Name: Thrive! NCHE Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-05-22T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-24T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Winston-Salem, NC

This topic has 11 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 10 months ago by Sue.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)

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May 30, 2018 at 2:01 pm
CrystalN
Participant
I am hoping someone will have some experience/advice to offer for my soon to be high schooler. This is my child whose gifts and talents do not include academics. He gets by just fine, but has no love of books or academics. He is a people person and has a fabulous gift in that regard. He has no idea what he wants to do after high school so this makes my choices more difficult. I would love to tailor his education toward his goals, but he is yet to determine his calling. Since he isnt sure, my plan has been to just ground him in faith and try to keep the doors open. All of our studies have had heavy worldview and apologetic leanings, so that wherever he ends up he can stand up to lies of the world. Sooooo, after all that background info here is my current struggle. He is an auditory learner all the way. I think his comprehension is adequate when he reads, but his lack of interest seems to thwart his retention. When I read to him we are able to have meaningful discussions, but when he reads on his own he reads quickly and then I get a lot of “I dont know”. I have no trouble reading to him, I enjoy the discussions, but I certainly dont want to be a crutch and make college impossible because he has had no practice learning on his own. How do I balance this? What is more important? His leaning the information, or learning how to learn? Should I read the “important” stuff with him and then let him practice with less important subjects? Do I assume when something is meaningful to him he will step up? I am so uncertain. I dont want to make life easy for him, but I want him to leave my home grounded and capable. Any brilliant insights ladies? So currently I am planning to use the following materials for 9th grade.
SCM Early Modern (using parts, read on his own)
Starting Points (using parts, read together)
Masterbooks Geology (on his own, mostly video)
Teaching the Classics (mostly for me)
Lost Tools of Writing (together slowly through multi grades)
Rosetta Stone Spanish (over two years)
Spelling Wisdom/ULW
Math U See Pre Algebra
any advice, comments, suggestions?
May 30, 2018 at 2:47 pm
alphabetika
Participant
I’m not being snarky; this is a genuine question: If he has no love of books or academics, are you certain he’ll be going to college? That might affect what he does in his high school years academically.
May 30, 2018 at 5:11 pm
CrystalN
Participant
I dont think you are being snarky. There is a very good possibility he wont go to college. And if he does it wont be straight to a 4 year. I just dont want his not going to be because I never taught him to persevere and do hard things. If that makes sense. I would love to tailor HS to his interests, but currently those pretty much include church and electronics. So how do I set him up for success when I really have no idea what success will look like for him?
May 30, 2018 at 6:44 pm
sarah2106
Participant
I think if it was me I would do a mix. Some subjects require him to do the reading and be a bit more independent and other subjects continue to work with him. Keep communication open with him and let him know why it is important even if he does not like it that much. Would he do better if some subjects were outsourced, to an online class or similar where he has to be accountable to someone else other than you? Does he have a desire to work, as in part time work? That can be a motivator for some kids.
I just heard a speaker talk about how easy it is to just say “my child will not go to college, tech school…” and then late in highschool they find their passion and ready to go but not prepared at all, so I think it is good that you are preparing him for all options.
My husband and I both went the tech school route. My husband did not have a love of academics, the extras and all that (and I could not decide on a major so tech school was a better fit for me as well). We both did great at a tech school instead of college because it was focused training. Does your son have any interest in something like that as an option? If he sees other options maybe it would help him find something that interests him which encourages him in school, that said some are just not love of academics and that is ok, as long as they know sometimes they still have to do it 🙂
May 31, 2018 at 7:56 am
Tristan
Participant
A couple thoughts – as an 8th grader (heading into 9th grade) I had zero idea what I wanted to do after high school. And I loved school and all the academic things. Children change, mature, and grow so much in the teen years, so whatever he likes now may intensify or turn 180 degrees before he’s done, and then turn again and again. I would suggest you simply continue with a solid foundation that would allow him to pursue any option (college, tech school, direct into the workforce, etc). What things does he yet need to do/learn to be ready for those possibilities? Make one the big goal for each semester, and address a different one each semester for the next 4 years.
While he seems to be an auditory learner you want to continue to use and strengthen his other learning skills too. So choose some subjects that can simply be done with audio, and others where you work more one on one with him to do the harder for him learning skills. Also, learning note taking skills is always good.
May 31, 2018 at 10:53 am
CrystalN
Participant
Thank you all for taking the time to help me. Sometimes thinking (in my case writing it out) it through helps me see the bigger picture.
