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Need guidance on priorities
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I’m looking for some guidance on how to fit everything in, ie: housework, school work, wife work, church work, and still have time left for hobbies and interests, maybe even “callings”….. I have a few things I would like to pursue, some that maybe God is calling me to-still figuring it out (music leader at our church) but I have found there is simply no. time.
I have an almost 9 yr old and a 15 month old. I do not work outside the home, but we do work as a family a couple times a week at my husband’s 2nd job (church janitor). Between house work and school work, I’ve got nothing left for what I want to do. I’m not trying to be selfish, I am just looking for a guide in how to re-allocate chunks of time…
I can say for certain that I waste a lot of time on the internet. I know that is a starting place, but I need to know what’s next. I turned off my computer, now what? I get so overwhelmed with the long list above, I don’t know where to start.
I am going to start another separate post about how to transition our children to doing more independent (school)work. Right now, I do everything with her except math, which is Teaching Textbooks. If she was a little more independent, I could get more of my (house)work done…..
In the past, I had housework chores scheduled out a little bit each day, then I kind of sunk into a depression-ish funk and lost habit training I was doing on myself. If I can get that system up and running again, that would help too. But I still feel like I’m floundering.
The things I want to do are read books, sew, knit, and re-learn the piano. If I could touch those 4 specific things on a regular basis, I would be so thrilled.
I feel quite silly posting this, honestly, because it just feels inconsequential. So many other women are just trying to survive their day, and here I am posting about my sewing machine and knitting needles gathering dust….
Really, if there are just some tips out there in this type of time management/priority setting, or books or blogs to read, I would appreciate any direction you all could offer. “Time management” is such a big concept, I just didn’t know if perhaps there was a resource of some sort out there more specific to what I’m talking about here…
Note, I do realize there are seasons of life and maybe some of my hobbies and interests will need to wait. But my general question is still just basically, what are some time management tips as homeschooling moms with things on your plate.
I think the first thing is to settle it in your heart that you are first of all wife and then mother…helper to your husband with the chief opportunity and responsibility for helping him in teaching and caring for the children. Those are your highest callings in life. Don’t let anything, including church work, compete with that. Part of that will be keeping enough margin in your life to do what you need to do to rejuvenate and remain at your best and fittest for this mission, and for the kids to have growing time and not be always jumping through hoops to get to the next appointment. Only you can decide if and where those ambitions you mentioned fit. There will be time for other things if you get the priorities right. It may be now or it may be later in life. And if there really isn’t time, then you will be even more glad you got the priorities right. If you put the big rocks in your jar first, there will be room for several smaller ones too. But choose carefully. Choose first the ones that will benefit your family most and help keep your focus at home. I pretty much gave up the hobbies you mentioned with my third child. Now I have been blessed with a seventh! It’s been well worth it! Maybe I’ll take them up again… Or maybe I haven’t given them up, but they’ve taken a different form. I encourage my children in music, though I don’t have much time to really teach them. But I do find ways to help them teach themselves, and I provide instruments and an enthusiastic audience. And so on for sewing and crafting…
Agreeing with Anniepeter.:-)
I will say that it all depends on your husband. If he has the time and the inclination to help with the kiddos so that you can pursue your own hobbies and ministries outside of the home, then go for it!
It’s also a possibility if you are able to get trustworthy childcare. Otherwise, many of us have laid aside our personal, church related, ministries and hobbies to pursue the ministry of serving our families. It is for a season in life that will be over all too soon. My youngest is now 14 and I am so glad that I have poured my life and time into my family. My children may not be living in my home for too many more years and my season of mothering full time will be over before I know it. Then I will have plenty of time for church ministry and hobbies and I will have no regrets about pursuing those things in their own time.
I remember when my oldest was 9! I also remember being so concerned that she wouldn’t do any school work by herself. And now, 5 years later, she does her math alone (for the most part), her history reading, handwriting, spelling, etc.
So it will get better. I would encourage you to be patient. As your children age, they’ll do more housework (if you make them!),and you’ll gain a little timethere.
I have noticed that my younger children are somehow more independent – I guess from entertaining themselves while I did school with the older ones? I don’t know. Anyway, now that my youngest is 6yo, I can make (notice the action verb there!) time for sewing and playing the piano. It does involve choices, but I do manage to carve out time for hobbies.
Reality check- right now I’m getting more sewing done because I’m sewing doll clothes as Easter presents…….and I’m not practicing the piano near as much as I should. And suppers are one pot meals. And my 8yo washes the lettuce for me. And I’m asking the girls to do all the laundry. So you know, it goes in spurts.
*sigh* Thank you for writing this. I’ve been struggling with this myself somewhat. My problem is the computer – I waste far too much time on it. My “excuse/reason” is, it’s my mental break. We have two kids with special needs, and while my son’s are progressively getting better, my daughter’s have been getting worse, and it’s been mentally rough. So I find the computer allows me a “mental break” – time to zone out and not do anything that really requires much mental effort. But, it’s also amazing how quickly that “20 minute break” turns into an hour.
I’m realizing that a lot of it is also discipline. I am not very disciplined with time management, so I’ve been trying to pray about it and focus on that for Lent. It’s a struggle.
For myself, I would like to see myself playing and praying more 🙂 More time with the kids, and more praying/devotions. I think the thing is remembering our priorities:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Children
4. House
5. Everything elseSo, what I’m trying to do is order our day, in accordance with those priorities. Pray first. Tend to anything dealing with my husband next (ex. get his breakfast, pack his lunch for work etc). Then tend to the children and myself (showers, breakfast, getting dressed). Then tend to the house (get our chores and cleaning done). Then, I can focus on everything else: which here means school, errands, my work (I’m a columnist for our newspaper), playing, “me” time etc… I’ve even written out a small chart for myself to try and keep myself focused, with a daily routine I try to follow, M-F. Hehe, weekends are more of a free for all.
Another thing I’m trying to do is go to bed earlier, and get up earlier. Getting up earlier allows me to be more productive, and start my day with my husband, it also gives me a bit of “quiet time” before the children get up. Going to bed earlier just helps me get more rest. DH is a natural night owl, and thanks to that, I/we had fallen into the habit of laying down around 10:00 pm to watch tv, falling asleep on the couch, then we’d wake up and go to “bed” around 12:00 or 12:30 am. I mean on one hand, sure we’re laying down resting, but it’s not the same as a good deep sleep. So I’ve set a new goal of an 11:00 pm bedtime.
So, I guess I don’t have a tonne of advice, other than – you’re not alone. I would though perhaps try and make yourself a visual schedule with a general routine for your days, that is set to your priorities. I’ll see if I can figure out how to share mine. As far as getting to all your “wants”, what about rotating through the season? Focus on one thing, per season? Summer is nice for sewing, and fall is great for knitting (too warm to knit in the summer, lol). Doing them in that order would allow you to work on projects that could be given for gifts come Christmas. Then you could spend your winter/spring focusing on reading and piano.
ETA: As for the house work, I find it helpful to a) give my children chores to do b) have a set “chore” for the day
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