Name: Thrive! NCHE Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-05-22T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-24T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Winston-Salem, NC

This topic has 9 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by bcbbmom.

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)

Author
Posts
October 20, 2016 at 10:09 am
bcbbmom
Participant
I have gone back and forth over this topic for over a year now, and I would love some input from other moms. I always said that if I had a child with a summer birthday, I would wait a year to start kindergarten. Of course, back when I said that, my oldest 3 were deep in the public school system. My youngest turned 5 on May 28, and while that isn’t technically “summer”, it is after our school year ends. Having graduated one child, and another who will graduate this year (with a late April birthday), I think further into the future than I did years ago. I think I’d rather have my youngest go to college a little older, rather than just barely turning 18.
She’s bright, and can handle kindergarten, but the further I go in this homeschooling life, the more valuable I think a gentle education is for young children.
I did order the kindergarten curriculum from MFW, and we’re just having fun with it. Some days we get to it, some days we just do other things. Regardless, she’s learning every day. My heart wants to spread kindergarten into 2 years, but if I’m being honest, I’m worried about what people will say. Not worried, like losing sleep over it, but our extended family already thinks we’re nuts & won’t even speak of homeschooling with us. If I’m being really honest, I don’t even want to focus on what grade level she is….but of course, when we go out into the world, people want to know these things. 😉
I’d love some thoughts, advice, or any words of wisdom you all may have. Thanks so much.
October 20, 2016 at 1:16 pm
KMHStore
Participant
Don’t know how much this will help but I faced a similar dilemma with my oldest who is now 7. Her birthday is August 15 and while she was ready academically for 1st grade last year, I kept her back.
Why? Partly because 99% of people I respected advised me to keep her back. Partly because I wanted to spend more time last year on field trips and adventures and playing outside than academics. Partly because I didn’t want her to graduate and go to college too early (I have friends graduating their kids at 16/17 and having them do a gap year because they aren’t developmentally ready for college.) And partly because my birthday is August 31st and I went to a private school and attended church and almost always preferred to socialize with the class below me.
It was a hard decision to make and pray through and 2 things helped us finally decide. It didn’t matter for homeschooling in our state. Only for church. Anyway, (1) Our children’s director at church stopped me and said that it didn’t matter at all now whether she was in kindergarten or 1st grade but that her age would matter when she got to 5th grade and that we wouldn’t want her too young when she entered the middle school program. Then she advised us to hold my daughter back based on that. Then (2) the kindergarten class moved upstairs to the 1st grade over the summer and my daughter refused to stay. The format was lecture and then discussion questions. My daughter just wasn’t ready for that.
So we kept her back in kindergarten for a 2nd year at church last year and let her do arts and crafts and children’s church. And at home I called her “pre-1st”. And for her academics, we just kept on keeping on. If we finished the kindergarten materials, we went on to the 1st grade materials. I don’t regret our decision.
Good luck with your decision. I don’t really think there is a “right” answer and that’s what makes it so hard.
October 20, 2016 at 5:00 pm
HollyS
Participant
My 7YO has a fall b-day and that’s pretty much what we did with her. Having two years took the pressure off of things, so we’d call it a day if she lost interest or wanted to do other things.
Also, the more we homeschool, the less I worry about grades. She actually did a mix of K and 1st materials for ages 4-6, and I just gave her a grade label based on her birthday so she’d have something to tell people when they asked what grade she was in. This year she’s doing a mix of 1st and 2nd grade materials, but I officially call her a 1st grader. Whatever you decide to do is fine…give them a grade level to tell others, but use materials appropriate for your child even if the grade levels don’t match.
October 20, 2016 at 7:02 pm
petitemom
Participant
My youngest will be 7 in November and we are still doing MFW grade K.
I actually called the company about it because part of me just wanted to move on to first grade but they suggested we do a faster version (2 letters/week) of K until Christmas and reevaluate then.
I do not tell people who do not homeschool about this as I don’t think they would understand. I have to say I get anxious sometimes that we will be stuck in K forever but that is probably unlikely!! 😉
October 20, 2016 at 10:47 pm
Renee Gould
Participant
bcbbmom;
I loved your post.:-) I think you should do exactly what you want with regards to your daughter and your homeschool schedule. My son is a June baby and I didn’t start him in kindergarten until the fall after his 6th birthday. He is constantly asked what grade he is in and at church he is in with kids quite a bit younger than him. For some reason, this doesn’t bother me a bit. I didn’t do it for social reasons, I did it to let him be a kid longer and hang out with his brother and sister and just, ‘be’. I guess I have faith that he will learn everything he needs to learn in the time we have together.
I do not know why, but I do not worry at all about grades. In fact, I think they are silly. And yes, my family thinks I am crazy…but, that all started with me having home births and not vaccinating! 🙂 So, I am way used to it by now. ha!
Like you said, as you get older and more homeschool years under your belt, you realize that schooling is not the most important thing you impart on your children. Relating and being together and enjoying life are just as important. I am so off the grid, that I don’t even worry about college. I just ‘know’ that we will cover everything they need to know and it doesn’t have to look like traditional school. This is hard to explain to most people.
When you are alone with God and you get your ‘gut’ feeling about what you want to do confirmed, do it.:-) There is plenty of time to teach her what you want her to know.
Blessings,
Renee
October 21, 2016 at 5:51 am
2Corin57
Participant
I look at it this way:
Finland, the country with the one of the best academic standings in the world, does not even remotely start learning until age 7.
Waldorf education, does not start learning until age 7.
100-200 years ago, most children that attended school only received 4-6 years of formal education, and their vocabulary, grammar and writing skills far surpass our own today.
Charlotte Mason herself, does not recommend starting academics until age 6 (so not even this year!)
If you want to look back at the history of education starting at the Medieval age, clear back to the Greek and Roman beginnings of education, it was approached much differently in the classical world: a child learned the art of grammar, logic and rhetoric first, and then the work in the sciences (including math) did not start until they were much older, into their teens.
Over the thousands of years of history of education, it has always traditionally started later and/or lasted less time – and I would say, produced better results. Many of our greatest academics, thinkers, inventors and innovators have come from an era of delayed academics and/or less academics: Copernicus, Galileo, Einstein, Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, Abe Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Johannes Kepler and this is just a tiny fraction of them.
While, I would tell you it really doesn’t matter what people think or say, because it’s your job to do what you feel in your heart is best for your child, you could always tell them to look at history, other countries, and to learn about other educational models.
So, for starters, I would say – don’t even feel you need to do MFW this year! Feel free to give her another year of just play and cuddling in your lap reading stories. Put MFW off until next year. However, if you want to continue it, then by all means, feel free to spread it out over two years. Perhaps just do it 2-3 days a week.
Really, the most important things we can teach a child before the ages of 6 are to enjoy reading (a far different skill than learning how to read), to observe (focus on Nature Study, teach them to pay attention and observe the world around them), and of course to be obedient and love the Lord. If we can teach a young child those things in the early years, then we have laid an excellent future for when academics start.
October 21, 2016 at 9:08 am
bcbbmom
Participant
Wow. Thank you all so much for sharing your wisdom and thoughts! Reading your replies made me a little emotional, as I feel like this is somewhat of a confirmation of the direction I need/want to go. It feels right to take things a little slower, and I’m so very thankful that with homeschooling, I have the freedom to do that. 🙂

