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Math. Please give me some advice/encouragement
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My 8th grade ds is struggling. Currently we aren’t using a program but will have one shortly.
Here’s the situation:
He’s strong in the basics, and I mean basics but get into subtracting/multiplying fractions, converting, etc. and he starts to lose it. We have done a mastery program on just fractions and he did great (we took a break from his reg. program and just worked on fractions until it looked like he had it and that was quite a while ago). Now that he’s trying out some pre-algebra the assumption being that you have some things mastered is starting to show that he doesn’t. I know we could slow down, do the mastery program again, but my real dilemma is that I think there is something going on with his ability to retain the information. I hope this makes sense. He seems to have a great long term memory with certain things/subjects, but others, like spelling/reading, and now math concepts that I thought he had down, completely escape him. I know we could do a refresher and it would all come back but it seems to only come back for a short time (maybe he didn’t really know them in the first place, don’t know).
I guess I’m just thinking that there should be a layering going on, like I see in history for him. He seems to have a pretty good handle on time periods and the like. Maybe doesn’t remember every detail of every book he read when we did early modern times, but he definitely knows where to place most people/events. But reading/spelling/math are weak for him, in a way. He seems to have a way of showing good/great work but over the long haul he just can’t remember basics. Not in everything, mind you. He is a great saver of his money, can manage it just fine, has not problem with locations, geography, etc., something about his learning style is not jiving with mine and I don’t see things in the same way (I get that we’re 2 different people) but I still want to help him succeed in a way that makes sense to him. I know he can do it, I just don’t know what to use to get him there (and I realize I may need to use a combo of things or just stick to one program). I feel like we “do school” all day, so adding more work won’t help, he already “seems” to have a full plate. Maybe the effort he’s putting in isn’t really effort?? Could it be possible that he’s just going through the motions but not really retaining anything (from the subjects I mentioned)?? When we do SW, he rarely makes mistakes. When he gives a written narration, there are plenty of simple spelling errors. I try not to point them all out, I’m looking for content, but some of the words should not have to take any more effort to write because he knows them, really knows them, or I think he should.
*sigh*
Don’t know if this makes a hill of beans sense. I have to run, but wanted to see if anyone has a math suggestion that may fit my son’s needs. Modern Curriculum Press was recommended to me but I have no experience with it.
Thanks in advance if you are even able to get what I’m trying to say. I get that we all have strengths and weaknesses, but it’s concerning to me that someone could show that he understands, yet doesn’t really understand…public school, anyone?? That’s what I feel I’m dealing with. Like, for the test, it shows proficient, but in applying that knowledge, uh, not so much. I don’t at all think my ds is lazy…I’m actually more concerned that his vision/learning style or problems with learning is the root cause. My dh has many issues with the way subject matter is presented to him, as well. Very hands on. Just plain numbers mean diddly to him.
Anyway. Thanks in advance. I may need to purchase the new math handbook, tonight.
I am definitely leaning in that direction. I at least want to try it and I am familiar with it, so that is a plus.
I feel like I need to keep things in perspective and not get sooo worried over *math*. I know it’s important, but I’d like to be able to see the whole picture. His learning issues concern me, but I don’t want to make him feel bad, but the reality is, he seems to have issues with something. OR, just has a different learning style than mine and I can’t seem to relate. That’s probably closer to the truth.
I’m just venting right now. Thanks so much.
I can really identify with your son. Never understood math past the basic things that we all need to hold down a job or survive. I was a straight “A” kid until Algebra…and then I started to feel like no amount of trying was going to break down the wall of my understanding.
So, I guess what I am saying is that the math isn’t as important as his feeling like a smart and worthwhile kid. Because when you start feeling like you are ‘bad’ at a subject, that failure follows you into other areas.
And think about how much you, yourself, use fractions and algebra on a daily basis?!
I am not saying that it isn’t important, and I know you love him and know he can get this. Your heart is obviously to help him achieve his highest potential.
All I am saying is that it is SO much more important that he feels like a strong, capable human being than that he become a math whiz.
Philosophy aside, my kids use Teaching Textbooks (for obvious reasons). They LOVE it – do extra lessons. They GET it.
But, it is a grade level or so behind, in my opinion. That could work to your advantage, however, b/c the 8th grade may cover what you need him to learn without making him feel discouraged that he has ‘lost’ a level.
