Kids hate taking foreign lang…what to do

I’d be tempted to stop!  It might get better, and maybe someone here will have better advice for you.  But we stopped trying Spanish (I couldn’t seem to find a curriculum we liked) and are now doing Sign Language.  And we’re enjoying it.  I’m using a DVD, short lessons, and we do it every day for just a couple minutes.

Karen – what DVD are you using for ASL? We used the Signing Time DVDs when my girls were younger and I haven’t found anything like it for older kids/adults.

The right teacher is so important, so maybe you could talk to other parents to see if they have any suggestions. This particular class and teacher might not be a good fit for your daughter with Asperger’s. I agree that sign language might be a better option for her. If your other daughter is interested in learning French, you might have her keep trying for awhile longer.

All things considered, there is still time for them to begin a foreign language. I would consider waiting another year or maybe two.

I have no advice to give…just a perspective.

I know about immersion, and it sure has its advantages and disadvantages. I was totally immersed in French as a third grader (I grew up in rural West Africa), and for me, it was pretty traumatic to go to school and not understand a word. It was really a “sink-or-swim” situation, and at first I dropped like a rock. I sat in class but positively refused to get involved in school at all. I felt SO alone for two years as an elementary student. My brother had it worse, though…his teacher would slap his face because he couldn’t write in cursive in first grade!

We had a private tutor after school who helped us with the basics for an hour every day, though. He (Eli) spoke English and French, but his first lessons were entirely in French. He very very patiently made us repeat a few vocabulary words for us every day. His goal was to get us just to say and understand a few new words every day…beginning with the objects on our front porch where we had our lessons. He didn’t rush us or pressure us or make us try to keep up with school. After a couple weeks of that, Eli brought a thick bilingual textbook (nothing glitzy–just black and white–simple text and simple drawings) that we worked through. Then after a year, we progressed to the grammar and orthography books that we were using in the French school in which I was “immersed.” Then Eli just helped us with our homework and we were off and running in French–and by the third year, I was almost at the top of the class! But I wasn’t happy–I was a perfectionist and doing well in French school literally became by identity. Even as an adult I still had to conquer it somehow and studied translation in France just to prove to myself that I could!

For us, immersion was hard. Unfortunately, our first teachers didn’t care about my brother or me…my teacher didn’t even tell my parents I was flunking until she happened to bump into them in the grocery store. I don’t think I could have made it without Eli, who essentially took us aside and taught us the basics in a way we could understand and then helped me catch up on a year’s worth of homework because nobody told me that “devoir” meant homework! (However, in all honesty, I didn’t think “devoir” was the type of word I wanted in my vocabulary anyway! So I never asked.)

I have no idea how someone with Aspergers would feel in an immersion situation–even a single lesson. But I do know that I felt completely out of control, lost, and I virtually shut down in school for two years. It wasn’t just the language though–there was a bit of bullying going on too. Total immersion was isolation for me, but there were really no other options for us. I am thankful I eventually learned to “swim.” It was part of God’s growing me.

I became an ESL teacher and at times had to use immersion techniques because my classroom was international and English has to be the lingua franca. But I never forget how uncomfortable it can be for a student. Other times I do use the students’ native language if I know it and if it is absolutely necessary, but I try to avoid it. Sometimes class morale requires you to talk to them in their native language. Sometimes there’s got to be give-and-take, as when I had a college roommate for a few months who spoke nothing but Spanish and I knew not a single word of it. I learned some Spanish, and she learned some English and we had a great time.

I am not threatened by immersion anymore–I find it fun now if there is nothing else that is frightening going on. I wouldn’t want to be immersed as POW, for example.

How do your kids learn everything else? Do they prefer to study independently by reading books and figuring things out on their own? Do they need videos? Computers? Songs to help them memorize? Private lessons? There are lots of learning styles, and immersion isn’t for everyone if you have other choices. What are the other issues surrounding their dislike of the class? Maybe they just have to get over a certain character issue and they can do it. Maybe they need some support (like I had) to make them feel more prepared for the class.

I hope to hear more from you!

Kari

I think learning a new language is tough: finding the right program is the first hurdle and the second is keeping your children interested.

We’ve gone through a handful of programs and the one that is working this year and only this year is Duolingo. It’s free and online and we highly recommend it.

They have many different languages and a phone app as well.