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intro and prayer request
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Hello,
Let me begin by saying that this group is a wonderful encouragement! I have also used so many of the great resources and I’ve learned so much.
My name is Amanda and we just started our first year of homeschooling (dd, 10; dd, 9; and ds, 7). Although I’m from California, I have been a missionary teacher in Japan for the last 4 years and I was a public school teacher for 7 years before that. I am very excited to begin the homeschool journey and I love the CM philosophy. All during my teaching career I was implementing CM but didn’t even know it
. We have been living in Japan as missionaries for the last 4 years but, due to the economy, my husband has accepted a government civilian job on the local military base here. This job provided the means for me to stay home this year to homeschool and continue volunteering in our local church.This brings me to my prayer request. While I know in my heart of hearts that God provided this and that He is aksing our family to keep walking by faith, my husband is having serious second thoughts about me staying home. A benefit of his job is free schooling for our kids through the Department of Defense (something coveted by the overseas community here) and that would allow me to work/substitute. He is flat out panicking about being a single income family, as this would be the first time, and I see him relying on himself instead of the Lord. The last four years have been quite a humbling experience and I know he just wants to provide as much as he can for us. He sees us both working as a way to start saving and (finally!) pay off student loans. I have shared my heart about homeschooling, which is a desire I’ve had since our children were infants. I’ve shared that by him working and allowing me to stay at home he is providing us with more opportunities and “treasure” than any 2nd income could.
I guess I’m just anxious and I don’t want my heart to get broken. I also don’t want to see my husband trust in the wrong things. If you’ve read all this thanks for hearing me out and thanks for your prayers. I am looking forward to getting to know people here a bit better.
Blessings,
Amanda
Hi and welcome Amanda – We are a one income family, my husband was AF until he retired after 25 years a year ago – his is also now working on the base as a government worker. We did not homeschool for the first 5 years or so, our children were in the DODDS school in Europe – it was because of the standard of teaching and discipline in said school that we pulled our girls out and started homeschooling them. We are almost done now (12th grade) it has been a wonderful journey and well worth any sacrifice we may have had to make along the way. I did not care for the DODDs schools at all, we had many complaints and our girls have been behind in math only because of the terrible teaching they received in those first 5 years at a DODDs school. Maybe not all of them are as bad as the ones we dealt with, but it is worth mentioning, free is not always worth it in the long term. I pray you will homeschool and I pray you and your husband will see that it is a viable option on one income. Hugs and blessings, Linda
Amanda,
I will be praying for you as you trust the Lord to show you & your husband what He wants for your family. If the Lord calls you to be a single income family He will supply every need, and if He calls you to trust Him (even perhaps temporarily) with your children in a different school environment than might be your first choice, He will take care of them and you.
Chris
I had another thought – could you do work at home teaching English to Japanese students or giving them extra practice – you could then if it were possible, work your hours around the homeschool. As Chris said, pray on it, and hopefully the answer will come – Linda
One thing that comes to mind is that men so identify themselves with work and providing that it is very hard for them to feel as though they might fail their families in those areas. That’s the way God made them–as workers–and it’s hard for them to be completely dependent on God. (I know, isn’t that sort of a pride issue, you say? It can become one, yes, just as it can be very hard for women not to take over things and “just get it done” instead of allowing their husbands to lead.) Pride issues aside, be sure to cut your husband some slack because he is trying to do what he is told to do (provide for his family) while struggling to depend on God. It’s a tough job, and your prayers and willingness to let him lead will speak volumes to him and to your children.
Having said that, do you think he might be willing to hear a word or two from another homeschooling dad’s perspective? I was just thinking that we’re probably mostly a group of moms here, and we often seem to be helped tremendously by hearing advice and thoughts from each other. Perhaps if you mentioned how helpful it is to hear from other homeschoolers who have been there & done that, you could also suggest a PM or two from any of the husbands who have struggled with the one-income thing or, like Linda’s family, have had experiences with DOD schools.
Would any of you be willing to ask your husbands to PM Amanda’s husband with their thoughts? Just thinking….
those are tough trust issues for your DH. My husband was very worried about our ability to stick to the committment of homeschooling back when God laid it on my heart. So i waited. we waited and prayed for a whole year. Finally, i think a few words from a trusted friend, who was also a homeschool dad made an impact. As my Dh’s trust in God grew, he saw me patiently waiting (not something I was good at), and he decided he was on board.
My best advice is pray and wait, pray and wait. And if you know any other homeschool dads who could drop a few loving words in his ear, that can go a long way for a man. I’ll pray for you right now!
hugs,
Amy
I think mine would answer a PM about our experience – I can say he has never regretted our decision, though he was wary at first too. Linda
Welcome, Amanda! I hope and pray your husband allows you to homeschool. I love “The How and Why of Homeschooling” by Ray Ballmann: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=homeschooling+ray+ballmann
He’s a homeschool dad with doctorate degrees. Book has a foreward by Former Majority Leader, Dick Armey. Full of Scripture, stats, and data. Chapters include: Homeschooling, the Return to a Biblical and Historical Model of Education, Is Home Schooling for You?, Why Homeschooling is the Best Alternative, etc. Many husbands have reservations at first (mine did, too!!) But often come around after they see the blessings. HTH some:) Gina
Ladies,
I am so thankful for your responses and your prayers. Linda, your words about the DODDs Europe experience seem to echo what I’ve heard here in Japan. You seem a few seasons ahead of us on a similar path. Is it okay if I dub you my SCM mentor? 😉
My husband (Fred) and I spent a bit of time talking last night and he shared some of the same thoughts that Sue posted. He wants to do his best to provide for us in time, talents and treasure and during the last 4 years he has felt like he’s fallen short in all three areas. I think he initally saw this job as the proverbial “golden ticket.”
We are blessed to attend a church here that fully supports homeschooling. There is a group that meets and all of our pastoral leadership (some of my husband’s best friends here) also homeschool on single incomes. From what my husband said his heart is comfortable with us homeschooling but his brain gets him confused! He raised some good questions last night about scheduling, goals, etc that we were able to discuss. For now the decision is to homeschool and simply take evaluation of everything at the end of the first term. This allows the dust to settle from beginning the new job, lets us budget for a couple of months and get into a routine of schooling here at home.
I appreciate the perspective check you ladies gave me. He is under a lot of pressure with everything from a new job to heightened responsibilities in the family, and I know I can always do better in praying for him.
Again thanks so much for the prayers.
. We have been living in Japan as missionaries for the last 4 years but, due to the economy, my husband has accepted a government civilian job on the local military base here. This job provided the means for me to stay home this year to homeschool and continue volunteering in our local church.
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