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Natural motivation ideas
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Hi all,
I have a very sweet 7 year old girl who does pretty well with her schoolwork. However, she tends to daydream and needs some natural motivation to keep her on task. Any ideas to keep her focused? I am trying not to use candy rewards or stickers, but some natural “good” consequences that Charlotte Mason suggested, whatever that may be! 🙂
Thanks!
Well, it makes sense that more time spent on certain tasks would lead to less time spent on others. Math, for example, could come right before some leisure reading time. You could give her 10 minutes to finish her math work (which is the perfect amount of time for her age). If she doesn’t finish in that amount of time because of dawdling, daydreaming, playing with her pencil, etc., then that’s less time for her to read her new favorite book. Require her to finish the math first (with your undivided attention, but not your poking and prodding). If it takes her an additional five minutes to complete math, then that’s five minutes less she gets to read Little House (my son’s favorite right now, just an example).
You don’t have to be disappointed or nag her about it. She needs to understand that there are good rewards for diligence and hard work.
I use a favorite book as an example.
My dc used to take for-e-ver to complete their morning chores. Choretime was after breakfast then. To get them to speed it up and do a great job, I used helping me with breakfast as the reward because they LOVE to help me in the kitchen. If chores are done to my satisfaction and clothes are on, then they get to help cook breakfast.
You could use helping in the kitchen, reading a favorite book, using the new sidewalk chalk, playing a computer game, or any other fun and exciting activity as motivation to get her to stop daydreaming and start being diligent.
Blessings,
Lindsey
Oh, I’m glad you brought this topic up, simple home, b/c we are dealing with a bit of a dawdler/daydreamer at our house too (although not so much with school work, but definetely with chores!) I appreicate your ideas, Lindsey, and look forward to hearing what the rest of you have to say.
Here’s the related-question that I’d like to tack on to this: I have been using an interesting activity as motivation and that is working well in some cases (like moving snack time to right after she finishes her copywork, or not being able to join in for after-lunch story time until her after-lunch clean up jobs are done)…but there are some times when that just doesn’t work. Like if we need to get ready to go out to be somewhere by a certain time, or other such things when the activity that comes next isn’t something that necessarily motivates her to do something quickly? Then what sort of ‘natural’ motivation should I try? Right now, those tend to be the kind of moments that we end up having the variety of battles that end up with both of us in tears (or close to). We are trying to move away from spanking and towards more natural consequences/motivators in general, and with this child in particular.
Thanks for your wisdom ladies!
Charlotte tells the story of a little girl who is sent to put on her shoes so she can go outside. When the mother walks by and sees her daughter daydreaming instead of lacing her boots, she gives her a look of hopeful encouragement. I think we have a tendency to flash ugly looks at our children as a way of motivating them by fear instead of looking at them with encouragement, like we believe they can do it.
I try to give my dd5 (who is also a dawdler) friendly, helpful reminders as we’re getting ready to leave the house. If I notice her poking along or playing instead of getting her shoes on, I’ll walk by her room and say, “Ok, we’re leaving in five minutes! Everybody make sure they have their shoes on!” If I walk by again and she’s still dawdling, I’ll say, “Now, Addie, we’re leaving in two minutes. Do you want to go with us? Ok, what do you need to do.” That usually always does the trick. She remembers right away that she’s supposed to be getting her shoes or her jacket. Sometimes our little dawdlers, especially, need some extra friendly prods.
I have a daydreamer DD too. The way I helped her develop the habit of attention was to break a task down into small parts. I might tell her, “Do one math problem and let me know when you’re finished.” When she is finished with one problem, I check it with my full attention (modeling) and then tell her to do the next problem. One at a time, we get through the short math lesson. Gradually, I increase the size of the steps. If I notice a backslide into daydreaming, I shorten the steps again. If even the first step of one problem is too much in the beginning, I will sit with her and keep her attention on the page and then eventually let her do it without me sitting by her.
Attention is a skill that can be developed with practice and I’m not sure a natural motivation would keep my DD from daydreaming….I wonder if it would increase her daydreaming as she would focus on what was coming next instead of her task at hand.
My DD is now a few years older than your DD and I’m able to talk frankly with her about habit of attention, and I point out to her when I have to break down my own tasks into tiny bits to keep my own attention from wandering. She’s able to do that for herself now, though sometimes I will step in if I she needs help focusing or needs a boost of confidence.
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