60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Juggling school, nosy toddler, and regular chores
- This topic has 8 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 11 months ago by
.
Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
- Posts
We start back up on Monday after Christmas break, followed by vacation, followed by a week of sorting through all their toys (from our move this past fall). I am SOOO ready for school again!!! LOL
But, I am so worried that we will fall behind again (still?) because of my 1 1/2yo not being on a regular naptime. Sometimes he goes down at 10 am, other days not until right after lunch, and still other days not till nearly 3pm! He is very hands-on (read: touches everything) and very busy. He gets in the way of… well, pretty much everything. It’s hard to cook with him around, clean with him around, do laundry with him around, do schoolwork with him around… You get the idea. I know others have suggested a Pack-n-Play, but my son simply will not have any of it. He loves his freedom and must be exploring constantly, or he is just plain mad, sad, and loud. I started to teach him to stay on a blanket for a certain amount of time, but to try doing school while keeping him on there is proving to be quite difficult.
So my question amounts to this: What kind of schedule/routine can I incorporate that will keep the house relatively clean, food on the table, laundry washed & dried, plus all our schoolwork getting done every day with a toddler underfoot? I have tried so many different ways of doing things, which work for a week, maybe 2 if I’m lucky, and then we’re back to chaos. Not because I’m not sticking with it (though in a few cases it was), but more because I can’t predict routines for a growing boy. Let’s just say, he’s not like his 3 older sisters were… 😉 Oh, my girls are 7 (almost 8), 6, and 4, and while they all have chores, the oldest helps out A LOT (hubby says too much).
Sorry this got long. And TIA for any words of wisdom!
Sara 🙂
I feel for you really. I have a 2.5yo and 14 mo twins. They get into everything! They do have regular nap time though. After lunch they all take a 2-3 hour nap. Well normally anyway. Some days they need to go down earlier or they only sleep for an hour. It happens maybe once a week. The regular nap time is what saves me hands down. Is there any way you can get him on a nap schedule? I think that would help you so much. Also we have a light schedule. I have the must have stuff done like math, reading, copywork and if we get to the rest we do and if not then fine. This is the season of our life and maybe next year (or the next) we can get it all in everyday. In the whole big picture it will all work out. The house in not perfect and hubby is okay with that. I had a chat with him and said with all that is on my plate the house can be picked up but not perfect (unless he helps) and he is fine with that. I also reminded him that spaghetti once a week and baked chicken with plain veg on the side would be our meals for a while. You know nothing fancy, just basic and quick…he understands that too.
Simplify what you can and just work on wha tyou can. The crock pot is my good friend right now. Can you move some thing around so that your little guy is stuck in the room with you where every you are? I use to hate the idea of gates, but those are a good friend to me now. I dont’ have them in all the rooms, but I can move something round easily to be in front of the door etc so the littles can’t wonder of and make a mess. I cannot always have my eye on them every minute. I know what you mean about the cooking though and I will let you know when I figure that out. The only thing I would say is the crock pot and basic breakfast and lunch stuff. My oldest often helps with breakfast, lie toast in the toaster with poeanut butter and he can do cereal or yogurt and easy stuff. He likes to help so I don’t think it is a big deal.
Sara,
I would encourage you to remember that you need to be in charge and set the routine that works for you. A 1.5 year old is not capable of determining what’s best, obviously, but you are. Children really do benefit from routine – all of them. I would start with a set schedule of wake and nap time and bed time. Determine what is best for YOU & your HUSBAND and use that. For example, my 14 month old takes one nap a day at this point and it is right after lunch. Some days he might go down at 1 pm, some 1:30 pm, but it is consistent each day. He sleeps for about 2 hours, sometimes 3. Even if he didn’t sleep, he’d still go to his crib – everyone has rest/quiet time at my house, even the 10 year old. I think as homeschooling mommies, it’s important to have a breather in the middle of the day for everyone.
Re. the playpen, start small – use the playpen whether he likes it or not. Start small 10 or 15 minutes and work your way up to any hour over time. Mine hates it, but it is necessary at times. I know he’s safe while I get a few things done. I do let him play with one drawer of toys in the kitchen while I work, but he’s just begun trying to explore the other cabinets – a big no-no. I am training him not to, but it will take a lot of consistent effort. Gates are helpful, too. Remember, do what is best for you & your family as a whole and he will eventually catch on that this is the new plan.
Don’t worry about the house as much as training and loving the wee ones. It’s hard to let it go, but I’d start with working on their habits and simplifying as much as possible. I do laundry each day with Thursdays and Sundays off (usually) and the kids sort and put away their own and help fold. I read at bedtime and they fold. I just toss a load in before bed or first thing in the am and rotate it partway through the morning. If it goes too long, it’s a bear to catch up, but I can manage 1-2 loads a day. (4 kids here).
A basic meal plan is so helpful. This is my weakest area, but I’m asking a friend to help me get it together. I want 4 weeks of meals to rotate through w/ corresponding grocery lists. Crock pots are terrific, too! I’m also trying to double and freeze what I can and one cookbook that has been helpful is Dinner’s in the Freezer.
Anyway, just my 2 cents.
Blessings on the journey,
Christie
Hee, hee, FlyLady is one of the methods I have tried in the past. Truth be told, it helped the most, but I’m at a point now that the routines aren’t working for me for one reason or another.
With my toddler, he isn’t on a regular nap schedule (but he does have a regular wake and bed time) because he is in the process of switching his naptimes. He used to have both a morning and an afternoon nap, then he moved to just one late morning to right around lunch time, and now he’s kind of late morning/midday/early afternoon. I know that this is temporary until his body adjusts completely into the afternoon nap. But this is the biggest cause of not getting much done. That, and the fact that it’s pretty much impossible to do schoolwork with him around. If I can just figure out a way to get through this transition period, I think I’ll be OK. I do love quiet time right after lunch, but if he’s napping then, we jump right into school. That’s hard on all of us. None of us feel like being productive at that point. We’ve already done everything else all morning (chores, and playing, and projects and the like), so we’re ready for some down time after lunch.
