No support from husband

Perhaps your kids’ bickering is more a result of their seeing that you and your husband are not on the same page about things.  I’m not saying that the two of you are flat-out arguing in front of them, but kids will sense an undercurrent of what it going on regardless of whether it is visible or not. They might be picking up on the disparities between you two.

Having said that, I think you need to find a way to calmly and thoroughly explain to your husband why you have made these decisions about homeschooling and health so he at least sees your perspective on things.  Otherwise, it might just seem like a fad or hobby to him.  If your kids see that he will back you up on things, or at least respect your views, it will help them to understand how to properly handle conflict without constant bickering.

If it were me, I would first ponder and perhaps even write out your own philosophy of education–basically, why you have chosen to homeschool and why you do it the way you do.  Then, approach your husband as gently and encouragingly as you can to ask if you two can spend some time talking over these specific issues.  Remember, he is the guy you fell in love with, even if he leaves his dirty socks on the floor.

I would be specific about what you want to discuss and not just say, “we need to talk.” (That scares guys….actually, that blanket statement makes most people uncomfortable.)  Perhaps you could arrange to have the kids over at someone else’s house for a few hours to give yourselves the freedom to relax and talk.  It doesn’t have to be a tense debate.  It could be enjoyable, depending on how you approach it, just the two of you talking about people you love. Each of you wants the best for your children; you just have different ideas of how to accomplish it.

May I also just add that a Homeschool convention would be great if he would be willing to go with you!  Many conventions have things for the men!  I think hearing from someone else can help!  I am in constant communication with my husband about the “why” I homeschool.  He has always been supportive but I think most of the time he would send them to school if I said I wanted to.  He will tell me he is glad I homeschool and is VERY supportive, but I sense he needs to have his own “why”.  Our husbands need to be involved if they can.  We can encourage and pray for them and keep that “why” in front of them throughout the year.   Many times the kids will ask to read to him in the evening or tell him something they learned.  Throughout the day they will sometimes say, I can’t wait to tell daddy “this” or “that”.  I just received my Laying Down the Rails companion and I was showing it to my husband last night.  I was telling him it is so much more than academics.  He liked what he saw and he was excited.  Well, as excited as a quiet, man of few words, totally mellow and not very expressive husband can be…..lol  He can be totally excited and look the same! So funny!  We are all made different and are a great compliment to each other 🙂  God bless you and may God bring oneness on this issue!

Italy!  That sounds wonderful 🙂  And by homeschool convention, I don’t mean any specific ones!  They have smaller ones in my state (Alabama) and bigger ones further away for us.  Even the smaller ones have a breakfast for the men and wonderful keynote speakers that are for everyone and even some men that teach classes on things that would interest men!  Anyhow, conventions usually start in the Spring and run through the Summer, depending on where you are!   I feel you though!  I have struggled with feeling alone, especially a few years ago when I started!  He really just viewed it as all about education and that’s it and I think he wondered if I could do it 🙂  Hey, don’t we all…lol.  I think he wondered if the school system could give the kids more!  Now, he is very glad I homeschool.  I am hoping he can go to a homeschool convention in the next year to fellowship with other men and to see the “why” more!!!

Hi petitemom! My husband is supportive of my decision to homeschool because both of us had very bad experiences in the local public schools.

However, he does not get involved with homeschooling at all. It is purely my baby. However, he trusts me to give our children a good education and I am thankful for that.

You might find another homeschool mom to share your homeschool struggles with for the most part. I find it’s okay to vent to my husband a bit, or to brainstorm together to solve a particular behavior problem, but he would grow weary if I took all of my homeschool struggles to him. I prefer to discuss those things with fellow  homeschool moms who can empathize with my struggles and share advice and tips with me as well.

I guess this advice wouldn’t work very well if you don’t have any close friends who are homeschool moms.

I don’t say this to add any type of husband-bashing.

Our kids bicker a lot.  It’s something we always work on.   I don’t know if it’s b/c our oldest has special needs but that adds a layer of stress.  My husband does not read any homeschool info to hear that it’s not just our kids.  I try to share with him some experiences I read on here to make him comfortable that it’s not just our house.  But occasionally he’ll throw out the “social” card even though our kids are extremely social.  He tends to lean that they need fellow peers the same age.  I agree to some extent.  Anyway, it ends up being a comparing game to see where your kids fit which ultimately is pride.  So we don’t have these conversations often but enough that I sometimes feel like he thinks our kids are horrible and doesn’t see their good side as much. He gets easily irritated with their behavior whereas I keep plugging away waiting for fruit.  I hope that makes sense.