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My thoughts are so muddled I don't even know what to call this post.
- This topic has 13 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 11 months ago by
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I have two boys, ages 12 and 8. They are both really bright, but both have mild learning challenges. We have only been home schooling for two years (this year and last). Before this they attended PS, my oldest for 5 years, my youngest for two.
My oldest struggles with writing –everything about it from letter formation to spelling to basic grammar. We are only occasionally dabbling in written narrations. He will occasionally write a notebook Page for science, but I have only been looking them over for content lately (make sure he has his facts straight), not correcting his spelling or grammar errors. I am trying to get him to more consistent with his typing practice (he’s been doing dance mat typing). He also really digs his heels in when I assign a book for independent reading, so we do most books as read alouds. He does do quite a bit of reading, but he likes to pick his own books. He struggles with math as well. He is currently on lesson 21 in MUS Delta.
My younger son who has been diagnosed with combined type ADHD does very well in academic subjects –I just need to keep him focused. He excels at math (is on lesson 17 in Delta), spells circles around his brother (sometimes his dad, too) reads at a high school level (but doesn’t like to read to himself very much, unless it’s a magazine, joke book or something too easy or twaddle. He loves to be read to.
So here is my problem. With the exception of occasional attempts at written narrations, my 3rd and 6th graders have done nearly the same things this year. There are things I’ve held my third grader back from doing this year that he could have managed with ease. I don’t feel my 6th grader has been sufficiently challenged either.
Some of these things will be addressed next year as my then seventh grader will be tackling General Science with the audio CD to help him out. He will also need formal grammar in 7th and 8th. I would also like to do formal novel study, possibly logic, maybe Latin, though I’m not sure because they both want to study Spanish this year.
I know part of the problem is that I work mornings and so what gets done is what fits into the afternoons. The problem with my oldest doing workbook things on his own is that he doesn’t like to follow instructions — I try to tell him to read them out loud t. himself so he hears the instructions as well as reads/sees them, but he will still often try to take short cuts that result in having much to redo. I’d really like to encourage more independence with him, but don’t know how to go about it.
My biggest concern with this child is the fact that he is still not enjoying school. He is a very social kid who really misses being in the middle of everything at the PS. His best friend and the two girls next door are always talking about things that he’s not part of. Things like sports teams, ski trips and other friends. Until very recently we haven’t known any other homeschooler’s his age — everyone we know has kids 3rd grade and younger. Recently we’ve had a new family attending our church, but only the 9 year older have been there because the 11 year old has been playing hockey weekends. I’ve also met three other homeschooling moms recently, but we’ve not had the chance yet to get our kids together. I am starting to wonder if he’ll ever come around. Right now the only thing that he finds positive about homeschool is that he doesn’t have to get up at quarter to six to catch a school bus at quarter to 7. I know I need to find him some more social outlets. He will be old enough for Youth Group in the fall, but I have mixed feelings about that.
I am really struggling with inconsistencies personally. I’ve been looking at MFW ECC For next year, which would be perfect for my 4th grader, I think it would be good for my older ds, to at least have a year planned out for us. He would have his own age appropriate reading, Science, etc. I think it would really have that road map laid out for me where I work and don’t often have the energy to put into planning or organizing lessons. I’d rather spend that time concentrating on habit training which I’m embarrassed to say we haven’t done much of.
I know a pre-planned program comes with it’s own complications. I don’t have a problem with shortening or dropping countries if need be. I wouldn’t use most of their recommendations for LA, or math and maybe not even the 7/8 extension pack, especially if I do decide to add in the Latin and/or logic. To be honest I’m not really sure which way to go. Maybe I’m over thinking it all way too much. I just know we can’t have another year like this one where the only real strides made seem to be in math and cursive. I know they have learned in other areas but recent changes in our provincial laws require me to send samples showing progress in at least two subject areas. I really don’t know what to send.