They have great sample lessons on their website, so that you know what you are getting before you purchase. Also, be sure that he does the workbook problem himself, and THEN enters the answer (as they recommend). No just doing the computer portion. This was essential for my kids to retain it. If he misses the problem, he gets a thorough (and encouraging) explanation of how to do it right, and sometimes a second chance.
Hope that is helpful. Your kid is great, and he is doing WAAAY better with you as a teacher than he would be doing in an 8th grade PS math class :-).
Thank you, I have considered TT in the past as well.
I am striving to not have my ds’s struggles in any area define who he is or what he capable of doing. I want that for all of my kids, but he’s my oldest and I worry over him more. All of my dc are going to have struggles and we are not going to be able to fix all of them or perfect everything (I think of myself and my dh, and we’re capable adults, functioning just fine:) but I hate to short change him or have him feel as my dh did as a child. He had some learning issues as well, but because of his temperment and just outright cry for help (in a not so pleasant way) he was labeled “troubled” and that followed him most of his life. He learns in a different way and the teachers did not want to deal with that or appreciate his ways. I’d like to do better for my dc. I’d at least like to work with them, get as far as we can, exhaust their potential and then say that we did our absolute best. Wherever we end up is good, as long as we really tried. And this ds I speak of is in no way “troubled”. He’s a cool as a cucumber.
I just want to keep that perspective and not ever make him (or any of my dc) feel less than just because numbers are perplexing. There are so many positives and I just want to learn to work with the struggles but not make them our masters. I really don’t like it when my dc try hard and they still feel like I’m disappointed in their efforts. That’s hard for me…I think I have a judgmental air about myself that I project toward others (not intending to, usually), and my dc feel that. I have no reason to judge, I am no better, but I think that is what I can project.
Funny how math issues are really people issues…homeschooling is so relational, it boggles my mind. I find it so fascinating.
Thanks again.
I have mentioned this before on another thread. Do you know what type of learner you son is? We recently discovered our daughter is a visual-spatial learner. Here is an article that you might find helpful in seeing if maybe your son is as well.
http://www.visualspatial.org/files/appenda.pdf
I switched to MEP math because it is supposed to work well for visual-spatial learners. Some say Math-U-See is also good but that’s what we’ve been using and I think the MEP is going to work better.
I did read the other threads and the article. I have tried, to no avail, to identify my dc’s learning styles because I think that would be so helpful. I’m just having trouble identifying them on my own. I think it’s one way, only to figure out that it’s another.
I’ll do some more research, thanks for the reminder.
I, too, want to put relationship first with each of my children. They are priority over school, hands down.
That said, I just wanted to tell you what my wise husband advised me a few months ago. I was struggling a lot like you with math and my son. He was getting into higher math, past the basics. I felt overwhelmed and was allowing my son to be mollycoddled by me because I felt emotionally sorry for him. (I didn’t know I was doing this of course) But my ds was learning from me to think that he could NOT do it and thus started to not fully apply his mind to the work at hand. My sensitivity was actually hindering him and instead of encouraging him. My hubby explained boys can easily manipulate this (even my sweet son!) and I need to be aware of it. I have 3 younger girls so it’s easily a sensitive household around here. 🙂
As far as curriculum, I’ve done Teaching Textbooks and now MUS. Servingwithjoy is right that TT is behind grade level, but it could be to your advantage. MUS is solid, and the workbook pages’ layout are easy on the eyes for kids who need visual space. Both TT and MUS have placement tests online to print if that would help.
Thanks, simple home, I agree with you (and your dh).
I was sharing with my dh last night about these issues and he simply said, “Okay, just start where he is and keep moving. If he needs pre-algebra/Algebra, or whatever to graduate, work toward that.” So simple, no emotional baggage attached, unlike momma, who feels emotionally vested in everything her dc do. I think some of the problems arise when I (or any mom) feel like their dc’s struggles are a reflection of their teaching skills, or lack of. In my case, that would be pride 🙂
My dh and I don’t share in all the hsing decisions, but there are times I really need that simple, concrete answer/suggestion. He seems to be able to love and give advice without all the fuss 🙂 My rambling would just make him crazy so he’s glad I have others to talk with and share my troubles, LOL.
Thanks ladies. I feel much better and have some focus. I just need to decide between a couple of programs and get started.
I forgot to mention this good reference post from Joanna (not sure if she is still a part of the forum). This may help put a mind at ease and somewhat reduce those math jitters. 🙂
http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/joanna-breaks-down-math-from-k-to-college
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