October 21, 2016 at 9:45 am
jmac17
Participant
You have had some great advice. My addition is simply this. Homeschooling is so very different from public school that grades are irrelevant. We say that my kids are ‘in’ the same grade as their same-age peers at church (their main social group.) Then, we do whatever is appropriate for their education at whatever pace works for them. The only subject we do that even has any type of level attached to it is math, and only because it is generally sequential. Any other subject can be done in any order, so grades are meaningless.
So, for example, in “Kindergarten” my oldest daughter was reading things like The Chronicles of Narnia independently and doing math that was considered grade 2, because that’s what she was ready for. For “Kindergarten” my son, 2 years younger, did basically everything his older sister did for her ‘Grade 2’ year, because they are inseparable and do everything together and he just soaks up learning. However, my youngest daughter’s “Kindergarten” was lots of playing, voluntarily copying words from books (because the older siblings did copywork) even though she couldn’t read a word, and listening to read-aloud books much more advanced than most kids her age, because she listened to books that the other children were ready for.
Do what is appropriate for the child, label it whatever grade makes sense for their age, and ignore anyone who has a problem with that.
October 25, 2016 at 2:29 pm
mtnmama
Participant
One reason we homeschool is to defy labels and do what is best of our individual kids.
My oldest two 2 years on K but is working at grade level now with no problem, even works a year ahead in math. My youngest did K with his next older brother so when he was 5 he was more than ready for 1st grade. Still works a year ahead in school work but at co-op and church, he is in with 1st graders because they are his social peers.
November 19, 2016 at 7:35 pm
bcbbmom
Participant
Just wanted to thank you all again for your wonderful advice. I had to read all these again to get myself ready for the questions that we’ll get over the holidays from my husband’s family. 😉 I’m prepared now! ha!