I am so confused right now. We have ten weeks left in what I scheduled to be our school year, we are behind and I really need to figure out our priorities because other than keeping up math skills and reading I can’t see anything working out in terms of lessons over the summer. I need the break as much as they do.
Sorry this is so long and rambles so much. That should give you an idea of the turmoil my mind is in.
Hugs. I’m sorry that I don’t have much advise for you. But towards the end of reading your post, I was thinking the same thing you said: you need a break. When do you need to start your next school year? Were you planning to have the summer off? Is it possible to take a week or more off right now and figure some things out and then start fresh again to finish up this school year? We had a long break and are now back to finishing up 8 weeks left of our school year. I made a new schedule and changed some books and we are back to liking our school days. But I did not think about school for the first week off. It was hard, but I told myself to take a break from it and think about it at the right time. Then I was more clear-minded when I went into planning the 8 weeks out. And I was more prepared by getting copies made ahead of time and having everything ready to go for those 8 weeks to finish up until we get another break. Then, I will re-evaluate what books to use for next year, which we will start in July. We do year-round schooling with breaks where we need them. I pray you find what works for you. If you can get together with those homeschool families you recently met, you can share ideas and make new friends too.
We have a week of vacation coming up. We are going to hit the beach and enjoy the sunshine! We will lose two days of the following week due to travel and recouping from travel, so other than math facts review, reading and cursive (copywork) I wasn’t planning anything else. Maybe I’ll have a better perspective when we vet back and will have a list of priorities in place by then. I could take those three days to get better organized.
I am not planning lessons while we are away, but we’ve been studying swimming creatures of the fifth day, so we are planning to take the book so if we come across something we haven’t studied yet we can look it up if we want to. Mostly we plan to take lots of pictures and videos. We are doing a small project portfolio with info on where we are going and we’ll keep a journal (maybe a joint one, or a video journal). It’s not school and it’s not meant to resemble anything we are currently doing for school. Just a way to hold on to the memories. I would like them to scrapbook it all when we get back, though.
More hugs. I really sense your frustration. Sorry it’s such a struggle. It sounds like you’re giving your kids a good education. My dd is in 7th and would probably not say that she enjoys school overall, and we’ve always homeschooled. There’s always something more fun to do, and workload is ever increasing! She does work well independently. However, she struggles some w/reading comprehension and I feel like I have to give her more help getting started than some others her age. For instance, grammar and writing assignments I almost always have to get her started, but then she does the lesson well on her own. I can’t imagine going to work all morning. Is there time to give your eldest a brief bit of help in starting assignments before you leave?
My dd also complains about the books I give her to read independently! We were at the Christian bookstore today and she wanted a novel there, but I flipped through and I was a bit shocked to read some of the language and situations. But to her the teenage topic sounded interesting and it was easy to read, and bad mom always gives her harder to read classics:( I’ve worked harder lately to try to find independent reading that I approve as quality, but tweaks her interest more…instead of just picking the classics I automatically want to give her…though as she ages I’ll need to make sure she’s reading certain books and hope she will enjoy them!
I’m sorry I don’t have much advice. If it were me I’d probably spend more time on the struggling areas and let some areas go for a while…but still be sure and add in some fun, simpler subjects so it’s not dreaded. I hope you get some more advice….and I hope you have a great break at the beach:) Blessings, Gina
I’m sure a vacation will be refreshing. Sounds like fun.
I just wondered if you had your older son tested for dyslexia or other learning disabilities? My dd10 is just beginning the Barton Reading System. I had her to an education consultant and she says my dd shows strong signs of being dyslexic. It is not a formal diagnosis, but something I have been suspecting for some time. The Barton System will cover all language areas (reading, writing, spelling, and vocabulary). It claims to make good spellers. My daughter is also very social and wants to be with other kids doing ‘fun’ stuff. She does not like school. But, I think it is because it is frustrating her. Her handwriting is good, but her spelling is terrible. She loves to be read to, but struggles reading on her own. Some of that is because of problems with her eyes. If the eyes are not working together, it will affect the reading. My dd has an appt. with a pediatric ophthalmologist on Wednesday, because the special glasses she was given by the optometrist don’t seem to be helping her problem. This was a recommendation by my consultant. Even kids who do not seem to have any noticeable problems can have eye convergence problems and may need some sort of vision therapy. That is an area you may want to get tested.
