I am struggling to figure out what to use for my sons. I had messaged the fb page but don’t feel like i got much help figuring it out.
My youngest (who is 9 goin on 12 in Dec) has asd, apraxia, spd and stomach issues. He just learned to read last year with the Delightful reading boxes and McGuffey Readers. The issues are that everything seems to overwhelm him and Im not sure where to do with it. How do I help him learn?
My oldest son is not where he should be age wise. I don’t want to fail him and him not be able to get to graduation. He is 12 going on 13 at the end of the month. And is just now learning double digit multiplication. He struggles with perfectionism.
I guess in point is that I am a mom who wants the best for her children in a loving simple fun homeschool, but who struggles with how to meet the requirements for their later years and is worried she’s already failed them.
I need help getting direction on what to do and use and how to approach everything.
Hi there!
Chances are, it was me you spoke to through the FB page, and I apologize if you didn’t feel like you were able to get the help you need. I’m more than happy to continue the conversation so we can help you get somewhere comfortable.
You are not alone in having nerves about your homeschool journey. As mom you care so deeply about your sweet children and you are already on the right path by spending time to address things that aren’t feeling right.
For your youngest, it is important to work at his pace. When Charlotte shared her process for teaching children to read, she talked about the importance of making sure the ground is secure beneath your feet before each new step is taken. In doing that, you are building a life-long learner who will feel comfortable and confident in reading to know. Can you tell me a little bit more about what kinds of situations overwhelm him and what his responses are like?
For your 12-year-old, perfectionism is very common at that age – for children who have always struggled with it, it can often get worse, and even children who have never seemed to care before can suddenly become very self-aware and uncomfortable. It can take a lot of grace and conversation to teach the concept of best effort versus perfectionism, but it is well worth it for both your child’s relationship with himself and with others. You mentioned where he is in math – does he have other areas that he loves? Math might very well become his “have to do” out of his responsibility, but there could be other areas he can explore with passion.
Think (honestly) on what you actually “use” today that you learned in school. Chances are, it is only what appealed to you, that you pursued on your own and math up to grade 5.
My 14 year old is only NOW in decimals. She would be years behind her public school companions. And I don’t care. If we need to really press math when she is officially in high school, we will. I found that just doing more of a year round school helps us with math consistency. Even at the college level, the kids can take “remedial” classes in math (sure, they pay for it, but that is ok). There is SO much growth that happens when they hit 13. I am sure by 16 he will jump by leaps!
Remember, education is not filling their heads with facts, but giving them the ideas so they keep learning into adulthood.
I can’t imagine my kids having to work on in a public School setting because I realize they do not grow steady, it is in spurts. Some days my son can do all his math in his head, and other days he just can’t seem to do it at all and acts up and gets frustrated. I am grateful for the SHORT lessons with math. 15-20 minutes every day really works!
What math are you using? Math that has no “tests” should help him not worry as much about perfectionism. You can also look at what is required for graduation in your state- you still have 7+ more years to get him caught up. Do you really think everyone that graduated in your school was that prepared? Nope. The school does not get money if kids don’t graduate ;P
It also helps to NOT surround yourself with the super achiever homeschool types. Do you have a few like-minded mamas that you can just let the boys play with? We have park days that help us mamas remember that books are better than math sometimes, and letting kids be kids is vital to their education.
Unfortunately we do not have like minded friends here. We are finding it hard to find friends especially ones that are like minded.
We use Math U See. My oldest asked to use that over Teaching Textbooks. Im not quite sure how CM teaches math, so im not sure what to try to use. Trying to figure out what to use to teach what, what works and doesn’t work is quite exhausting adding in on top of my youngest sons meltdowns about everything.
We pray for like minded friends all the time. I wish there was a helpful CM community around us.
Math U See is recommended here!
Do you do math for a set amount of time (20 minutes) instead of a number of pages?
perfectionism is a heart issue that takes some time to get to the root of, but thankfully we can do that hard work because we are home with our kids.
I jumped aroumd in math, then started all over when my oldest was 11 with the new math books sold here- (yup, back to 1st grade level to get a refresher) and we went slow sometimes. I am not recommending that specifically- but math only goes as fast as your child can grasp it. And that is OK!
when I get overwhelmed or frustrated, we pulled back subjects to just math amd bible- and sometimes a month off of school totally!
I am sorry you do not have a close community there, but I hope uou can get some reassurance on this forum!
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