Lies "you" believe

How about starting at 8:00 (not school, the morning routine) or whatever is comfortable for you. And decide on one thing to start with…not everything at once. Add one more when that’s rolling nicely…be cheerful yourself, and eventually they will follow! We’ve had to struggle with this too! No perfection here…just a lot of REAL LIFE! But order is very helpful – and I’m working toward that.

I second a whole lot of what you’re saying. Today was a bit of a “battle day” in my mind because my son came home from an overnight stay at his dad’s full of all kinds of talk about how I don’t care about him because I haven’t rushed him off to the dentist to check on a slow-to-erupt permanent tooth (his dad’s live-in girlfriend told him that)….I should have him in public school because he has no friends (again, the girlfriend told him this)….and a few other choice things that made me feel very sad.

All of this sadness took its toll as I looked around to see the chores left undone, the habits we’ve spent too little time on, and the difficulty I have getting things done while trying to settle down an agitated special needs child. I had the hardest time pushing away thoughts of being a bad parent, even though I kept telling myself that I am, in fact, a loving parent who tries hard to do what she thinks is best. Even my youngest daughter kept telling me, “You know that’s not true–you’re a good mom!” Her encouragement helped, but it was still a struggle.

You’re absolutely right about this coming down to one’s personal walk with Jesus; if I wasn’t close to Him at all, I’d be drowning in those negative thoughts from the Father of Lies. I would add that I know I sometimes feel so emotionally exhausted by family demands that I slide into semi-laziness because I long for time for myself. The funny thing is, the more I lament about not finding time for a short nap or a few moments to put my nose into a leisure book, the less time I actually spend on myself…..plus even less gets accomplished for the day! Sometimes I think I should just tell myself, “Too bad that you can’t go take a bubble bath; so what? Now just go wash some dishes!”

I do have a morning routine and my kids run like a well oiled machine. Most days anyway. But most of this is because of necessity. I work pm’s and don’t get to bed until 0130 so I need as much sleep as I can get. The kids get up at 0730 do chores which include getting dressed and brushing hair, and they eat breakfast on their own. By then I usually am up and they start exercising for 15 min or so before we start school at 0900. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays three of my four go to ps for art and phy ed class (new for us this year, which they really like but is hard on me, but that is another subject). So those days they are up at 0630 and on the bus at 0725. I go back to bed and get up to read a book to my youngest and then go get the others at 1030. Most days I stay in my pj’s until I get ready for work. I am at home and I want to be comfortable. My kids have occasional pj days too. It would probably be more if we didn’t go anywhere.

The things I worry about are not eating good enough meals although I also know we eat better than a lot of people. I also, and this comes especially after sending my kids to ps even if it is only for art and put ed, that we are way behind in writing and spelling. My third and fourth grader can’t even spell color words and some numbers! At least that is what happened today. I am looking back at the CM Companion and got some reminders and reassurances from that today.

I think we should go where we are led. If something bothers you then start working on fixing it. But know that somewhere out there is some one else having the same issues or worries.

Ha! I was only in the US Navy for four years but I can’t get it out of me ! (not that I try).

Boy!  I wish my life was the way suzukimom said…we’ve already had a meltdown because PS is out for snow day, and I am insisting that we do stuff…like our handicrafts, creative art, and Shakespeare while it “warms” up outside so we can venture down to the creek to explore the frozen stuff for nature study, then home for hot chocolate and Thumbelina. Ugh…this is the stuff they beg to do ususally, so I am frustrated.  I thought it sounded fun, especially since Dad is here to do it with us.  It’s not even snow, it’s just ice.

I worry about my kids being behind in math…and I know that we love zoology, but not so much chemistry.  Am I really preparing them to be ready for life?  I don’t manage to do full school every.single.day of the week according to my ideal schedule so I tend to stress over that.  We do a lot, but I also tend to keep the kids indoors during PS hours so I don’t have to deal with the officials getting a phone call about my kids. sigh  Occasionally, they do play history, so I guess I can put that in the “Good Me” bag, right?  LOL

Then there are those days when we are fairly on top of it, and I like them so much.  But the maintainence needed to do it every single day isn’t really practical for us to also ENJOY life, so I aim for them, but am learning to appreciate the journey instead of always crying over that sink of dishes.  Usually the floors are tidy before bed in the main living area, but I also have learned that just as I like my stuff out during a project, so do my kids! That gave me “permission” to relax about the entire village of houses, people and animals on the floor, unless it is a big jumbled pile, grrrr!

Last night I left the kids coats hanging over the tub where they were drying, the toys on the floor, and put a towel over the little spot that was accidently peed in overnight so I didn’t have to find extra blankets for the couch. I usually have dishes in the sink to be washed…no dishwasher here.  Am I a bad mom?  Maybe, but I think it is more a reality than people want to admit out loud.

I was thinking about my previous post, and thought I should clarify myself!  We do dishes everyday (can’t eat if we don’t) but not after every meal.  We never have a house where people aren’t welcome or I’d be embarassed to ask them in, but in real life, I am not the mom who insists on a picture perfect house every minute, or we wouldn’t be able to LIVE or LEARN. =)  We do regularly clean and do laundry (and change wet sheets). 😉

I think we all have our insecurities in homeschooling and parenting! We are up, fed, dressed, chores done (mostly by the children) and have started school before 9am. We are also done by lunch. That’s just us. With pregnant mom versus seven young children routine for our morning is essential for survival. Then afternoons and evenings are free. My kids don’t always enjoy their schoolwork and sometimes we even have meltdowns over it!

However my sister homeschools her four kids and they are totally our opposite. She sleeps in, the older boys get up to spend time playing video games and they feed the little girls. They don’t have chores and they usually begin homeschool in the afternoon on purpose. It works perfectly for them!

I think we give ourselves far to little grace. Each family is individual and our homeschooling and family routines should reflect that!! Of course my husband has to remind me of that some days..LOL.

My biggest insecurity at the moment is probably with my oldest, the guinea pig for everything. I haven’t seen yet that trusting this CM method will bear fruit in Middle School and High School, so I’ve had to sit on my hands some as she’s well into 6th grade so I don’t get all crazy and add things to her workload just because of my own insecurity.