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justification for scheduled breaks
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Last week we took a week off from school. The reason-we had finished the term. Dh doesn’t want me to take scheduled breaks. In his mind, we are to have school unless something comes up. But he doesn’t realize that sometimes we need them because we get on each other’s nerves without them. He especially doesn’t want me to take off between grades. I took the month of May off before starting ds’s first grade. I had planned to do that anyway, but I needed the break because I was drained. I was homeschooling, working part time, and dealing with dh’s health problems. (A month was too long, BTW; either that or it was June and he wanted to play outside).
I suppose my question boils down to, why do we need breaks? Do our dc need breaks? How long should they be?
Any input would be appreciated.
Karen
We have done various things over the years – but generally school year round – however we all need breaks, so we take the odd week and odd days here and there when the fancy takes us – we always end up doing way more than the PS do and it works well. Even when we take time off the girls are doing reading and handicrafts or nature things, so learning is still going on – daily life is learning. Maybe if you explain to DH that you need time to get other things done and do things other than school for a few days or a week – it will refresh you and the children and make you a better teacher when you start again. Burn out is common in homeschool moms, because we try to do it all – it is not healthy to do that for anyone. During your days off perhaps you could still read/read aloud (don’t know the ages of your children), they could do handicrafts, art or listen to music and be outside in nature – all that is still school with a different focus. I am sure if you explain that to him, he will get it and be on board. We need breaks to restore us, and to allow our children the opportunity to be independent in their activities and to help them grow their imaginations, and allow them to use different skills. Hope that helps. Linda
We are actually on a scheduled break right now. We have school yearround, 3 weeks on, 1 week off, and then the entire month of July off. It has been a wonderful week! We use our breaks for more than just resting and not getting on each other’s nerves. My dc have played and played and played, we’ve all slept in each day, and I’ve been able to get many things done that would otherwise go undone. I have managed to clean out and completely reorganize 2 closets, the refrigerator and freezer, my laundry room/pantry; and I completed our bi-annual clothing swap. I also created photobooks for my parents and in-laws for Christmas. The photobooks alone took up about 3 hours of my time yesterday. I even read a book for myself, cover to cover! I feel completely refreshed and ready to start school on Monday.
NONE of that would’ve been accomplished if not for this scheduled break. I’m sure your husband understands that you do a lot more during the day than just school and that sometimes there are projects that need to take half a day or a full day here and there. Your children need time to play and create and use their imaginations, without being supervised all the time.
I agree with Linda about doing some “school” stuff that’s fun. Put on some classical music while your dc play, set up some arts and crafts for them to work on while you accomplish other tasks, give them a scavenger hunt to complete outside for nature study while you clean out a closet. There are lots of “school” things they can be doing that don’t involve sitting down to work on math problems or copywork.
Blessings,
Lindsey
Wow, you’re dh is opposite of mine. 8-/ Mine doesn’t really want us to school year-round, but he’s happy we are. (Try to figure that one out.
) We are on an unscheduled break right now because I’ve been sick most of the week, and he wants us to have summer break, even if it’s only a month or so. Especially for Christmas and other things like that, we get breaks. We like breaks between terms, too.Now, granted, he doesn’t get breaks from work unless he takes off those days… Is that what he’s trying to teach your children? That the real world doesn’t get breaks? However, they are just children… I think schooling year-round is enough for them to understand that the world goes ’round whether we want it to or not. I guess I would ask him *why* no breaks? There must be a reason that he hasn’t specifically stated yet, perhaps.
We need breaks from school for the same reason our husbands need breaks from their jobs: mental, spiritual, and physical refreshment. I’m assuming your husband, like mine, leaves his job at the end of the work day and comes home and has a couple of days off each week, weekends or otherwise. I think that sometimes they forget that we rarely leave our “jobs”, in fact, we live with our “jobs” 24/7!! 🙂 There are times when I simply must be just Mom to my girls for a while without being teacher as well.
I absolutely think the children need breaks, for the same reasons we do. As for how long of a break, it doesn’t have to be a whole week or month. Just a few days here and there could be very beneficial. Gently explain your husband that you want to give them time to intellectually digest the wonderful education you are feeding them. 🙂
Blessings also,
MrsC
Dh’s reasoning is that he doesn’t get a break from his job, why should ds get a break from school? He knows that if someone gets sick, if we are traveling, unexpected out-of-town relatives come in, if I have a daytime meeting related to my night job, or I need to get something done around the house, a day here and there (or a few if someone is sick) is one thing. But he thought my reason for our break last week, that we had finished another term of school, wasn’t a good reason. But he gets 4 weeks vacation this year. Why can’t we? I guess I could use that argument.
BTW, if dh is home we don’t get much done anyway.
Karen,
Does your husband actually ask you what you and the kids did in school each day?