She has some attention issues, so she is not working independently. You mentioned that your son does not follow directions. My dd is the same way. If I am not there to read the directions to her, she will just start doing the problems whatever way she thinks they should be. I’m not sure if some of that is her avoidance to reading because of her visual processing difficulties. Then she wants to jump around on the page. I am trying to train her to do things in order.
She has major struggles in math. We have begun a special program for math remediation as well.
I’m just throwing some things out there because your older ds sounds a lot like my dd. I know how frustrating it can be. It has been like that for me this year. I am relieved to have gotten some help now, but it may still be a challenge to get my dd to at least ‘like’ school. One thing the consultant stressed was to make sure our day is balanced with things that dd likes and are easy. She wrote it out like this. Easy, hard, easy, hard for the morning, which the hard would consist of her reading and math program. Then have a relaxed afternoon doing history and science. She loves science, especially nature study. I plan to spend a lot of time outside with her now that warmer weather is on our doorstep.
Sorry this is lengthy, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Don’t give up. As far as the pre-planned curriculum, have you checked out Heart of Dakota? Everything is written out in boxes. It is very easy to follow and they have wonderful book choices. We used it for almost 2 and 1/2 years. When we get through these special reading and math programs, I may go back to it for some things. Anyway, I would recommend finding an educational consultant. If you can’t find one, I will gladly give you the name of the one we went to. She was recommended by Susan Barton. She specializes in math and dyslexia. She helps you with finding the right curriculum. If you are too far away from her, she will do consultations and assessments via phone and internet. She said she did one, I believe, in Hong Kong, or some other country.
Anyway, I hope something here helps. PM me if you have any questions about what we are doing.
Pam
My son was assessed in 4th grade while in PS. He was diagnosed with dysgraphia and what they called border-line ADHD. We all have eye appointments the end of the month, but I really don’t expect that to reveal anything at all. He narrates well, where my younger son is only starting to get there. We do have some problems with reading aloud — he tends to read to fast and slur over some of his words. I need to become more consistent with having him read aloud. I was considering getting a reader for him specifically for this purpose, thinking maybe the short stories would seem more manageable, but I am not sure which. I gave him an unofficial reading level test at the start of the year which suggested he was reading at a grade 9 level. He loves to read and reads much more than his younger brother who reads at a higher grade level.
I’ve looked at Heart of Dakota some, and I really like the look of it, but wasn’t sure how well it would work for 2 kids, and I really can’t afford to by two programs, nor do I have the time to run two completely different programs. I keep reading that the company doesn’t recommend combining children in the program, but perhaps I am wrong? I want something to challenge both my children, but recognizes my older son’s need for something of his own now that he will be starting Jr. high.
I think that there isn’t anything wrong w/trying a boxed curriculum. If MFW looks good to you and you think it will meet the needs of your kids and your family, then go for it!
For myself, I’ve had to let go of the guilt of not using what I think are “the best” materials or “the best” methods because I just couldn’t make them work for us. And many times that was bc of me, not my kids. And example is Right Start math – its a fantastic program, my son loved it. But it is so teacher intensive that we just weren’t getting to it enough. I switched math, and hey, guess what – he’s still learning math and its much more consistent. Math now gets done every single day.
I work part time too, and it is a little difficult trying to balance everything. Just try to remember why you want to homeschool and then find the curriculums that fit you – even if its one curric. this year and something different next year. Especially w/history and literature. I think you can be much more flex in those areas.
I also want to say, gently and w/love, that it isn’t always the worst thing in the world for a child to go to public school.
