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Need help… discouraged
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I am really struggling with homeschooling! How do you know when it is time to put the kids in private school (not public)? There is just too much to do (academics, meals, housework, appts, the list goes on and on) and I find it very depressing to be alone with so much work.
Oh, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way — just know you’re not alone, and we all feel like this some (or most!) of the time.
I would just encourage you to start striking things off your to-do list: pare down to the basics in every area.
Meals: one meat, one veg. (or however you choose to simplifly – maybe by buying a convenience item or two or more). Switch to paper plates (or even disposable silverware and cups, too). We use paper Saturday evening and all day Sunday and on days when I’m feeling stressed. The cost adds up (but we don’t have a dishawasher, and my husband encourages me to use paper) but it’s so worth it!
School: math and reading. On some days for us, Buck Denver What’s in the Bible dvds are history (we’re studying ancients this year). And Charlotte’s Web is sometimes Literature (!) (again and again!)
Cleaning: give the kids some chores (and don’t stress over their imperfect jobs) or just vacuum on one day each week and call it good enough. I do FlyLady’s bathroom swish and swipe (with the hand towel and then get a new hand towel) while I brush my teeth. Sweep the kitchen floor, have a kid spot mop and call it good.
Laundry – make the kids do it and close your eyes to their messy folding and messy drawers and closets.
Appointments – you gotta do what you gotta do. More than that, say NO! (well, say it nicely
)Is there someone you can ask for help? friend? mom-in-law? sister-in-law?
I pray that this feeling will pass soon! It’s no fun.
Oh, and I’d encourage you to take a nap! it really helps, even if it’s only a 15 minute rest.
Thank you… haha, your post kind of made me laugh, Karen. Just made me feel like maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem. I also think we might need to change curriculum? We are doing Bible History & practicing manuscript but my 7yo is interested in American History and wants to learn cursive. Should I switch those things? I don’t know that our math and reading are a good fit either. I can’t just keep buying more and more curriculum though! Also can’t seem to squeeze my 5yo in and he is way more eager for lessons than my 7yo. They also really, really need PE and I can’t seem to simply get them outside to play some games with them. I really do not like cold weather!
Getting the kids up and off to private school is a lot of work too, as well as fitting into the school’s schedule:)
Changing curriculum is cheaper than private school and cheaper than therapy if mom is feeling crazy:)
I am a curriculum junkie though, so take my advice with that in mind. I feel like a financial failure, but I am learning a lot about my children and finally feel like I figured out my kindergartener.
To fit her in, I try to do her work early in the day and keep lessons very short. I am always looking for natural opportunities to teach her about her world as they come up.
Homeschooling is difficult, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My son says I am a “lifer” who wouldn’t even consider other options.
Hang in there and make sure you get breaks now and then.
I also think we might need to change curriculum?
We are doing Bible History & practicing manuscript but my 7yo is interested in American History and wants to learn cursive. Should I switch those things?
What are you using for History? It might be worth changing, but I’m sure you will want to do the other time period at some point anyway – so I’m not sure I’d change that.
For handwriting, I’m using ‘Penny Gardner’s beautiful Handwriting for Children’. It is an italic style, and the ‘print’ version and ‘joined/cursive’ version is done similarly so the one leads to the other. There are people that do cursive first, so you could teach cursive now if you like…
I don’t know that our math and reading are a good fit either. I can’t just keep buying more and more curriculum though!
What are you using for math? Why isn’t it a good fit? Did you know that there is a fantastic FREE math curriculum available called MEP math? (well, you do have to print the pages….)
What are you using for reading? Why isn’t it a good fit? How are they doing at it? There are a few free options out there too… as well as a blog with information on how to teach reading the Charlotte Mason way without buying anything….
Also can’t seem to squeeze my 5yo in and he is way more eager for lessons than my 7yo.
Simply Charlotte Mason would have them doing a bunch of it together. Even so, how long is school taking for your 7yo? It shouldn’t be more than 1.5-2 hours tops for you 7yo, and probably only about 30 min to an hour for your 5yo…. If your day is taking a lot longer than that, you may need help from us to see how to cut that down.
They also really, really need PE and I can’t seem to simply get them outside to play some games with them. I really do not like cold weather!
Problem here too…. although I can probably safely say it is colder where I am than where you are….
Wondering before paying tuition for private school, could you afford a housekeeper once/week or 2x/month? A babysitter to come one afternoon every 1-2 weeks may help as well. Also, are there any once/week homeschool enrichment days in your area? These suggestions are all for if your budget allows it. Our budget doesn’t allow for those things at this time, but if I had additional responsibilities beyond my control , they would be 1st to add to the budget if we were able to do so. I only mention them here because you mentioned considering private school, and these things would be in lieu of private school tuition.
It may be more overwhelming for you in this season of life where your children are still at very dependent ages academically and with taking care of themselves. In a year, your children should be able to do more chores and your 8yo should be more independent in some school subjects. For now, accomplish your 3R’s and add in all other subjects as able according to your priorities. Instead of doing history, science, PE, music, and art; consider rotating them each term or semester. I used to babysit for 5 young homeschooled kids one afternoon/week for the mom to get shopping done. Some weeks, she just went to her room with a book and locked the door while I looked after the kids. Some weeks, she cooked suppers for the entire week while I ran around the kids outside. At that time, her mom paid for a housekeeper to come 2x/month. As her children got older, she had babysitters less and quit the housekeeping service. She also had simple meals, with the older ones making breakfast or lunch for the youngers when they were able.
I try to have simple meals, I don’t clean as often or well as I should, I do the 3Rs 1st and anything else as able (I don’t get to it all all the time), and I don’t have much else on my plate right now besides homeschooling and housekeeping. When my children were K age and below, it was much more stressful then.
I’m sorry you’re struggling. It is rough at that age when they’re not very independent yet. It will get better:) My kids are in 6th and 9th. After much prayer and consideration we decided to have my eldest attend high school at a small, rigorous Christian school this year. The jury’s still out on whether I’m happy about the decision. It is nice having academics off of my plate and the staff and administration are wonderful, Godly people with high expectations. But it’s not the relief in time I thought it would be. And there’s many negative social aspects, even at a Christian school.
I miss not being able to stay up late and occasionally watch a movie on a school night. I miss taking vacations during off season. There are time pressuresbsuch as tonight I had to run dd to library for school assignment and handle emails for her orchestra fundraiser. I’m required to serve 2-3 hours a week to obtain financial aid. Car time driving back and forth to school. Making lunches and rushed breakfasts(for dd). Homework.
I’m surprised and saddened at the brokenness in so many of the kids lives….self-hurting, drama, etc. Your kids are younger of course, but my friends daughter had much social stress in 4th grade at a Christian school.
I’m not one to say school is never the answer….each family needs to prayerfully consider. Just wanted to pipe in because I know school can sound like a relief when stressed, but also adds new stresses:)
I would try some of the suggestions above and simplify as much as possible. Your kids are still young and it’s such s blessing to be home with mom and save the busyness for later. Just my .02:) Blessings, Gina
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