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Life has left us behind; what we can do Now to Love Learning
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Well, hello and thanks to all who will give loving and factual advice!!
I was devinely able to attend a Home Ed. Conference this past weekend and thankfully have a clearer idea of where I have been dreaming and trying to go, for the past 10 years of my oldest son’s life….. But How!!! Becuase of many situations in our life (I have a very large family on my side that occasionally needs help and then my DH is the oldest of a smaller family to which he has had to take over as the Patriarch in the last 4 years, to his mother, grandmother, and 2 younger sibblings), we have gotten behind in many areas of our homeschool odessy. My son is very quick to learn things and wants to learn, as long as it is learning to play. Bottom line: at 10(almost 11) he is (I think) behind in Math (though great at where he is and we are continuing to plod along), and FAR behind in Reading. All other subjects have taken a back burner, for some time now, so that we can concentrate on getting him stronger at Reading. Problem: Meltdowns at even a facial expression that might emply I want him to read something. (Character issue, umm yes that, too- like I said my whole being was thrown more into reading). I have stressed so much over his ability to read because in my thinking if you can read, if you develope a love of learning, well, there’s nothing you can’t learn. My heart has always been a CM approach, but did not hear about it until he was about 6, by then so much ‘damage’ was done that I feared anything other than an aggressive approach. So… I have dabbled in every method. YOu name and yes would be the answer. So, needless to say eventhough I have stock piles of great living books, I didn’t emplement pure CM methods (except for reading every chance I got) because I didn’t know how to transfer my thinking to that style in the entirety that seems to be fully needed here. I have a 4 almost 5 year old whom I would like to envolve her more with our school day ( she shows great desire to read and pretends to read at least on a weeklly basis). My DS is also involved in a tutorial style L.A. class that uses more of a CM progam- MCT curriculum; he detest the physical writing of anything but has learned so much! So, finally, here is my question: What are the advantages and disadvantages to getting the Delightful Reading program to reteach my DS, while doing nothing else but reading the adventurous living books that he will hopefully love. So, no math, even though he needs to be beyond multiplication at this point and is only on adding and subtracting (Beta), no history or geography, and only going to listen to his L.A. class rather than actually doing the practice work. Or is there another approach to this to get him back on track- he was a great reader at one point, but life threw our family a curve ball and we backslid down the hill. Should it be grouped with Delightful Writing at some point, should we spend only a portion of time with reading focus, then adding gradually the other subject by priority? As, you can see I am one confused lady!!! What would be your approach/strategy to ammend this problem? Anyone who needed to make a similar action plan? Thanks to all of you for helping me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mombygrace- Don’t be discouraged. There is hope! Seek the Lord and ask Him to give you wisdom from this forum and elsewhere. I think that you are very wise to focus on reading first and strengthening those skills before anything else.
Maybe it would help to get Dad involved in homeschooling if he has time.
When you say he was a great reader at one point, what kinds of books was he reading? Was he reading on his own or out loud to you?
Another thought is that when you remove things like tv and video games, then kids seem to have a greater interest in reading. That may be too extreme for some people, but it worked well for us.
I don’t know if DR would be the best choice for an older child or not. Maybe others could give direction on the best curriculum for that age?
Good advice from Lishie. I think you need to keep the math. If he is a reluctant learner, use very short lessons, consistently each day. With short lessons, you will have time for math still. Check your pm too, and welcome to the SCM forum!
