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Intrinsic Motivation to Learn? Where is the secret elixir?
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Ok, so today I had a long conversation with my almost 13 year old about *why* you have to learn certain things and what should motivate you to embrace homeschooling and the luxury it entails. She was doing a very poor job of understanding her Algebra and wasn’t motivated to look elsewhere (with or without me) for a better explanation of her trouble spot. I admit I get really frustrated at moments like this and am not the best homeschooling mama. But today I kept cool and simple talked with her. This is where that lead us ….
I was asking her why she didn’t feel motivated to jump off the path, stop where she was, and go really learn (until she understood it) the material. I said that I thought homeschooling was so cool because you could do just that and that in school (my only experience) you could almost never, ever do such a thing (at least not at school, maybe on your own time later).
She asked me why she needed to know certain things. My answer (and I’d love to hear yours) was that she needed to learn whatever it was if it was a step to getting to her goal. This was a frustrating answer to her. She wanted to know how on earth she should know what her goal was at this point. I said that she could probably figure out if she was a prodigy, bound for a trade or interested in something that required higher education. (I thought that was so clever of me!)
I was doodling while we chatted and I wish I could show you here! I had listed all the “other” options she was coming up with as goals on one side and the ones I mentioned above on the other. They were *hmm* interesting to say the least! My favorite was PIRATE! What kind of silly, wild girl am I raising?! I told her that her father and I would be sooo proud of that one – sarcasm intended but lovingly!
So how do you teach children to teach themselves? To want to learn? To hve grit and gumption and zest for learning?
Download this article – it’s free and explains not only how to teach your children to be self-teaching, but how to get them to be self-motivated – full details can be found in her book, but this article will give you a good start. http://homeschoolenrichment.com/goodies/the-secret-to-homeschooling-freedom
My short answer would be that it is completely reasonable for a 13yo not to know where she is headed yet but that you two together should be giving her a good base so that she can be prepared for whatever God may call her to. But if there are specifics like “how will I ever use algebra?” you should think about those and try to come up with good answers. We changed how we did grammar when my son asked similar questions because he was right and a lot of it was pointless. Btw I use algebra to alter knitting patterns all the time.
Nebby
Thanks Rebekahy for the homeschoolenrichment link! My oldest is only 1st grade but I gleaned some important things to, Lord willing, create a self learner in time. Nebby had a some great points too. Thanks Claire thanks for your post! only thing perhaps to add, is to maybe point out the things that interest her or things she does really well and fast forward to what her gifts or interests would like as an adult, hopefully to open up a desire to attain something she already likes or is gifted at?? Thanks everyone. Blessings.
Thank you for the Homeschool Enrichment article!!!!!
I’ve been working with some young adults recently and this is certainly a hot topic with parents and teachers. I have two resources that we have really liked and have given us some “ah-ha” moments, but more importantly they have drastically changed how the young adults view themselves and their future.
The first one is the book “Do Hard Thing” by Alex and Brett Harris.
They are twin brothers who wrote the book while being teens, for teens. It is eye opening to how our society has low expectations of teens. They propose a Rebelution and have high expectations. It’s a very good book. We are reading it aloud together one chapter at a time and discuss it as we are reading. It is working quite well this way. I think every parent, teacher, and teen should read this book. Here is their website: http://therebelution.com/
Another interesting resource is Joanne Calderwood’s freebies for the summer. She is a Christian homeschool mom on the homeschool talk circuit whose focus is “self-teaching”. There is a lot to glean from the free audios. I do not know how much longer they will be up. http://www.urthemom.com/Summer_Freebies.php
She also has a book “The Self-Propelled Advantage: The Parent’s Guide to Raising Independent, Motivated Kids Who Learn with Excellence”. (Though I think the audios suffice enough to get an idea of what she is saying. There is a large sample on amazon from the book too).
I will say upfront, she does quote Charlotte Mason; but she is not a CM type homeschooler. I still think there are wonderful things to glean from what she is saying and can be implemented with CM style. But, that is just my opinion.
Since implementing some of these techniques and ideas, the morale has risen, as well as the work ethic (though we have a long way to go). The realization has been made that bigger things are ahead and they have choices right now to make.
I appreciate all the comments above and the article reference!
I just realized the Homeschool Enrichment article is by Joanne Calderwood! So, the audios referenced above will be a nice compliment to the article!
I just read the first Calderwood article. I think I should clarify where my original post was coming from now that I’ve read it.
I did not mean to say that my daughter was complaining in the way described by Calderwood in her article. I simply meant to show that we’d had a humorous discussion, a somewhat tongue -in-cheek discussion of why we have to learn certain things.
My children are actually pretty great kids. We have a our moments here and there, but they are kind to one another, helpful to us, love God and respect their family structure. Calderwood’s descriptions on the first page of the article are in no way reflective of anything I would tolerate here. Nipped in the bud that would be! Yikes. It made me want to send a copy of Laying Down the Rails to that family! 🙂 I should have been clearer in noting that our conversation was theoretical in nature.
I must admit I am not a fan of her idea on self learning exactly either. In some respects I am not opposed …. my children often get started or know what we typically do and go for it themselves. They frequently go farther in their lessons or inquire about something deeper on their own. I am just not a fan of this idea of “popping in occasionally” to ask a question about the material or see where they are in a particular subject during the term. I just don’t like that model.
So many times my enthusiasm sparks something for them in a particular lesson that they’ve done on their own or that we’ve done together. Or vice versa. I like that. I think there is great value in that too. I don’t think it shows a dependence on me to lead either. I am a catalyst at best or a feast setting fool at worst.