Tristan – Your advice particularly spoke to me. I know he will change so much in the next four years, he has already changed dramatically in the last two. I intend to make a list of “life/college/work” skills to focus on. Then see how to incorporate those into required subjects. A few come to mind, such as writing, organizing his thoughts, and learning from reading. I think the Lost Tools of Writing will accomplish the writing and organizing thoughts. Discussions will help with that as well. Any ideas about helping learn from books? He does have trouble with written directions as well, now that I think of it, skipping steps or not noticing subtle variations in instructions. Maybe it is a comprehension thing. Should I “start over” with narrations? Have him narrate a paragraph at a time? Do I need a reading curriculum? Have I completely failed this child?
May 31, 2018 at 12:34 pm
psreitmom
Participant
My soon to be 9th grader struggles academically. Because of the struggles, she has developed a dislike for school. We have changed curriculum so many times and have just kept plugging away. Now it’s high school time and I understand why you feel the way you do. I question what I should have done differently to help my daughter become more independent and learn better.
I have come to the place where I now have to focus on my daughter’s strengths and just let her keep learning at her level. She has dyslexia, so I still read a good deal to her. I would like her to read more on her own, but to do that I need to make sure the level of reading fits her needs. She loves audio books, but we have not used them for academics. I will still do much of the academic reading. I don’t believe she will pursue a higher education, but I do want her high school years to be profitable. Although we will complete the required courses for graduation (in a modified way), our main focus will be life skills. She really struggles with math, so we have to focus on money skills and cooking skills. She has some musical and artistic talent, so we will focus on those areas. She loves taking care of babies, so I want to teach her more about childcare. Maybe find some opportunities to babysit.
I just wanted to point out that at this age, the most important part of learning is getting them ready and able to function on their own as adults. My daughter knows she will have to work harder to earn credits to graduate, but I need to make sure the work she is doing is going to help her live in the real world.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Focusing on the Bible and character has been my priority. So, I believe grounding your son in the faith and using curriculum that will help your s son be able to stand against the lies of this world is great. As far as the reading, maybe to start, you could share in the reading. Take turns reading a passage. That may help him stay engaged and also, in part, give him that responsibility. If he is not retaining when he reads, give him short passages. Don’t worry about getting him college prepared. Just work with what you have planned and also put some focus on his interests. Like Tristan said, his interests may change over time. My son decided to go to college a year after he graduated. He started out working on a history major. He graduated with a degree in pastoral studies. I have a friend whose son will graduate in another year, and he still has not decided what he wants to do after high school. She was fretting about it. I told her to just pray for him. The answer will come in time.</p>
May 31, 2018 at 12:48 pm
psreitmom
Participant
Crystal, I didn’t read your last post until after I sent mine. I have felt like I failed my daughter, but not knowing why she struggled, I didn’t know what direction to take. You did not fail your son. You did what you knew to do. My daughter has trouble processing directions, so I read them to her to make sure she is following them accurately. I’m not sure how to help her become independent in that way. But, know you are not alone.
May 31, 2018 at 12:51 pm
psreitmom
Participant
I had my daughter tested. That has helped me better understand her needs, and gave me suggestions for helping her in those specific needs.
June 1, 2018 at 10:53 am
Tristan
Participant
You have NOT failed! One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we can shift and adjust our course when we recognize a need. We’re not locked into a curriculum like the government schools are.
One thing that your reply brought to my mind is when you mentioned the trouble with reading/understanding instructions and what they are asking your child to do. It reminds me of my kids who have had a hard time with word problems in math. I would suggest taking time for a while to pull out a couple highlighters or colored pencils and have your child highlight what they need to do, and to use different colors if there is more than one thing. An example may help. If I came across an assignment that said:
When you have 3 moles of Carbon, how many moles of Oxygen will you need to make carbon dioxide with no carbon molecules left over? How much CO2 will that be in grams?
I would have to highlight a couple things. First, I would highlight “how many moles of Oxygen will you need to make carbon dioxide with no carbon molecules left over”. Then I would highlight “how much CO2 will that be in grams” in a different color. Those are the two things I have to answer. Then I would use a pencil or two for circling important information. I would circle 3 moles of carbon and no carbon molecules left over. I would use my knowledge of chemistry from my reading to figure out the answer to the first question using those bits of information. For the second question I would circle grams. Then I would know I also need to report an answer after I have converted the moles of CO2 to grams.
Basically, they highlights and circle things that they need to check back in with to make sure they answered everything they were supposed to.
June 3, 2018 at 10:13 pm
psreitmom
Participant
Tristan. Highlighting in different colors is a great idea. I really want my daughter to be able to read directions and to follow them without me having to talk her through them. I’m going to try that. Thanks for the suggestion.
July 1, 2018 at 9:59 pm
Sue
Participant
One thing I did with an auditory learner was to ask her to read out loud. To me, to her brother, to the zebra finches, to herself. Didn’t matter. Sometimes hearing her own voice made retention better, but not always. So, she would be allowed to listen to audiobooks occasionally.