not listening

Nina, remind us their ages, it makes a difference.  Without knowing that, here are the things that come to mind.

1. Bedtime happens in a specific order at our house.  Everyone goes potty, gets a last drink, and a hug.  Then they get in bed and stay there without talking.  We refuse to put up with getting out of bed, talking to us, etc.  Those are simply bad habits that have been allowed to go on.  This strict enforcement doesn’t happen with little ones, but by age 3 or 4 a child graduates to going to bed with the big kids upstairs instead of staying downstairs with boring old mom.  It depends on the child when we make the transition.

2. We turn on an audiobook, though on occasion I do read aloud in the hallway between bedrooms instead.  Either way they have a book to listen to.  They do not get to choose this, it is one for everyone.  Sometimes that means a book aimed at younger ages, other times one aimed at older.  Everyone also has a booklight and is free to read or look at books until the story is turned off.

Basically those 2 things eliminate the problems you’re mentioning (talking, asking questions, poking each other) because the kids are in bed, lights out.  If they talk or get up they lose the book light as their first consequence. 

It takes some gentle and consistent training to break the bad habits and replace with new ones and that is the hardest part! 

Just one thought that came to mind for me is that fidgeting does not really mean they are not listening. Sometimes, movement & fidgeting actually HELP them listen, as crazy as that might sound. My daughter, (6 & 3/4) has always interrupted with questions about the story, pictures etc. I always ask her to save her questions until the end because, chances are, her question will be answered if she listens to the story. She has made a huge improvement in this area. My son is nearly 2 so because of this age gap, I do their story times separately. Actually, hubby usually does bedtime with our daughter and I do it with my son since he still nurses. You may want to consider that because 2 years is still a significant difference when it comes to developmental interests. I know, books my daughter loves at 6 are not the same as what she loved at 4 and have longer story lines etc. So, if it interests your 6 year old, it may go right over your 4 year olds head and if it interests your 4 year old, it may be too boring or babyish for the 6 year old. So, maybe let the 6 year old stay up 15-20 min later so you can do separate story times. That will also prevent them from talking to or poking each other.