I would go totally mad homeschooling if my children did all their work on their own and we didn’t engage in our fabulous discussions or narrations or explanations or explorations or … or … whatnot. I think I’ve posted on that before. Independence yes. Isolation no. There is a nice balance to meet in homeschooling I think. I’m not as interested in checking work and grading papers so far after the fact. I’d much rather them engage me to tell me their new found knowledge or to show me their new found talents. Person to person. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else. It’s hard to describe.
CM calls for pacing. That is not consistent with letting a child take a book and run with it. I’ve had to learn that with CM and the results are stronger, better with the slower pace, I think. It gives time to digest the information. To relate it. To make it their own.
I do not have a large family. Calderwod does. I think this makes a tremendous difference in how she sees this issue of self learning. My large family friends have very different models too that are essential to them as well. And that’s totally cool with me. I have no issues. It’s just not us/me.
I read a book recently by Paul Tough about what really leads to a successful education and life. In it his research reveals some startling things outside of the normal educational marks we all generally think are keys to success. I think in my post I was thinking along those lines. A good bit of the book is not related to this issue and deals with children coming from serious disadvantage. But even so the same things seem to ensure their success as well. I loved that several disciplines approached the research and not just one area.
This has been a great day for SCM discussions. Yippee. So many great women sharing! I love it.
Here is a quote from Google books about the book I read:
How Children Succeed by Paul Tough
11+, GCSEs, A levels – it sometimes seems like the story of our children’s lives is of one academic test after another. We’re convinced that a good performance in these exams will lead to success later on in life. But what if we’re wrong?
In fact, studies are increasingly showing that the qualities most likely to ensure a better degree, a better job and, ultimately, a more fulfilling life are perseverance, curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism, and self-control. These are qualities known to economists as ‘non-cognitive’, to psychologists as ‘personality traits’ but to the rest of us as ‘character’.
How Children Succeed introduces us to a new generation of researchers and educators who are using the tools of science to peel back the mysteries of character.
Claire – I did not think you were saying your child was whiny or disrespectful about it at all. It sounded like a very funny conversations – one of those you will never forget! I thought the question was how to motivate and increase the desire to learn, which I thought was a great question.
I am sorry if I miss understood or offended, it was not meant to. Just sharing interesting stuff I’ve been reading, listening to and implementing with very positive results that seemed to address your question.
Agree that character is very important. I feel self-learning significantly increases character and increases the expectations of the young adult. I do not feel it conflicts with CM. It sounds like to me this is what she encouraged. It could also be different interpretations of what we are reading and how it could be implemented.
This has been an interesting discussion as with other recent threads. All is appreciated.
Oh no, no offense taken.
I think all of our approaches are done based on what works best for our families. That is what makes homeschooling so wonderful in my eyes.
Ditto to what Hope to Learn said! I don’t recall the example you are talking about in the article, but instead thought that the series answered exactly the three questions you asked in your original post
“So how do you teach children to teach themselves? To want to learn? To hve grit and gumption and zest for learning?”
If you go on to read more of Calderwood – you will see that her kids have all those traits as well as the character traits you mentioned in the quote from the Tough book. And we’re not following her suggestions to a “t”, but have adapted them to work VERY well in our family. I’m thrilled knowing that as I have my fifth child in September, my 9 and 7 year old are able to carry-on learning without me – I know families with older children than mine that will take weeks off because mom isn’t available and that’s fine too, but for the time that I need a nap, my older ones are able to complete their own studies as well as help with the younger two – my children are a TRUE blessing to me because of their independence and they LOVE to be responsible in these ways – it’s a joy for them and if I gave them the choice between watching a movie and making a meal – they would eagerly choose to make a meal.
I was a self-motivated teen and have reaped MANY benefits from it, but it certainly wasn’t something my parents intentionally taught me (my mother always asked me why I was taking so many hard classes my senior year! LOL – bet she was glad I did – I got a fantastic scholarship because of my SAT scores and graduated in 3 1/2 years from college because of the AP credit I got from those “hard” classes). So obviously, there’s more than one way for a teen to become self-motivated and it’s great that you want that for your child!
Keep pursuing it, there’s a vast difference between children that are self-motivated and those that are not and those differences continue to follow them throughout their lives.
Wow, this has been a great discussion. I snagged Joanne Calderwood’s book a couple months ago when it was on sale at Amazon. I’ve only read two or three chaptes so far. I stopped when I realized we still had so much work in the character department to do. My 10yo ds was sort-of a late reader – didn’t take off ’til the end of yr. 3. It was my goal during yr 4 to have him take on some of the reading for himself (with me), which was met with much resistance. I feel it is very important to the young man he will become for him to take some ownership and responsiblity for his own education. This is where Joanne’s concepts have been helpful in helping me figure out how to do that. Her focus on character first, I believe, does align with our CM leanings. And that is where I realized we have some deficiancies and still had some work to do in that area. And, wanting him to grow in independance in no way means I want to abandon him completely in the process. I absolutely LOVE learning along with him. But I do not believe it is to his benefit if I continue to do all the reading for him. So I’ve switched things up quite a bit this year to require him to do more work on his own. But I will still be there, reading TQ comentary with him, and some other readings as well. I will be walking him through the process of how it should look as he reads and thinks through what he has read, and then talks to me & dad about it. Absolutely I still want to talk about what he has learned with him, and hear his narrations, etc. But I also want him to grow in responsibility and work ethic, and that is where I will be gleaning from Joanne to help with the process. I don’t think we have to agree with everything or implement every idea from someone in order to learn from them or be encouraged by them.
Anyway, I’d appreciate your prayers as we begin our year next week. 😉
Melissa
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