My 6 year old is a pack rat, please help

My adopted dd (age 9) does the same thing. We adopted her at age 3, she’d been through at least 7 foster homes by then and she came with many behavioral issues and SID, for which she goes to therapy. One of her most annoying and one of the areas we have been least sucessful in changing is the hoarding problem.

She has a trash can in her room, yet she stuffs garbage in the vent and in drawers everywhere. She has a hamper, yet she stuffs her dirty clothes anywhere, too. Usually I start digging in her room when I notice her dirty clothes pile is getting fewer and fewer. Forget about labeling her drawers for certain toys-tried that. She just stuffs things wherever. We’ve considered takig her bed frame out and making her sleep on the mattress on the floor because of her stuffing things agains the wall and bed and under the bed; so there’s a daily under and beside bed check. The there’s her closet-AARGH!!

We’re constantly finding things in odd places; she “losses” things, because she just stuffs away. Sometimes it’s intentional in that she doesn’t want o put clean clothes away-I’ll find a bunch of clean clothes in her toy box or behind something. I think the chaotic toy placement is because she moves fast and franetic has no order in her brain-no degradation; I just mean one of her biggest issues is sequence and following a pattern of thought in her mind.

So mine goes a little further than yours, but she is still doing the same thing regarding the hoarding and yes, it’s very aggravating. Sorry, I don’t have any advice except remove as many ‘places’ in her room as possible and have daily/weekly checks. We’re going to be removing a three-drawer case and eventually the toy box and just use cubbies, I guess. That way they are open and visible. Give her the ‘tools’ or ‘methods’ that she can have all her life to function by her choices and habits to live with her tendencies. You can also pray over prayers from Scripture having to do with these areas. I think pro help could be helpful to get you started and give you some ideas on helping her help herself; you just don’t want the curse of a “label” to actually create an excuse in her mind that she “can’t help it”. I’ve never told me dd she has SID, just that her brain was created differently by G-d, so on and so forth to create a sense of ability and overcoming instead of a label that can possibly hold one back; it just depends on how it’s handled.

There’s been brilliant poeple throughout history w/this tendency and have done amazing things, but you don’t want this tendency to prevent her from doing the things in her life that she was created for. Is she artistic type? Just a guess that she probably is. I think those have the most likelihood of being this way.

You should see what happens when my dd goes into the schoolroom looking for books-OY! Looks like a tornado went through…exasperating.

Rachel

I agree with the other posters-that it would be worth looking into to see if she does have a “real” issue with this. If nothing else, it would help you to know that there is really something going on.

If it’s NOT an issue, I would recommend limiting the space were she can “hord” rather than telling her she can’t keep anything. For our boys (some are “keepers” more than others), they have a treasure bin. For the oldest two (ages 14 and 13), it is a footlocker. For the next three (ages 9, 8, 5), it is a rubbermaid bin. For the 3 year old girl, it is a drawer. They are allowed to keep pretty much anything they want in those spaces (within reason-no food or dangerous stuff like matches). They have to clean them out every Friday and at that time there has to be some space left for new treasures (maybe a couple inches at the top). This has really helped us! First, they have some control. Second, I know when it will be cleaned out. Third, there is a LIMIT-once the treasures start growing out of the space, they MUST clean it NOW or I throw away whatever is out of the space (if they can’t find room in the space, it is not important enough).

Maybe for the food: she could have her own little bin somewhere in the kitchen with treats that she can have when she needs/wants one? You could stock it (or she could help you) so you know it’s not just junk. This may give her some control over the food issue.

HTH,
Rebecca