my3boys-follow up math question

Hi there.

Yes, still using MUS. The tutor we found was a recommendation from our academic overseer. But, if we didn’t have her, I’d use the library (free tutoring at ours), a high school student who has patience to just work on one few problems/or one concept. I don’t think my son would do well with an online tutor/class unless it was one on one and he could ask very specific question (that he knows most people know) and not feel ashamed for doing so. His tutor only talks math and he’s developed a relationship with her and has built a level of trust so that he knows she won’t laugh at him and will just guide him through the process.

He works on math for 30 minutes a day. ANY time he gets stuck and needs help, I help him. First, I ask him if he’s used any of his “tools”, if not, I suggest that he does. If he doesn’t have a “tool” for that particular concept, we make one on his 3 x 5 cards, or he looks it up in the TG to refresh his memory. He is free to use anything he needs to work independently but I’m always there to help out. I try not to just give him the answer but when it comes to things he’s just not going to be able to memorize, I give him the answer/strategy to work it out.

Are you using the blocks with her? Are you doing the problems step by step with her? I can’t let him alone with a new concept or he’ll be thinking he’s done it right when all along it was wrong and we have to retrain his thinking…that’s like letting them spell words wrong, or see them wrong, and having that “wrong” spelling in the mind’s eye and then you’re never really sure what is the right spelling.

He finished Delta and is now in the first part of Epsilon. Fractions. He uses the blocks for each and every problem (unless it’s review that he thinks he’s comfortable with). He’s been on lesson 1 for quite awhile but is doing well.

I would use every tool imaginable for your daughter and go ahead and move into Gamma (I’m no professional :). My ds does not have the facts down either, probably never will, but keeping him there would be torture and humiliating.  (His younger brother is only one book below him and could probably be further if I allowed it.) When the light bulb goes on in his head, it’s so wonderful to see! But, it’s only going to come on if I work with him at a snail’s pace, if that’s what it takes, and not force any kind of memorizing. The frustration that brings clouds his ability to work the problem. He’s frustrated, thinks I’m frustrated (which I not anymore), embarrassed, hopeless, etc., over not remembering a math fact?! Not worth it. He’s gifted in so many other areas (as we all are in some way or another) and this one area is not going to define him or beat him if I can help it. Honestly, if he just can’t remember something, I just tell him what it is. Just like with my emerging reader. If he can’t figure out a word, I just tell him, that way it he doesn’t lose the meaning of the sentence/story.  We can work on it after the reading is over, if I feel it’s necessary.

I must go for now. I think I covered what you asked but if not please let me know.

I just noticed your daughter’s age. My son is almost 14. Please be patient, set a time limit on math, 10-15 minutes and end on a positive note. Even if that means you just say,”You worked so hard today! I’m so proud of you.” Try to add in more “living” math (I’ve seen MOTL and was tempted to buy it, but it’s just too much for me, but I think I found an article that helped me, I’ll try to dig it out and send it to you.), baking, sewing, games, money of some sort, etc. It should be fun and not an add-on to punish her or sneaky so that it embarrasses her (not saying you would do that, but that’s what I tried to do and he caught on, not good).

I would take out the glossary and put them in page protectors so they can just sit out and she doesn’t have to thumb back to reach the info. Or, put them on a clip board. And, I would explain to her (if you feel it necessary) that the glossary is for everyone, not just someone who struggles (if you even want to use that word). It’s not cheating or a showing a sign of weakness or level of intelligence. Everyone uses reference material: maps, dictionaries, recipes, how-to manuals, wikipedia, google, or whatever. They are there for a reason. No one can know everything and using the tools is making a “good”decision. Not using them is just being foolish 🙂 I would make things as accessible as possible to eliminate the distraction looking for things can cause (or maybe that is just in our house;).

And, you’re more than welcome! In a bit, I will send the article I read that helped me a bit awhile ago.