Name: Spreading the Feast Gathering
Start: 2025-07-11T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-07-12T23:59:59-05:00
Location: LaGrange, KY

Tagged: habit training, logical consequences, Motivation, natural consequences, parenting, unfinished schoolwork, unmotivated, work not done

This topic has 21 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 9 months ago by elsnow6.

Viewing 7 posts - 16 through 22 (of 22 total)

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August 10, 2013 at 12:50 am
crazy4boys
Participant
Video games are a HUGE motivator for my boys. Sadly. I would love to find a way for them to be motivated to do their schoolwork which doesn’t involve video games at the end. *sighs*
As relates to the Charlotte quote, why then do so many CM curriculum writers, including SCM, have family work where you are all reading together? Especially history. And most of the time Shakespeare, poetry, some literature (read some aloud, assign others) and other subjects are done as a family. I’m not trying to be contentious, just trying to understand how this should play out in the school day.
August 10, 2013 at 2:04 am
ServingwithJoy
Participant
The family readings are for younger children. We are just now transitioning our 12yo to all independent work.
It is not that you can’t read together as a family as an enjoyable activity. But the point is that the kids develop the habit of loving to read for themselves.
Once that habit is firmly established, they transition into more and more independent learning. Charlotte also said, “Self-education is the only possible education; the rest is mere veneer laid on the surface of a child’s nature.”
In other words, the good seeds (habits) that you sow in reading high quality living books to them, even before they are able to read those books for themselves, develop a love of high quality reading which will grow into a tree of lifelong learning.
That 11-13 yo phase is kind of the ‘sapling’ stage…transitioning to self-education :).
August 10, 2013 at 2:49 am
Karen
Participant
I can see the point of transitioning to independent reading with my oldest daughter – 9yo. She’d rather me read her school assignments. We’re working at it, and I really think using Mod. 6 is going to help us immensely. She already loves to read fun stuff by herself, so I think it’s just a matter of it being an assignment that makes that reading less palatable. I love that it’s just 1 chapter per day — she’s in the habit of devouring books she loves. (I have that habit too. And I wish I had been taught to savor a book.)
August 10, 2013 at 3:03 am
missceegee
Participant
It is true that kids need to read for themselves at some point. My dd12 is capable of completing all of her readings plus the family readings. I love having us all on the same page, but honestly there were times this year that I felt we were holding her back. So, I gave her the family books to either read on her own or to the younger ones. I intend to do that again this coming year. She much prefers not waiting on me.
Shakespeare, poetry, composer, artist, hymn, folk song, and some family read alouds – it just makes more sense and more fun to do together. However, all of my kids 9+ read their own literature and history with a few exceptions of books we want to discuss. I like using a history spine ala SCM when possible via audiobook or me reading. It ties us together in some neat ways. That said the vast majority is independent work.
Remember that Charlotte has given us some great information, methods, and materials, but she was not a wife or a mother with the extra duties and responsibilities that brings. Having kids in the same cycle of history but at their own level is what Chartlotte did in her schools and it’s a way for HS moms to simplify. I don’t think it’s necessary, but it is nice. I toyed with separating our school age kids history-wise for the coming years, but decided against it. I like our conversations and were all learning lots, me included.
Don’t be afraid to give the family books to older kids to read on their own if their applicable. They could be too simple for the oldest and most advanced kids, I suppose, but they’ve been great for me even as an educated adult. You could also find more books of varying density to add for older kids if need be.
Just some random thoughts.
Christie
August 10, 2013 at 3:09 am
4myboys
Participant
I can sympathize with you completely. You said this is a newer issue. Could it have anything to do with it being summer? If they have been connecting more with public school children or other homeschoolers following a more traditional school year, there may be some rebellion over that. This has happened with my 12 year old who has refused to finish Delta over the summer because everyone else gets summer vacation — never mind all the other holidays we take or the fact that it’s only one subject and he is only 2 lessons away from being done, or that his refusal has created a situation where his younger brother has passed him, completing Delta last week.
Of course I could be way off the mark. I’m watching this thread closely, because he really isn’t motivated. I was listening to an interview with Cynthia Tobias on Focus on the Family this morning. I am seriously considering getting her books, especially “You Can’t Make Me But I Can Be Persuaded” on dealing with strong willed children. I can’t remember the title of the book relating to today’s topic, but it dealt with finding your child’s learning style and strengths and how to use them to achieve success.
August 10, 2013 at 10:44 am
Gem
Participant
We are finding though that by providing a clear expectation of what they should do each day, they are better able to get it done. If I make up a list of weekly assignments they get it done whereas just saying, “do science every day” is too vague for them. Perhaps part of that is because they are independent now in some subjects that they’ve always had me helping them with. So if I say, “Chapters 2-5 need to be done in science and check it off when it’s done” they get it done. If I say, “do science” it gets lost in translation or something and they can’t remember to do it. Is this the way I want them to function their whole lives? Probably not. But I know many adults who schedule out their work that way as well and meet their obligations. Perhaps we’re just experiencing the hiccups of transitioning from mom to independent.
Sounds like this is your answer – I always try (TRY! not always successful, but try LOL) to set my kids up to succeed, not to fail, especially when in transition. If this is a step that makes them succeed, by all means, do it! If they are not ready to set goals for each school year, set them yourself, tell them what will have to be done, show them how you decided what will have to be done, and give them clear expectation. If they get their lessons done when you do it this way – sounds like success to me.
And on the sleep issue – I am not for having layabout kids in the bed till noon every day – at all! But I am for kids getting enough sleep, so research this time of changing and growing for boys and see what is needed – it is a lot more sleep that most kids get. Most kids are in a chronic sleep deficit and that has all kinds of health consequences. I find it necessary to say that my kids have to get up at 8:30am if they don’t wake up on their own before that, so we adjust bedtime to get enough sleep. That is what works for our family, you will have to decide what works for yours. I like my kids to get 10hours if possible, if they need it. Mine are 9 and 13. 13 yo def sleeps more!
Hope this issue resolves itself over the course of the new school year 🙂 Sounds like you have some great kids.
August 30, 2013 at 10:19 pm
elsnow6
Participant
Just an interesting bit on sleep. We all know our sleep goes in cycles but not necessarily that you want to wake at the end of a cycle to awake alert rather than groggy. I came across a website sleepyti.me that calculates when to go to sleep based on when you need to wake or vice versa. I know that address looks weird but it is sleepyti.me Also found a free app called Sleepbot that tracks sound & movement during sleep, has an alarm that helps wake you during correct part of sleep cycle, etc. This could be helpful in ensuring they get correct sleep & are waking in the right spot in cycle. I’ve always been a proponent of letting my kids sleep until they wake on own, but they are still little & wake at a reasonable hour for going about the day.