Keeping Twaddle At Bay

Hi Amanda,

  I don’t know if this will help you at all.  I often find myself in the same dilemma !  A lot of the twaddle that we accumulate comes from well intentioned friends and family who don’t quite understand the difference.  Because our choice to homeschool was met with some apprehension, I do not feel right about not taking these gifts because I see it as the olive branch that it is.  They are trying to be supportive, even though they don’t really agree with us.  So, sometimes, if the books the kids are given ( which is usually quite a few) are just not quite right I will let them be read but always discussed so that certain “twaddly” things can be pointed out for what they are.  Then they are put away.  If the book in question is completely unsuitable I will keep them for a while in a place that is “out of the way” so to speak and then just get rid of them.  I have had to  say things like “these books are not really the best out there, I think we can find something better that will be just as interesting for you.”  I am trying to refine my children’s tastes slowly so that they are able to discern the difference themselves.  Sometimes I have had to pick my battles, though.  It is a concern of mine as well. 

O.K. that probably did not help you at all!  I basically just said, in so many words, that I have the same problem!

  Maybe there is someone out there who could help both of us!

Perhaps you could suggest to well meaning friends and relatives that they give gift certificates to a book store or something like that, because the children like to help choose what they want to read.  It is hard – MIL used to go to the sales and buy boxes of clothes to send to us for the girls, most of which was really unsuitable – but she said she got the whole lot for $20!  Not to be ungrateful, we took a photo of the girls wearing one of the less objectionable items and sent it to her – then we donated everything.  The girls first Christmas when they were just 1 year old, they received 40 stuffed animals including an absolutely gigantic bear which filled a living room chair – my MIL said it was to keep them company in college!!  Needless to say the girls are now young adults and we don’t have those things, and they have never missed them.  They have one or two soft animals that they collected, but the rest gone – they gave someone pleasure I am sure.  Sometimes, you cannot do much but grin and put up with it and try and guide them – maybe you could put a list out of books the children are wanting to read, and encourage them that way – my mum was good, she always asked and then would actually listen, other relatives and friends were different and we ended up with lots of unsuitable things.  Good luck – the main thing is that each and everyone of them is well meaning – and perhaps we just need to nudge them in a new direction, if that is not possible, oh well, gently and quietly donate.  Blessings – Linda

amandajhilburn,

Something I realized just recently is that I need to let my kids see the “human” side of me–the side that makes mistakes, that I’m still learning too, and that I don’t always have everything figured out. They need to see that Momma is a real person too, who is learning right along with them. 

When we first learned about CM and started implementing her methods into our family about a year and a half ago, there were a lot of books on my children’s bookshelves that were worse than twaddle. We had Dora, Diego, Blue’s Clues, Clifford, you name it, and we had it! I had never heard the term “twaddle” before in my life, but I immediately recognized those books fit into the twaddle category, and that they needed to go. Some of them I had even bought for my children!

Well, to make a long story short, I simply had to tell them that Momma was learning new things that were going to help and strengthen our family and that those books didn’t fit into the new plan. I assured them they would be receiving LOTS of new and better books to replace the ones we had to toss. I also explained that the new books would be full of wonderful and exciting stories, not “this same old Dora story you’ve been reading since you were a baby”. That got them excited! Now, when I’m ordering new books off the Internet, we all eagerly wait together and check the mail every day to see if our wonderful story books have arrived. They get just as excited as me! AND, I find myself needing to hide the new resources because they can’t wait to get their hands on them!

The book your son put away today is a great example of something that could probably easily be donated or tossed since he most likely won’t be interested in it anymore anyway.

Don’t feel bad for allowing your children to read twaddle, if that’s what they’ve had. Now that you know better, you can make them a part of improving the family’s library. In my experience, if kids know they’re going to be getting something better than what they already have, they have no problems tossing the old stuff.

Blessings,

Lindsey 

I was just having this problem, except I was thinking of just putting the twaddle up on the high shelf for use every now and then. I am not sure though.

I find if I let them help me get rid of it they are more willing to. They know some children have no books or toys, so they understand they have more than enough to “share”.