post your concerns and seek guidance says it all. There is something available to teach any subject whether you feel capable or not. I would also say that by the time your kids are in high school, hopefully they are teaching themselves a good bit. That can be a goal as you homeschool, especially in MS. Also all the one day type options, online, video/dvd, swapping teaching with friends etc.
I would definitely encourage you to go to a homeschool conference every year that you can. I consider this my continuing education. It has helped me look ahead so that I can best prepare my dd for what is around the bend.
You care and love your children. Don’t underestimate what you can do, through Christ. I can attest that I am amazed at the curricula I have been lead to and the amazing times I have had learning along side my dd and teaching. I’m also amazed at what my dd 15 has learned and the wonderful faith and character I have been privileged to see grow in her.
Sorry, this is kind of scattered. Long day of cooking here! PSAT this morning for my dd.
CM wanted us to put our children in touch with the best of the best – authors who were passionate and educated on their topics – and then get out of the way. IMHO, this is a huge relief to the teacher! Find the most well-suited book on the topic and let the child go with it! Let her intereact with the author, argue, formulate, postulate, write and talk and ruminate. Then, put the book aside for a year or two and take it up again with more years and wisdom. See what she does with it then. Amazing stuff! (And frankly, could it be any easier?)
Also, read. Read these fascinating books for yourself. It might take a time of fasting from screentime before you (or your child) are able to begin really intereacting on a deep level with books. (Not a criticism, just something I’ve noticed. Screentime can often stimulate the parts of our brain which would inhibit us from having the depth of thought and time to really dig into and ruminate upon a Living Book.)
You can do it. Also, get materials which help you as much as possible. I too am a fan of Teaching Textbooks. My older two did them through high school. DD is now in Grad School (graduated with her BS Summa Cum Laude) and DS is in his first year of college and tested into Calculus after doing TT Pre-Algebra, Algebra, Algebra II, and Geometry.
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