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look at eyes training?
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Hello,
has anyone had to literally teach your children to look at a person’s eyes when they are talking? How did you accomplish?? Been struggling with this for a few years. Experience and advice welcome 🙂
Well, my advice comes from my personal experience so take it as that 🙂 my son has autism which causes him to have very little eye contact. Most of the advice given is to “teach” him to do it…but we don’t. We explain to him that is important, however, we don’t force him to do it since children with sensory issues might feel extreme pain when looking at somebody in the eye. Some people can’t concentrate and listen carefully if they are trying to keep eye contact…so…when I want him to pay attention I don’t say “look at me!” Instead I say “listen to me!”
Some people (ASD or not) are just sensitive and eye contact is too much for them. Now, in your post you don’t mention when this is happening so I’m assuming is NOT due to disobedience such as them choosing not to look at you but ignore you. I’m assuming this is during everyday conversations where they are struggling to keep the eye contact.
Blessings!
Somehow my oldest daughter developed the habit of looking above a person’s head to talk to her. My husband is humorous (get off the fridge, honey, so she can look you in the eye!). I sometimes use my hand – to wave or make another movement that gets her attention. Sometimes I move my head; sometimes I look where she’s looking.
After about two years of doing this (and two younger daughters trying out the habit), I think we’ve got it under control. I think. 🙂
This is a pet peeve of mine – children not giving adults eye contact when an adult speaks to them.
On our way to church, in the past, we have reminded our kids to look people in the EYES when they are spoken to and if someone asks how they are doing, they are to say that they are fine AND “How are you?” Advance prepping has been very helpful for us and has made a big difference.
We have even had practice sessions at home where I pretend that I am an adult at church/grocery store and asking them how they are doing.
HTH!
I wish you could help me! I have been doing this all my life. And I don’t know why! I actually look into the person’s eye for a while, and then my eyes will look away ONLY while I am talking. I don’t do it while they are talking. I know it looks as though I have something to hide, but I don’t!
I hope you can break her of it, because I am 44 and it is quite embarrassing! I realize I do it, and try to go back to making eye contact.
I don’t have the greatest eyes. I tend to lose focus sometimes, so maybe that is it. I just don’t know!
Now someone is going to analyze me ..LOL..I probably need it! 🙂
This is what worked for us, my daughter was “shy” when she was younger but it always bothered me that she wouldn’t look at people when they talked to her. I started training her using the character trait of attentivness and how important it is to the other person when we look at them and give them our attention by looking them in the eye and focusing on what they were saying/asking. It was something we had to work on for awhile as she is stubborn but if she didn’t look people in the eyes, we would talk about it and say that we have to do the right thing even if it isn’t in our nature to do so. She is nine now and it is no longer a problem.
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