Need Help with Ideas for Developing Habit of Obedience

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  • November 22, 2015 at 12:33 am
    butterflylake
    Participant

    I would like some suggestions on developing a habit of obedience with my DS6. He has a habit of ‘ignoring’ instructions, or changing the subject when he is told to do something. For example, today we were at the post office. I was in line and he was looking at the cards and such that are for sale. I called him over to me, because I wanted him to do something for me so I wouldn’t have to step out of line and he ignored my request to come to me.
    Often times, when I tell him to do something he will just start talking about something totally different.
    It feels like I spend much of my time reminding him of what he is suppose to be doing, or what the consequence will be for not obeying.
    In the past sticker charts have worked well to develop habits and reward behaviour.
    I am having a hard time figuring out how to apply a chart to this. I want him to develop the habit of listening, responding verbally in a way that acknowledges he understands the request, and acting in prompt obedience.
    For those who use charts, do you only reward, or do you penalize for disobedience?
    Sometimes it is easy to get him on track – this evening when I told him to put on his pjs he began talking about his toys. I responded that I’d be happy to hear more after he got changed. He was quick to obey.
    Other times we go for ages. Yesterday I asked him to complete a math sheet. He would not do it for the longest time, then finally he comes to me and says it is finished. I checked and sure enough he had completed it in record time, and must have done most of it in his head. All that wasted time for something he could have easily finished within 10 minutes.

    Ok – I would love to hear your words of wisdom!
    TIA
    Vanessa

    November 22, 2015 at 4:38 pm
    Tristan
    Participant

    One possibility for obedience depending on the child is to begin with them having to be right with you all the time.  As they show you they will answer verbally when you speak to them and they will obey what you ask they begin to earn more freedom/distance from mom.  So, for example, any and all trips to the store, post office, etc, have your child staying close enough to touch you. They aren’t free to go look at the card display.

    For the talking about something unrelated I think you are on a good track!  Bring them back to the point, “I would love to talk with you about that AFTER you ______”.  And then be sure you DO talk about it once they’ve obeyed.  (Keeping your word is huge!  And as moms it can be easy to get busy and forget to do what we said we would do in these small instances.)

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