Please let me direct you to some great articles on here:
on short lessons:
http://simplycharlottemason.com/2012/05/30/three-basic-cm-principles-subject-by-subject-part-2/
On the “gentleness” of CM:
http://simplycharlottemason.com/2011/09/14/is-charlotte-mason-a-gentle-approach-part-1/
On teaching reading:
http://simplycharlottemason.com/2011/01/05/pre-reading-activities-teaching-reading-part-2/
I’ll just share a bit of my experience with this and maybe it will help you to be less discouraged anyway! Just wanted to say that my oldest son/second child did not really read until he was 10. I mean that’s when “learning to read” actually really happened for him. We had been trying to learn to read since he was 5 or 6 (if I have another child like that, we won’t go there again) and it was grueling. Do I need to let up? Do I need to come down harder? Is he not ready? Is he not able? I’m causing him to hate school. Or is he causing himself to hate school? You know it all I’m sure from what you’re sharing. I accidentally stumbled on the answer for us one day at the library. I went through the beginning beginner shelf book by book. My criteria was…big print and no more than two lines per page. I got them all (probably 15-20 at that little library) and took them home. I forget exactly how it went…but something like this. “B…., as soon as you’re done with these, I’ll go get you some more.” He read them all in a couple of days and I had to make good on my promise. I never dreamed it would work that way!! I think the key was, he needed that to build his confidence. He really though he couldn’t read, but I know he could. So, I made it so easy, that he was able to belive it too. Now I don’t know if that’s part of the issue for you or not. but maybe something in this will strike you helpful…and if not…maybe the next reply will!!! Wishing you the best…
Julie
Keep the advice coming!!! I greatly appreciate the time all of you have and will take to help me figure this out…
Just a few info. fill in’s: My dh has precious little time much more than just family time with me and the kids, between his work and family obligations he is already stretched far more than myself, but he does do what he can. We do have a television (for only video viewing- no cable or likewise), a computer, and a wii, but the total amout of screen time my children get is about 5 hrs a week, which we spend educationally or for family time- -and he has a firm understanding that it is a privelage. There have been several days within the week that they do not see it at all- they love to play far more than sitting still long enough to watch a full video. Though there have been and always will be exceptions. He just loves being in his world of play. Legos, building sets, hide-and-seek, or pretty much any game that is active, or swimming makes his heart sing. While he hates reading, he detest the physical aspects of writing. Telling a story, he could take up the whole day doing. I see his stong God given gifts of talking, building, making personal relationships with every person he meets, having wonderful warm personality, and so many other wonderful attributes. But that alone will not get him very far as an adult, nor do I believe that God desires for me to be comfortable with him not learning the skill of reading, writing, and then articulating on paper what is in his head. He could read above his grade level in K-2, but when we had his little sister and extended family matters came into play there was just a snow ball effect down hill.
He is absolutely a “child under stress”. I can’t help but to believe that as his main teacher, I have put the majority of the stress on him. Unknowingly, I feel my stresses were spilling out on him in various way, especially concerning his education. When school comes into play and sometimes just daily situations can cause him to become very frustrated or even angry. We don’t have disciplinary issues ;and by that I don’t mean that we never have a reason to discipline, we do, but on the whole he corrects his misbehavior. We more or less have an attitude problem (which I know is a heart issue, and therefore God is the doctor) Reading and writing how ever are not something I feel need disciplinary actions- I’ve done this in the past and feel it was one of the mistakes I’ve made to compoud the problem for both he and I. It only put more unneeded presure on him. I wish I could go back and have found a mentor that knew all styles of home educating, not just traditional. Now, here I am wanting to reverse the damage, I am thankful that God has kept my head above water and has continued to walk me along from divine meeting to divine meeting, and am at this moment hoping that He will once again show His provision by using you wise women and men to assist in my education travels. Frankly, I would also like to request pray for us, that we will be given wisdom in our choice, gentleness of speech, and favor with our chidren and each other as h and w.Thanks again, we need all the advice you can spare as to what might be the best solution and/or program for the situation.
-MK
I can’t give a whole lot of advice, and certainly not in regards to the CM method. I’m at the same point as you in this transition.
I just wanted to share that your ds sounds JUST like mine, including his age. We are finishing up the add/sub facts and will be starting Mult (probably w/ Gamma) next week. We are going to be focusing on some heart issues, too. There has been a LOT happening here, too, w/ myself, family dynamics, and just overall issues. I just want to let you know that they will move on, and fairly quickly. Thankfully, they are still young enough at this point to easily “catch up” and get “on track.” (My dd is 2 yrs older and is a bit “behind,” too. It really is OK.) The biggest thing to your benefit and his is that you are recognizing things and looking to help and move forward. It will work out.
As for helping him w/ reading, my dc really like Phonics Pathways and the corresponding book, Reading Pathways. It’s not baby-ish in any way. It teaches from the beginning and allows you to move as fast or as slow as you/he needs(s). There are even pages to use as a “test” to see where you need to start or what to work on. I’m familiar w/ a couple of other good books/programs but can’t say much about Delightful Reading. I found this site well after starting w/ my 2 youngest and what we had was working, for the most part. My ds needs to finish w/ learning to read but is doing OK. Between what I have in mind, can use, and AAS for spelling, we’ll be good to go, I would think.
I will be watching this thread myself. It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one in this situation.
K
My suggestion would be to find the correct level of reading that he is at and lay the feast before him according to his likes not yours at this point. You can require things later after he falls in love with reading 🙂 With my struggling reader I tried various books to “entice” her to love reading. Books that I thought were good, fun, etc… One day I bought a few books for various children in the family and one was a Nancy Drew mystery. My struggling reader asked if she could read it. I kind of laughed to myself (thinking that it was way too hard for her) but said sure go ahead. Thinking that she’d get frustrated on her own and go back to the simpler books that I had picked out for her. In 3 to 4 years of reading she had never been excited to read any of it. Guess what? She devoured that Nancy Drew and had the whole thing read in about 2 or 3 days! And begged for more! The mystery enticed her and left her wanting to read more to see what happened next. She’s 9 and has been reading willingly, even eagerly, by self motivation for the last few weeks! I truly believe it was about laying the feast before her. Along this same note my 6 year old keeps begging to read the CLP Nature Readers. I and another child thought they were a bit boring – he’s loving them! He thinks all those facts about bugs are awesome. We need to light a fire in our children and that is what a feast layed before them does. Figure out what lights his fire and he’ll be reading in no time!