As I have thought about this, I am thinking I will do the girls’ literature (I have both doing the 1st grade books) readings right before devotion/bedtime. That would save me a few minutes during the day. Also, I am about to join a co-op/HS group in town here, and they do CM-style art, picture, and music study together. That will save me a little more time throughout the week. Now that my oldest is reading very well on her own, I am trying to find things other than her beginning reading book that she can do on her own without my help so much. It’s tough, though, when most subjects are with her sister, who can’t read hardly anything yet. Perhaps I could have the oldest read to the younger? Reading my 4yo’s read-aloud story during quiet time really was great the couple times I’ve done it. I think I will incorporate that in more often, as well. I am thinking outloud here, I know…
But all this still doesn’t figure out the best time to get any schoolwork done besides during his naptime. I will have to brainstorm with hubby tonight before we get started tomorrow and fail before we ever even start. :-/
Sara,
I think I misread your original post a bit. It seems this is more of a transitional problem that a regular one. Since this is a transition time, you might have to devote this time to the wee one and his training. Your other kids are young enough that if you simply do nothing more than read great books, you’ll be fine. Tough advice to follow when you have lots of great material, but it really is true. I have 4 kids – dd10, ds7, dd3.5 and ds14 months. When my 3rd was 1.5 years, I bought some Rod & Staff curriculum and handed it to my oldest who was 8 and for 8 weeks that was her school. I devoted that 8 weeks to seriously training my little girl. For 8 weeks, we tomato staked, worked on obedience and all I did with the oldest 2 was family devotions and reading some good literature (usually at bedtime). The rest of my time was with chores, meals and training the little one. It seems like a lot of time, but those weeks (and I could have done it in 6 most likely) laid the rails to our smooth and easy days. Now, we’re about to lay some more rails with the newest little one and the other kids will need to keep on while I work on training the little guy. Sure, we’ll miss some of our regular studies along the way, but they are learning that sometimes, the baby IS the lesson and that habits and character are more important than academics.
Blessings again,
Christie
Christie, you make a lot of sense. I will talk to my dh about this. I think the training definitely needs to come first and foremost right now. He has been throwing things constantly, at people, for days now, and it is driving us all BATTY (including hubby)!
On a side note, I did try my ideas out today: Bible/prayer during breakfast, putting Baby in the Pack-n-Play, we’ll read their lit book tonight before bed along with devotion/prayer, and we even split up school just a tad during the day, too. We got done in the normal amount of time, just spaced out a little more. Worked out relatively well for the first day. But they always do well the first few days, so we’ll see how it goes the rest of the week. 😉
Thanks for the help and ideas!
Sara 🙂
I wanted to say that my daughter would have NOTHING to do with a pack or play or just sitting on a blanket while we did fun things. All that would result in is LOTS of crying—and then we still couldn’t get anything finished because of all of the crying.
SO–what I did was use a babycarrier. There are many babycarriers out there like Ergo or a becco or mai tei that can be used from toddler to like 3-4 years old. I would put the kid on my back like a backpack–and since their weight was all distributed it wasn’t heavy at all. In fact, a good baby carrier will be very comfortable for you and the kid. They were happy because they were in effect being “held”–so no tears or unahppiness. And it kept them out of trouble. They were on my back so they couldn’t get hurt or into anything. I would wear my kids like this whenever I had anything to do: fold laundry, dishes, gardening…you name it.
Sara – I’m glad that you had a good day. Remember that it takes about a month to form a new habit and little ones will catch on eventually, too. Often times we give up on something when we hit a rough patch only to have to re-start later when if we had simply pushed through the rough patch, it would have been over so much sooner. Take heart, pray, seek your husband’s advice and what his needs/desires are for your family and remember that consistency is key.
RE. Baby Carrying/Wearing…
I think it is partly a philosophical question and partly a practical one and the answer could look different in different homes. I have and use an Ergo baby carrier and it is very useful at times. I have cooked and cleaned at times with it and use it extensively when out and about town. I even carried ds all day at a theme park once with no problem to my back and he was very happy the whole time.
That said, however, a toddler is quite capable of learning that his needs and desires do not trump the needs of the family. Personally, I would not carry my child around for several years to simply avoid a bit of crying (or a lot of crying for that matter). There are times when I simply need to accomplish a task without the burden of baby on my back and I use these as training moments for the toddlers. These are the times when the playpen/crib time is useful for me (or when older, room time). My job as a mother is not to make my children happy. Making them happy isn’t even on my radar screen. My job is to love and nurture and train them to grow into responsible, respectable people who love the Lord, bring glory to Him and serve Him whole-heartedly. Of course, I do not desire for my kids to be sad or unhappy, but by using blanket time/playpen what have you, along with teaching and training – those few tears (or sometimes buckets of tears) pale in comparison to what can be accomplished – smooth & easy days, children who know that they are not the center of attention from a young age, and much more.
Of course, there are different ways of raising children and it isn’t always an all or nothing approach that works best, I just wished to point out that the tears and unhappiness that might come from playpen/blanket type training are not never-ending or detrimental to a child’s well being.
Oh, and if the crying is that bothersome, I move the playpen to a back bedroom and simply poke my head in to make sure all is well. The crying is quite often lessened or stopped when the wee one cannot see more exciting options outside of the playpen. That and keeping some neat toys/books rotating in there will help.
Blessings,
Christie
Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
- The topic ‘Juggling school, nosy toddler, and regular chores’ is closed to new replies.