I guess that’s where I’m having a difficult time understanding why taking breaks are such a big deal to him. Not to disrespect your hubby or anything…
My dh gives me free reign over all our school stuff, from books to buying supplies to scheduling…everything. He is very interested in what we do, and loves to talk with the kids about what they’re learning; however, I don’t try to micromanage his job, so he gives me the same courtesy. Being a momma is my first job. Being the teacher is my second job. As a momma, I have to be able to discern when the kids just need to chill out from school stuff and need to spend time with me as their momma and not their teacher (as Mrs. C said).
I think your argument for his vacation time is valid. Does he expect school to be done on weekends as well? If he had to work Christmas, would he also expect the children to have school on Christmas?
I really hope you know I’m genuinely not trying to speak ill of your husband, and I certainly don’t want to encourage you to undermine his authority in your home. We only have our children as children for a short period of time. Then they’re adults. As long as they’re children, I want to cherish that time and allow them to be children.
My husband only gets one week of paid vacation per year, but I know he doesn’t expect our children to have school 51 weeks a year. That is unfair to the children and to me. That is also unrealistic.
Please read this, knowing that I really am not trying to disrespect your husband. I believe you have a valid argument, if in fact you want to take scheduled breaks. I would be questioning my husband if I were in your shoes; that’s all I’m trying to say.
Blessings,
Lindsey
I agree with so much of what these wise women have said! I’m just stunned that he would be so against breaks… Rest? It’s in the Bible…
I especially like MrsC’s response. Does he see what you do as work? I assume he gets to leave his job mentally and physically for his off hours. You are at yours 24/7 basically–2 jobs–mom and teacher. We need a break, a time to be “just” (LOL) mom.
What is his real goal or motivation for this? Does he understand what a first grader in a traditional school does? (not that I want to only do what is “required” by schools, but as a reality check.) Is your son behind? Does he only see you taking off? Does he get to see you and what you do during school hours? Just trying to come up with some reasons as to why he is troubled over this.
Maybe allowing him to teach your ds for a week or so when he gets home would allow him to see why you and your ds need down time.
I, too, don’t mean to undermine or disrespect your husband. My heart hurts that he is fixated on quantity rather than quality. I pray that you find a way to work this out that honors his authority AND works for you.
My husband use to think that we never needed to take breaks during ”school” time. He thought that we had to follow the Public School System rules , school 5 days a week for 7 hours a day. **SIGH** I was so frustrated with it I asked him to teach for a week…kind of hard for him since he has his own welding business….needless to say after 2 days of teaching he was all about taking a break. He now welcomes the added breaks. I must add inhere that my husband is much more lenient towards breaks now because we discussed and then prayed about the issue before we ever set it “in stone” so to speak.
I also work part time now and find that a week off after three weeks on is a welcome break for us. My kids still “learn” during this time by reading, trips with their grandparents etc. Learning to me (personally)is not based on how many hours you spend “book learning” but the effort you take and try to instill in your children to make each day a learning experience. I have a schedule that we “try” and follow, but the “rigid rules ” of following a strict schedule each day are one of the many reasons I chose to remove my kids from public school, so we don’t always follow the schedule perfectly, this seems to be better for my kids who are older and may not work for everyone. Of course my children are older than
I find we need break to refresh our minds, even it is just for a day or two. Taking a break does not always mean that your child will not retain all the information they have already learned…if you or your husband are unsure about it, discuss it at length, all the pros and cons, then take baby steps…. try taking small breaks for a day or two and see how that goes and move forward from there( if you & your husband have already agreed), you “may” find you should have been doing this all along.
Um yes, we need breaks! There is a season for everything, and I’m not just throwing bible verses around !
There is a time to work, and a time to rest. We simply are not designed to go non stop. Rest is a gift, and with every gift there is the potential for it to be abused (laziness). Perhaps there is a fear of this happening, or maybe another fear your husband has regarding you taking a break?
My personal opinion is that as the ‘manager’ of all things home, schooling our children at home falls under this, and while our husbands are the head, part of that is trusting wife’s god given good judgement regarding things in the home. Hopefully respect, honor and communication are principles by which decisions are made, including disagreements regarding how to educate.
But back to the question- why we need breaks- sometimes taking a rest from something gives us a new perspective on things, and when it’s time to return to it, we have a new fervor for it. (I’m working on being fluent in French and I got to a point where I was bored and not absorbing info. Took a nice long break and I’m feeling way more motivated to learn! )
i know this was posted long ago, but I hope you or any other ladies are encouraged that its not only ok to take breaks, but necessary!
) We are on an unscheduled break right now because I’ve been sick most of the week, and he wants us to have summer break, even if it’s only a month or so. Especially for Christmas and other things like that, we get breaks. We like breaks between terms, too.
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