Is this legalism?

Thanks for clarifying! Didn’t mean to go nuts..just have been through the magnifying glass!

  As someone who has been called on by neighbors on false charges and had to go through the fear and anxiety of dealing with the Dept. of Family and Children Services; please don’t report on this one thing and especially without more information. Also, if it is that bad, it should be handled personally and not through the government as much as possible. The consequences of bringing in the government is too great and destructive compared with any problems you may be sensing and I’m sure can be handled on a person-to-person basis.

Getting clarification on the throw-up business, or whatever it is, is the most important and the other stuff is just parental preference.

Rachel

This is not what I would call legalism. Not unless they are saying this is the only biblical way to go and you should be doing it too.

While I do think their apporach could lead to a lot of rebellion later, I also think it is none of your business. I would not talk to them directly about it. If thye bring up such things, you can respond with things like “eat his throw up? That’s disgusting!” or “we let our kids have sweets now and then. We believe in enjoying all the foods God has blessed us with (in moderation).” But I wouldn’t just sit them down and talk to them about it. None of this is clearly sinful behavior. They may be extreme choices but they are choices they are allowed to make for their family.

The one thing that worried me most in your post is the mom’s behavior–eating mostly veggies, losing lots of weight and exersizing a lot. My concern would be that she has an eating disorder which she might then be allowing to spill over onto her kids. You know her better of course so if you think that is the case, then I might step in and talk to her (first) or her husband (secondarily if she doesn’t listen).

I’ve been reading this forum for a while, but haven’t registered until now.  This thread really caught my attention.  I would just like to encourage the original poster to cover this situation in prayer before speaking to her friend.  I believe strongly that you do have a responsibility as a sister in Christ to speak to her about making a child eat their own vomit.  There is nothing loving about that, no matter how you look at it.   As parents we are responsible to God for raising our children in love (God is OUR loving father, why shouldn’t our children have loving parents), and in the nurture and admonition of the Lord as commanded by scripture.  I personally don’t see anything nurturing or loving about making a child do that.  Perhaps your friend had something similar done to her in her childhoold and just doesn’t realize that this is not an appropriate thing to do.  I would encourage you to search the scriptures to see if there is anything that God lays on your heart to share with her from the Word about this situation, and then cover it in prayer until you have the word from the Lord that it is time to speak. 

Another concern, outside of what I’ve already shared, is that this type of behavior could lead to more abusive types of behavior if it is not dealt with now.  If your friend does not respond well to your talk you may need to pray about whether or not this should be taken to a higher level, such as her pastor.  I am very much against people interfering with how I raise my children, but when I see an abuse such as this being done to a child I believe that action is necessary.  If your friend is the woman of God you believe her to be her heart should be tender to the Lord and she should respond positively to your concerns (if you present them in love and with a heart for helping her).  Prayer, prayer, prayer, is key in this situation.  Matthew 18:15-17 teaches us how to handle sin among Christians.  You may not go to the same church, but I believe this could be applied to the situation (after all we are all one church). 

“If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

An may I also suggest that you involve your husband in this matter.  He can give you guidance concerning what is appropriate to do in this situation and what the scripture says is right to do.

Blessings,

Missy