Keeping relationships paramount

This is a great topic, and a huge balancing act!

I think there are a few things we have done and will continue to do that are helping us find this balance.

1. Vocalize the laws. “Why do I have to do math?” is met with “it is the law in our state and if we do not follow the law we can be put in jail” is much more easily accepted than “because you’ll need it later on/because I say so”.

2. Discuss adult life as an adventure that takes hard work. What things were you not prepared for? What things do you wish you had done differently as a teen? What things are you glad you did in preparation for adulthood? What tasks surprised you? What skills did you have to improve and what skills do you use often? This provides a backdrop for so much of what we do in family life and homeschool. Why chores? Because there is no chore fairy when you leave this house. Why learn to cook? You want to eat more than salad and cereal when you are out of this house. Why science? Because you are interested in XYZ and it relates. Why foreign language? Because you find these kinds of jobs interesting and would need to go to college for them. Why learn to change the oil or a tire? Real life is never convenient, be prepared.

3. Get them on board. Yes, you have to do history, but I’ll show you several options and let you choose what interests you. (Ex: this fall my 9th grader will study the history of science and has spent the spring choosing books with me.) Yes, you have to do math, but here are several possible curricula setups, which one do you prefer (online, computer, dvd, books, etc)? What do you want to learn how to do or try out? Let’s make it an elective.

Relationships support, love, guide, trust, and hold us accountable for making a good effort. They call out the best in us, and challenge us when we are falling far short of what we are capable of, or find ways to inspire us. They enter into our interests with enthusiasm, even when they aren’t interested in the first place (ex: I have a child currently a fan of Marvel, and I know and listen and talk about and watch and look at art ad nauseum because THEY are passionate. Even when I am not. At the same time, I willingly accept their creative writing fan fiction that is Marvel related, but enforce the rule that they have to read/write something totally unrelated as part of many school assignments because it isn’t good for us to only have experience or interest in one narrow area. I encourage them to look up from that passion and explore the rest of the world regularly too.