Agreeing with lighting the fire. For what it’s worth, I also remember my son latching on to joke books – knock, knocks and little riddles, etc. Then he would share them all with Grandpa. Fun (for him) and VERY easy, sounds like a start to me.
My son is almost 10 and struggled more at reading then my others but one major issue I found was that he didn’t like what he was reading! For my girls it seems so easy to find them a book but definitely more of a challange with DS. Some of the easier readers he liked were Frog and Toad, Nate the Great and the Time Warp Trio books. Probably considered twaddle but I had to keep him reading! Have you heard of Reading Eggs? Its an online reading program that helps kids read (there are some games). The ladies on this forum always give such good advice I will leave it at that. Home schooling is such a challange but so worth it in the end. Hugs!
I was devinely able to attend a Home Ed. Conference this past weekend and thankfully have a clearer idea of where I have been dreaming and trying to go, for the past 10 years of my oldest son’s life….. But How!!! Becuase of many situations in our life (I have a very large family on my side that occasionally needs help and then my DH is the oldest of a smaller family to which he has had to take over as the Patriarch in the last 4 years, to his mother, grandmother, and 2 younger sibblings), we have gotten behind in many areas of our homeschool odessy. My son is very quick to learn things and wants to learn, as long as it is learning to play. Bottom line: at 10(almost 11) he is (I think) behind in Math (though great at where he is and we are continuing to plod along), and FAR behind in Reading. All other subjects have taken a back burner, for some time now, so that we can concentrate on getting him stronger at Reading. Problem: Meltdowns at even a facial expression that might emply I want him to read something. (Character issue, umm yes that, too- like I said my whole being was thrown more into reading). I have stressed so much over his ability to read because in my thinking if you can read, if you develope a love of learning, well, there’s nothing you can’t learn. My heart has always been a CM approach, but did not hear about it until he was about 6, by then so much ‘damage’ was done that I feared anything other than an aggressive approach. So… I have dabbled in every method. YOu name and yes would be the answer. So, needless to say eventhough I have stock piles of great living books, I didn’t emplement pure CM methods (except for reading every chance I got) because I didn’t know how to transfer my thinking to that style in the entirety that seems to be fully needed here. I have a 4 almost 5 year old whom I would like to envolve her more with our school day ( she shows great desire to read and pretends to read at least on a weeklly basis). My DS is also involved in a tutorial style L.A. class that uses more of a CM progam- MCT curriculum; he detest the physical writing of anything but has learned so much! So, finally, here is my question: What are the advantages and disadvantages to getting the Delightful Reading program to reteach my DS, while doing nothing else but reading the adventurous living books that he will hopefully love. So, no math, even though he needs to be beyond multiplication at this point and is only on adding and subtracting (Beta), no history or geography, and only going to listen to his L.A. class rather than actually doing the practice work. Or is there another approach to this to get him back on track- he was a great reader at one point, but life threw our family a curve ball and we backslid down the hill. Should it be grouped with Delightful Writing at some point, should we spend only a portion of time with reading focus, then adding gradually the other subject by priority? As, you can see I am one confused lady!!! What would be your approach/strategy to ammend this problem? Anyone who needed to make a similar action plan? 
He is absolutely a “child under stress”. I can’t help but to believe that as his main teacher, I have put the majority of the stress on him. Unknowingly, I feel my stresses were spilling out on him in various way, especially concerning his education. When school comes into play and sometimes just daily situations can cause him to become very frustrated or even angry. We don’t have disciplinary issues ;and by that I don’t mean that we never have a reason to discipline, we do, but on the whole he corrects his misbehavior. We more or less have an attitude problem (which I know is a heart issue, and therefore God is the doctor) Reading and writing how ever are not something I feel need disciplinary actions- I’ve done this in the past and feel it was one of the mistakes I’ve made to compoud the problem for both he and I. It only put more unneeded presure on him. 
I wish I could go back and have found a mentor that knew all styles of home educating, not just traditional. Now, here I am wanting to reverse the damage, I am thankful that God has kept my head above water and has continued to walk me along from divine meeting to divine meeting, and am at this moment hoping that He will once again show His provision by using you wise women and men to assist in my education travels. Frankly, I would also like to request pray for us, that we will be given wisdom in our choice, gentleness of speech, and favor with our chidren and each other as h and w.
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