I’m hoping that you find some peace about all this and that you find joy in schooling next year! 🙂
We’ve used HOD in the past. I just wanted to add that we switched to SCM because HOD wasn’t working for us. My DC dawdled through all the lessons and we struggled to get through it all. In the long run, our 3Rs were getting pushed aside to fit in the history and science activities. My DD struggles with math (and writing), so she really needed more time on those areas. She was getting some writing in with the notebooking, but she would often just do the absolute minimum amount of writing (and draw lots of pictures). I’ve found SCM’s curriculum guide gives us a more balanced day…and I can easily adjust it to fit our exact needs.
As far as getting them to work independently, I struggle with that as well! I’ve been trying to give them independent work while I do preschool (HOD’s program in fact! ) and FIAR with my younger two. Yesterday, they spent almost a whole hour on math (It should have taken 20-30 minutes at the most)! No ideas here, but we are working on this area as well!
Many people combine in Heart of Dakota. Basically, the Bible, science, and history would be done together. The boys would each do their own language and math. Actually, when I go back to it, I would be doing a different math and probably different English than what is listed in the guides, just because of my dd’s learning difficulties. There are extensions for older students to challenge them more. You would need to go on their website and look at their placement chart to see if it would be feasible to combine. You can get help with placement on their discussion board as well. Given the skill level of each of your boys, I personally think it may be possible to do that. I’m just suggesting this option because I have used it and in your situation, having something that is all planned out may give you the respite that you need. Your older ds could do more independently. Having all the instructions in the boxes would make it easy for him to follow. HTH
Just thought I’d try to encourage you in the area of writing. Please don’t fret about the appearance of currently abilities. Any improvement on a monthly, quarterly, term/semester, or yearly basis should be celebrated. What doesnt make sense on paper now, is being mulled over internally. It takes some of us much longer to even have something to say, much less comprehend how to get it down onto paper.
The other thing to keep in mind is that it is okay that they e been doing similar/same things for a while. Even if that needs to continue, they aren’t losing ground. Until a child is equipped to forge on ahead, you’ll lose ground if you try to force progress. And, if they are capable of more, encourage it and allow for it whether it’s on the written “plan,” or not. If you must document, do it after the fact in this situation. If you have to park in one place, park. If you speed through some areas, check it off and breathe a sigh of relief.
Lindsey has shared Theodore Roosevelt’s quote many times. I think it applies here, too. “Comparison is the thief of joy!” taking a break will give all of you a time to rid comparison from the routine. Using a boxed curriculum may be helpful while establishing new thought patterns in the comparison area if you just use it as a “breather” from planning and fretting.
A note: my 13yos is almost over dictating writing assignments due to his spelling and handwriting struggles. He has begun a key boarding program that is a nice challenge for him as it makes him feel more professional about his papers. That may be an avenue your son could pursue with success. When a word is misspelled, it gets highlighted in Word. My son looks at it and tries to figure out why its wrong. Sometimes he gets it corrected. Other times he asks for help. It’s a process that keeps him learning.
