New baby help

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • February 1, 2012 at 11:12 pm
    ruth
    Participant

    As I buy stuff for the baby and as my stomach has gotten much bigger, my dd (2.5) is finally understanding about the baby in momm’s tummy.  She is now getting that in a few months there will be another person in the house.  She is now really clingy.  She has always had an independant, dertermined, and even defiant attitude, but now she wants me to hold her and be with her all the time.  I try to cuddle with her, but holding her is getting harder as I have gotten bigger and as much as I love her, I just can’t devote my entire time to her.  I didn’t have these problems with her brother when she was born.  He was 4 at the time and I don’t know if it was an age thing, a boy thing, or just a personallity thing.  He has always been more of loving, close child and when baby sister came he didn’t seem affected by it, but as I think about it, it could be because he was always clingy. 

    I am looking for some advice or tips on how to handle her reaction to the new baby.  I’m sure once the baby comes she will want to hug and kiss and help, but I also worried she will be competetive about the time I have to spend with the baby nursing, changing diapers, and such.  Any thoughts would be appreciated.  Thanks. 

    February 1, 2012 at 11:31 pm
    mom
    Participant

    I have a boy, girl boy. My first was clingy, second was independent…third – very active, independent, persistent…a LOT of character, fun…but very challenging. 200% boy! My daughter taught me so much about life in this whole process. I tried to play the “girl bonding” up and she came to really begin to show disdain toward *boy* babies. She is very quiet, creative, smart type and this little brother of hers stole any show she ever had. I had to really go out of my way to have “mom n me” time, tea parties, special game time, etc. Girls in general will have emotional times, where they just need reassuring you still love them and havent forgotten about them. I didnt believe it, but *middle child syndrom* is real! The oldest and younger get the attention. So I have found I have to make sure I seek out time for just her and I.

    The five love languages will help to give her the type of love she needs to fill her mommy cup. 😉

    Hope something here helps!

    February 2, 2012 at 12:11 am
    pangit
    Participant

    Get her involved with getting ready for the baby.  You can let her put clothes in the drawers.  Put diapers in the diaper bag or changing area.  She can get blankets ready for the baby, etc.  She can help get the babies room/bed area ready.

    You can also get her a special baby doll of her own that you give her when the new baby is born.  Then she will have her own baby to take care of while you are taking care of your new baby.

    I don’t know if you are having your baby at the hospital or at home, but you can try and make sure that when she first sees you after the baby is born that you are not holding the baby.  Let someone else hold the baby or lay the baby down in their bed.  Then she can get your immediate hugs and kisses and not feel like the baby has immediately taken Mom’s arms and attention.

    You can get some little gift that the baby gives to her when the baby is born.  And, the other way around, too.  Take her shopping to pick out a special gift for her to give the new baby when the baby is born.

    If any routines are going to change after the baby is born, try and change them now.  If Daddy will be putting her to bed after the baby is born for a while, try to have him start doing that now, etc.

    Also, if she is using something that will be the babies, remove it now so that she won’t feel like the baby took it from her.  Is she still in a crib and the baby will be using the crib, etc?

    I hope maybe one of these will help.  Of course, overall it is her needing to feel like she isn’t loosing your love or attention.  And, of course she isn’t.  The baby will take a lot of your time.  Maybe nursing time will be a snuggle and read a book time with her.  Every time you sit down to nurse, she can bring you a book that you can read to her.

     

    February 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm
    chocodog
    Participant

    I agree with pangit

       If you are getting to big see if you can sit on the couch and she can sit next to you. Wrap your arm around her and try to read a book to her.   

        I wouldn’t over do somethings because she will get use to the extra attention and if it is taken away then she will be disappointed and then feel like the baby took it away from her. Make sure you can keep up with whatever special time there is with her that you can contiue it even after the baby is born. This way it won’t be missed to much.

       Make her excited to hold the babyfor the first time. If you are not nursing help feed, and she can get you the extra stuff you need (burp cloth, wash cloth, clothes, (let her pick them out). Let her help you stand by and help you change the baby. handing you wipes, powder. lotion, diapers and have her open them up for you. Teach her how to swaddle the baby, “Happiest baby on the block”  video.

       My children loved to hold the baby as soon as they could. Of course, we stood by and told them that she needed to be held a certain way. We had to show them that she liked her head slightly raised. They did great with this. I even let them feed her a bottle every once in awhile so I could get ready to go somewhere.  I nursed so I would pump and let them feed sometimes.  My one son is very paternal when it came to this. Sure he held the bottle sometimes wrong but when she wouldn’t take it he said, “mom she wants you ” then he made the decision to give her up to me. 🙂 

        I didn’t have much problem with my children. Even my oldest son gave my youngest son rasberries at about 4 months old because he saw me do it . 🙂  I laughed so hard because I didn’t even know he could give rasberries since he wasn’t even 2 years old.  Don’t be to afraid to let them help you as much as you can. My oldest daughter is a wonderful mother. She went to someones house one time and burped the baby better than her own mother. This of course was said by the babies mother and another friend. So, whatever skills you teach your daughter now about taking care of the baby will stick for the rest of her life….

       When we are children we play house when we grow up we get to live it. Why is it we that we liked it more as children?  🙂

    February 2, 2012 at 9:48 pm
    ruth
    Participant

    Thanks all for the great ideas. I will definately put several of these ideas into practice.

    February 3, 2012 at 3:48 am
    Wings2fly
    Participant

    Besides preparing him for the other baby to arrive, I was sure to go somewhere special for an hour or two with my 2.5 year old boy after baby arrived. I was nursing the baby, and could get away only an hour or two, but we would go to the park or a special restaurant just me and my boy without the new baby and it was special to him. I think that helped him. I also had a gift for him at the hospital when the new baby was born.

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