Need help with attitude, and also long lessons

I have a 9yo.  He does maybe 10 minutes of math drills on the computer and only 20 minutes of math in his Math-U-See Gamma book.  We use a timer, and when he it goes off, he is done.  He started that book last year in grade 3 and we are finishing it in grade 4.  That is okay.  It doesn’t matter how many problems he does to me.  I’m just concerned that he gives it his full attention and does it correctly.   Math is exhausting for young children and finishing the program by such and such a date will stress mom out too.  My suggestion is just to make the lessons short.  I think everyone will be happier.

My daughter doesn’t show any interest in public school for the academics, but for the socialization. So, I have let her know that she may socialize till her heart is content once her school work has been taken care of. period.

I belong to a few groups that always has activities going on and she has several friends that go to public school that she has over when they have half days etc. if she is caught up with her lessons.

We do Teaching textbook math and I have her  correct any problems she missed from the day before and then complete one lesson, which is usually 20-24 problems. It takes about 30-45min.  There have been days that is has dragged on and on those days I ask her if she wants to leave it for tomorrow to complete knowing she will then be doubling up. Sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn’t. There are some days that we all just don’t feel up for something, which is why I give her the option, but I can’t let her cut a lesson short or each day she will push for shorter and shorter lessons etc. it is just her character to do so.  Only you know your daughter’s character….  I will do the same for any lesson my kids seem to be having troubling dealing with as long as they realize that the work will be done and once a deal has been made, then they can not go back on their word, short of death of course. LOL  I even did some research and found that most of the public schools around me were assigning between 30-50 problems and those not completed in class were homework.

I also had my daughter talk with several public schooled kids and when she found out that they aren’t going to each other’s houses every day after school like tv shows imply, she has since dropped the interest in public school.

I however have a standing rule in my home that until school and chores are complete, there is no free time or electronics.  Now, I do allow them to play legos or dress dolls etc. while I read from a novel or a history reader, but that is about as much fun as it gets.  So this motivates them to get up and get things done, but it took me a while to learn how to stand firm and make it be the normal rather than the want I want for our home school.

My daughter has kept a rude attitude on some days and she would then spend about 15 minutes sitting on the porch by herself and then she would be asked to join us. Any work she missed while on the porch she was required to make up on her own, this more than anything caused her to come back and change her heart for the day, but not always.

I mean truly, if your daughter behaves rudely and you give up and put her into public school, then you have reinforced in her that if she treats people ugly then she can get her way. So, I would let her know that the attitude she gives you every day isn’t helping her case to go to public school if in fact that is what she wants and that as long as she continues to behave in that manner, you aren’t even considering thinking about public school as an option. If she can show you that she can truly behave properly and control her emotions etc and can give you logical reasons why public school is a better choice academically, then you will consider discussing it, but not until then. This way, the ball is in her court and you aren’t being unreasonable. She of course is too young to logical argue such points and she is too young to know that she isn’t old enough to make such decisions, thus you have several years before your words can be met and by then, you life may be such that it may be an option. One never knows what the future holds for any of us.

I hope this helps, even if just to let you know that you are not alone. Homeschooling doesn’t mean our children automatically become these sweet mild mannered obedient children. In fact, my goal is to teach my children to think for themselves and not be sheeple or obedient robots, so I should rejoice when they push the envelope every now and again, right?

God Bless.

Makayla – which Ginger Plowman book are you referring to? I have “Don’t Make Me Count to Three” but with your description I am wondering if it’s “Heaven at Home?” Is the fridge item the “Wise Words for Moms?” I have a sulky 9 year old boy and we are clashing more and more. I don’t know how to reach him, or really, his heart 🙁

I think 9 is just a tough age. For some (not all) they are getting into hormone changes and pre-teen… stuff. Hal and Melanie Young with Raising Real Men describe it very well (I was listening to one of their talks totally blown away – I am not alone! It’s not just us!). School is a battle each and every day it seems, and it’s exhausting! Even with what I consider to be a pretty light schedule. Family and friends tell him how easy he has it, how they wish they could be homschooled… it falls on deaf ears. My son does better with a checklist, so he can see what all he needs to get done. It has greatly reduced the “Are we done yet?” questions. And he knows if he gets this this and this done, then he can go play Legos, football, do a puzzle, read on his own, etc.