mild intellectual delay

I don’t yet face those issues, but have a child with serious medical needs and physical disability.  I think the hardest part is when something catches you out of the blue, you just have been tooling along happily and those ‘issues’ have faded to the background and become your everyday normal.  Then someone or something happens that makes you ‘see’ it all again.  For example when we go somewhere and there is no wheelchair accessibility, I realize all over again how limited Mason is because he’s paralyzed.  In day to day life I don’t notice, but an out of the usual experience brings it up all over again.

((HUGS))

I too have wept multiple times.  I  have struggled with understanding the Lord’s plan for my child and what to take in from the perspective of an evaluation.  Many times they don’t seem to overlap.

Two years ago, I chose to follow the advice of the evaluation.  I wept and struggled because it was so far from CM ideals, it was against my grain, but I really felt that I also needed to do it.

She broke through barriers in many educational aspects, and within time, I realized and brought back many portions of the feast of CM.  Her personal work still is more like the suggestions I received two years ago, but we can now enjoy our family studies again.  She also plays and creates in the afternoons.

I think CM lends itself well to special children because we are teaching a child, not a subject.  It is a journey, not a check the box off situation.  Good luck mourning and finding the right path.

I just wanted to mention that in teaching math, grammar, and spelling, where there are rules/concepts they need to remember, repetition is necessary. You may be on one math concept for weeks, but that’s okay. Little is more with our special needs kids. I didn’t know what we were dealing with until my daughter was close to 10. Had I known before that, we may have saved ourselves many tearful days. Since you have a diagnosis, it may help in choosing, but sometimes it takes ‘trial and error’ until you know what will work. One thing I have gone heavy on from the start is teaching Bible/character. Even if my daughter does not go far academically, I need to make sure she has learned what is most important. She is 12 now and talks about being a mother someday. She just LOVES babies! Whether she ever gets married or not, I need to be preparing her for the future. So, life skills are so important. This is the kind of stuff she remembers: This past school year, we were going over a few of George Washington’s rules of civility. She has not forgotten, “don’t talk with food in your mouth” and “don’t talk while yawning”. I just remembered that I have a Handwriting By George copywork book. It contains Rules 1-27 of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company & Conversation. I was going to get rid of it, but now I’m thinking this may be a good resource for my daughter:) She will get handwriting practice and be learning life skills at the same time! This message board has been a big help in finding curriculum. There have been things we have used that I would not have known about if I hadn’t been here.

Along with what Tristan said about the ‘issues’ becoming your everyday normal, it is true. But, you will have days when you feel you can’t deal with it. Remember what the Bible says. God will not give you more than you can handle. But, we need to remember to let Him handle it with us. On our own, we mess up. I have been there so many times.

I have a 26 yo daughter (who still lives at home) still in the hospital after a surgery done May 22nd. She was born with spina bifida and some major bladder/intestinal issues. This surgery was her choice, to better her quality of life. She is now experiencing some problems with her bowels, that will, more than likely, extend this hospital stay even longer. It could potentially mean bowel surgery, which could be detrimental to her nutritional status. We almost lost her when she was 9 because of some complications in her bowels, but God spared her. Now we are wondering how all of this is going to end up again. But, the difference is, I am continually placing it in the Lord’s hands, where at 9, emotionally, I was not handling it well. I just focused on not wanting to lose my little girl, who, by the way, has needed much physical and medical care since birth. It really does become your normal. Yes, I have had a few days that I have been in tears over what is going on now. But, whether we commit it to the Lord, or whether we let it control your emotions and try to work through it in the flesh, will determine our peace or unrest. I say that because I have been in both places. The difference this time is that I have been saying, “God, She is Your child. You are in control of what happens to her.” His peace has definitely rested on me this time. God gave us these children for a reason. Not everyone could handle having a special needs child. So, mamarhody, and other parents with ‘special’ children, be honored to be chosen for this special purpose:)

Piertma, which side of the brain was affected for your child? My son had a left side stroke in Usero and has the CP diagnosis with apraxia, expressive delays, etc. he is not quite four and some days (which was a recent discussion with our speech therapist) is that I don’t know if his lack of response is due to the apraxia and not being able to verbalized a lot yet or his just being three.  So far I found he is more visual and loves to be read to. I should not think to far ahead but it helps me if I am a little prepared for potential “diagnosis”.

Laurie, my daughter’s stroke was on the right side, which weakened the left side. When you said your son had a left side stroke, do you mean his left side is weak, or did a left side stroke make the right side weak? The weak side is opposite the side the actual stroke occurred.

I am hoping to have some official testing done in the next few months. My daughter has dyslexia, which may not have anything to do with the stroke. But, her eyes were turned in at birth, so she has had some visual perceptual problems. But, how much is stroke related is hard to tell. She definitely has some processing difficulties when it come to math, and she has attention problems. Her expressive and receptive language is hindered, and she definitely needs information given to her in small bits. She cannot process accurately what is said if it is said fast or if there is too much information. She goes to CP clinic at Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia, and it was recommended to have some neuro testing done and then a complete language evaluation. I tried to get her tested two times over the past few years, but each time it fell through because of insurance. Hopefully it will happen this time, and then I will have definite diagnosis I can share.

Since your son is young, I would keep alert to his language skills and anything out of the ordinary, which may be a result of the CP. Kindergarten was when the learning problems surfaced. The visual problems showed up in her writing, and math problems resulted in frustrations and her refusal to do her work. One thing that I never would have looked at as a processing issue was when she was young she would often say the opposite of what she really meant. We realized this one day when she said something that made it look like she was lying to me. So, she was disciplined for lying. She had this look on her face that made me realize she didn’t know why she was disciplined. So, in questioning further, I realized she said the opposite of what she really meant. Just a simple ‘no’ instead of ‘yes’ or vise versa. I felt so bad. From that day on I made sure she was using correct words before I came to a conclusion. She is doing better in this area, but in carrying on conversation, she uses words out of context and she may only catch bits and pieces of what someone says to her, so she often misunderstands what is being said because she misses important information.

I could go on, but you get the picture. I would recommend some additional testing by third grade if you know there are problems. It is said that 3rd grade is when the academic problems really surface, and I can attest to that. Third grade was awful. If I would have known what I know now, I would have somehow gotten her tested sooner. She is beginning 6th grade and I feel I have lost some time to get her on a good path academically. I believe what I have planned for this year should be positive, I look back and think, what if…… But, the time is gone, so I have to make the best of the years I have left. When I get some results, I will let you know, but I don’t expect any surprises, researching this for as long as I have. Schooling may not look the same for these children, but it can be rewarding. Focus on the child’s strengths. My daughter is musically gifted and has artistic talent in certain areas. She has had many opportunities in music, but I want to finally give her some formal art instruction. Math will still be an issue, but I want to make sure she is enjoying something along the way:)

I believe the neuropsychologist I will be using talks to the parent and then decides which testing is needed. The other recommendation is for a comprehensive language evaluation with basic language testing and higher language testing. I’m not sure if the neuropsychologist does that, or if someone else would do that. That is all I can tell you.

I agree that homeschooling is the best for these kids. I wouldn’t use public school regardless, but I tried putting her in Christian school for kindergarten, and it was not good. They aren’t set up for dealing with children with special needs. In public school, she would probably be in a life skills class. I think Mom is best to teach life skills to her children:)