Hi Jennifer,
Its always easier to help someone else with their problem than to fix your own! When I’m done giving you an idea, see if you can help me with my unwilling child!
Have you tried some kind of reward system? I’m thinking of having a bowl of tokens of some kind (bingo chips, pennies, beans, etc.) on hand during your working-together times. Periodically (and probably a LOT while they’re getting the hang of it) you reward any good behavior you see with a token and a word of praise – “Timmy, thank you for sitting so nicely while we work.” – then right back to work. (This might be effective in correcting Johnny’s wiggles as well if he see’s Timmy’s reward for sitting still.) Then at the end of the day, they can exchange their tokens for something else – time with a favorite toy, special treat, whatever THEY find rewarding. We’re working on (so far with limited success
) a system of earning stars each day for specific things – working cheerfully, reciting a Bible verse, etc. If 20 stars are earned during the week, we’ll take a trip to McDonalds. But I think a week is too long for my 6-year-old to have to wait for the reward – when I warn that she might lose the reward, she say’s she doesn’t want to go anyway. (But I KNOW she’ll want to go when the time comes!)
So now to my problem – this is my first attempt at homeschooling. Rielly is 6 years old. According to my favorite home-school officianatos (Hi, Doug and Karen!) we’ve been homeschooling her already – just exposing her to lots of things, reading to her, and following her lead. But this is our first “official” year -where I want her to do specific things, complete certain lessons (math, for example), read the books I want her to read, etc. When everyone else went off to school in September, I thought it would be a great time to start our new schedule, new expectations, new habits, etc. When she talked of going to school, I told her that Mommy was going to be her teacher and we got to learn right here. I carved a niche for her out of our family room- got a book shelf, supply drawers full of new supplies, a globe, a CD player, cork board, dry-erase board, etc. Plopped some big pillows on the floor, set up a table and chairs…everything to make a school-niche for her. She loved it so much she slept in it for 2 nights!
But to get her to “do school” on any given day is like pulling teeth. When I say it’s time to do some school work, the reply is always the same: stomping feet, a loud moan, and “I hate doing schoolwork.” I can “make” her count by 2’s, but she spits the numbers out between gritted teeth. I can get her to do her copywork, but she holds the pencil in a chenched fist and grinds out angry letters. On good days, she really seems to enjoy learning something new. But most days aren’t good days and we end up spending twice as much time on the lessons as necessary and it’s just bordering on PAINFUL!
I can “sneak” some learning in throughout the day – math-at-the-grocery-store kinds of things. But some things just have to be learned from a book while sitting at the table (math, etc.). I’m not quite sure if this is a discipline issue (she’s trying to figure out who’s boss), an attitude problem (she tells me she already knows everything!), or a matter of changing old patterns (where she could move freely from one thing to another, within certain limits). I’m also wondering if I’m asking too much of her at this age (she can handle the information intellectually, but maybe she’s physically not able to sit through it).
Maybe someone out there has had a similar problem and can share some good advice/insights with me. I sure would appreciate the help! And Jennifer, I hope wish you the best of luck with your little guys! Hang in there!
Theresa