Praying you have a restful vacation,
Becca<><
As I have said before, I usually don’t do the responding, I do the asking! I couldn’t help myself though, after reading this because I too hear so many similaritiies to some of our challenges. God has used the “moms of wisdom” on this forum in so many ways to guide me back to what really matters. I would just say, read their suggestions, print them out, and reread when you feel frustrated. I have a nearly 12dd and just turned 14ds, who both would be in sp. ed. in PS. They went for 6 years to a private christian when we pulled my son from 1st grade public; he was not and would not get help at school, no matter how impressive the IEP was. At private chrstian, things were not much better. They were simply “passed along” but did not retain the information as well as their grades reflected. When we pulled them 2 years ago, we were shocked at how behind (especially my son) the children were. Both have had diagnoses of different varieties since the ages of 2 (with much disagreement among the doctors) ranging from PDD, ADHD, ADD, etc. etc.. At this point, the label doesn’t matter, we are their sp.ed. and we have gained some ground the past 1 1/2 years, in spite of my doubts. Since finding SCM, we have transitioned to many materials recommended by their guide, but also from the suggestions from women here who have had some special needs kids. I suspect my son has dyslexia, although he was never tested for it. He is 14 and is spelling at a 4th grade level; he hates to/cannot write with ease., struggles with math and shoe laces etc. If you read the thread from 4-5 days ago (“Exams SCM Grading Narrations”) you will hear the panic I felt after I had both kids screened to see how well I was doing as a teacher. Needless to say, I felt as though we all got an “F”! I worry I am not doing good enough, that we arre too late, should have started HS from the start, should have used a better curricula etc. I am only now (thanks to many words of wisdom from here) learning to “chill” and look at the accomplishments, not the failures as we try this CM homeschool approach. My son cannot spell or tie shoes, but he can play “Amazing Grace” during the fellowship hymm as good as the best! My daughter may not be on level for her coursework either, but she can paint and draw with skills far beyond most Art teachers I had as a kid! We have all enjoyed the combination of grades this CM style allows. My dd may not absorb the same things as my ds, but they each learn what they can from our “read together subjects” and so do mom and dad (History, Science, Literature). We may not be as organized, comprehensive, or intense as others out there, but we do the best we can ( I also have to work, full-time vet; husband and I teach at the clinic in between dogs and cats) Sometimes we get alot done, sometimes very little if the office is crazy busy. But, as so many here keep reminding, I have to quit comparing! We are doing the best we can; so are you! If I don’t work, we don’t eat. You may be in the same predicament. If we sent them back to PS, they would be humiliated by their peers. If we sent them back to private christian, the same. We have no other options but this, and I am finally seeing, it’s the best in spite of ourselves. I won’t try to muddle you worse with ideas about material choices, just know you are in my prayers and I’m sure you will do O.K. All I know, is that we are blessed to have encouraging words from this forum; I have learned what seems to work for us, and I pray you will find the same after a much needed break!
MariePowell wrote:
“I worry I am not doing good enough, that we are too late, should have started HS from the start, should have used a better curricula etc. I am only now (thanks to many words of wisdom from here) learning to “chill” and look at the accomplishments, not the failures as we try this CM homeschool approach. My son cannot spell or tie shoes, but he can play “Amazing Grace” during the fellowship hymm as good as the best! My daughter may not be on level for her coursework either, but she can paint and draw with skills far beyond most Art teachers I had as a kid!…We may not be as organized, comprehensive, or intense as others out there, but we do the best we can…”
Almost ditto, Marie. My dd is not doing music or art to the ability of your dc, but she is gifted in those areas. I need to draw on her strengths. Focusing mostly on the negative doesn’t do any good. My dd has such a better attitude when she knows she is accomplishing something. If she thinks she CAN’T do it, she withdraws and doesn’t want to try. I need to be more positive and make those strong areas shine.
Thank you ladies. Reading all of your posts is really bringing me some peace and clarity. Your mention of strengths and building on those has reminded me of my son’s work at church with the audio/visual department. He is currently training two other sixth graders to run the audio/visual equipment for Sundays morning Kidz Church. Dh is a technical producer in television broadcasting. Maybe we need to find more opportunities/projects along that lines. That will have to be a dad thing, I’m afraid
Yes, build on those talents and, most importantly, their character. I have a 23yo dd who was born with spina bifida. She was not very high in her academics in school, but she is well-gifted in working with computers and other electronics. She also helps to run sound at church. As my older 3 were doing work for credits in high school, I allowed them to choose some of their courses, based on what their interests were. None of them graduated with a college prep diploma, but they all did go to a Christian college, though the 23 yo only went for one year. My oldest, whom I thought would get into business or teaching, ended up becoming a pastor.
You do what you know best for your boys. The Lord has special plans for each one of them. You are their best teacher. Keep asking God for wisdom in making decisions for them. You’ll do fine.
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