neighbors/ unpleasent kids

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  • April 11, 2016 at 6:13 pm
    LindseyS
    Participant

    I could use some advice on a neighbor situation.  So we have a neighbor who has a very rude, disrespectful 5 year old boy.   The mom is ALWAYS asking if he can play with my kids.  My kids are 10, 13, and almost 15– so not really playmates for a 5 year old.  I think what she really wants is for them to keep him busy because she has no control at all. Last summer we had to start making sure the sliding glass door to the patio was always locked or he would just come into our house!  I thought about offering my oldest as a for pay babysitter, but If the mom took us up on it (which honestly I don’t think she would because I’m sure she doesn’t want to pay), but if she did, I wouldn’t want my daughter to actually babysit him– he has no respect for adults (called me a lair when I said the kids were busy today) so I’m pretty sure he would not respect her.  So my other option is to bluntly point out that my kids are really not appropriate playmates for her son….   We live in a townhouse, so while they are one building over, it’s still close living.  Any ideas on how to kindly point out that my kids are not interested in playing with her son?

     

    Thanks,

    Lindsey

    April 12, 2016 at 1:36 pm
    amama5
    Participant

    We have had that as well, kids coming into our house without knocking, asking for snacks, fighting physically with me when I tried to take toys they were hurting others with, etc.

    We also had the opposite situation, older kids always coming into our yard and being way too rough/abusive/inappropriate for the kids that were there.   I gave them warnings about how we speak in our yard/treat others in our yard, and they were finally asked to not come back.  It was really hard, neighbor drama is no fun.

    Just some ideas that might not be the best but are off the top of my head:

    Maybe you could just kindly let her know they are busy with school most of the time, or things a 5 year old doesn’t do, but set up one scheduled time each week for 30 minutes or something where they will play with him?

    Maybe you could invite them over sometime to minister to the mom, and let your kids know up front that they will be playing/entertaining him during those times?

    If you don’t want to do that, I think it’s fine to talk with her and just tell her they are having a hard time playing with a 5 year old as they are older and have different ways of playing/spending time.

    I’m sure others will have better ideas, it was always so hard for me dealing with neighbor issues every day, knowing how best to be kind and loving but have boundaries.  (the mom’s included!)

     

    April 12, 2016 at 2:50 pm
    Silvia
    Participant

    I like to be polite but also straight to the point. I would just nicely explain that the age difference make hard for the kids to enjoy the same play/acivities, and would give her an option of go on Facebook or Meetup and try to find groups of parents looking for playmates to children of that age. Simple but solve the problem. If your neighbor doesn’t like the solution there’s no much what to do, is very hard to control peoples feelings.

    April 13, 2016 at 9:17 am
    retrofam
    Participant

    I am not good at this,  but I have seen that in our neighborhood if the Christians don’t attempt to be part of the solution,  within ways that their family can handle,  then these at-risk kids become the teenagers who end up stealing,  etc. and causing trouble in the neighborhood.

     

    It is very difficult,  because we are not responsible,  nor do we have the authority to raise the neighboring children,  but we are called to love our neighbors, and share the gospel.

    I like the above idea of a once a week 30 minute playdate or the babysitting him while the adults talk to Mom or some sort of limited,  scheduled play time.

    Another idea is to have a weekly family Bible study with them(Mom and son).  That way your children aren’t stuck in another room with a child who doesn’t accept discipline.

    Praying you have peace with your decision.  Like I said,  it’s tough and not my gifting.

    April 13, 2016 at 9:22 am
    retrofam
    Participant

    I forgot to add that we have rules that neighborhood kids have to abide by, or they get sent home. If they continue to disrespect our rules,  they usually stop coming over on their own,  because they don’t want to be where there are rules they don’t like.

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